Searching for fellow PhD students

[youngblowfish]

Hello,

I find myself badly in need of company as a newly pregnant PhD student. I am about to start my second year and, all being well, I should be 12 weeks by the beginning of October.

Are there any pregnant/parents PhD students out there? I could really do with a thesis writing support thread and it would be lovely to chat to people who are in a similar position.

Sounds good Dotty

Did the recent graduates have any top tips?

Things I wrote down included:

Use a referencing system right from the start (e.g. Refworks, Endnote)

Get into a writing habit early on

Carry a notebook around with you and use small bits of spare time for freewriting Have you come across the idea of freewriting? You have to sit down with a pen - no typing - and a piece of paper and write for 5 minutes, or longer if you like. You are not allowed to cross out, or otherwise amend and you are just supposed to keep going, not overthink - supposed to be a good way of getting past blocks. One of the people who spoke had obviously had terrible writers' block. She described sitting at her computer for a whole morning and writing only a few words at a time, which she would then immediately delete. Someone also recommended using Scrivener to organise your writing, which is a software that allows you to have a kind of corkboard you stick bits of writing on, making it easier to organise bits and pieces than word.

There was lots of other stuff I didn't write down as well, mainly about work/life balance and reminding yourself you don't have to work all the time - but I think having a family stops you getting into those traps in the first place.

Ooh thanks for that - I like the idea of scribbling stuff down now and then

I started off well with endnote but been a bit crap lately

I think I might have to start using leechblock (google it) to stop timewasting. May have to put this site on too ;-)

Can i join in? Am feeling a bit demoralised just now. 3rd yr of phd, 2 dc, ds1 just before i started and dd2 is now 2. Funding body generous so took 9m paid mat leave. Have never really got back into it intellectually since dd2 and made much worse by ds1 starting school as logistics a nightmare (dh essentially absent from 1 end of the week to another), so work short days (lab based, so have to be in) and make up time in evenings. Supportive supervisor allows me to do 3d a week and i am funded for this, but uni does not allow p/t, so have a sort of extended fiction running that will finish at 4y. Last week discovered 6m work down the drain as supplier of key material suddenly stopped making it, so will have to start again, find supplier, optimise protocols etc etc . Heart is not in it...... help!

Hello and welcome wearymum. That sounds really hard - the combination of childcare problems and the supply issue. I know what you mean about being not really into it intellectually and how hard that makes it. It's early days for me and so far I feel completely committed and engaged and the work's just flown by. By comparison, I've been finishing a freelance project that also involved research of a kind, writing up results etc. I wasn't enjoying it, or convinced of its value and every paragraph was a torture of procrastination and dithering. It's so hard to make progress if your heart (and/or head) is not in it, isn't it? That, of course, is no help whatsoever, but you certainly have my sympathy.

Is there anyway round the supply issue? Is there any chance another researcher somewhere might have a stash of the old material, or does it have a short shelf-life? I really hope things get better for you soon.

Welcome Wearymum sorry to hear things are hard. Wish could help... but know you have some folk in the same boat here

I feel like someone has my head in a vice today .I'm stressed, and have spent 5 hours doing freelance stuff not PhD! Also it's really hard to think/work when it's all kicking off upstairs with two LOs (Daddy is in charge...)

AND how is it friday already?! these ethics forms won't do themselves.... eeeeep!

Arghhh just had a huge argument with dh, even though I am funded an bring home about the same money as dh he really doesn't give this respect as a job and I have to practically beg for him to look after dd as we can only afford 3 afternoons on nursery! Only have a year to go but can't see how without more support, anyone else have this problem? Any ideas?

Please can I join in? I've got 9 months of my funded PhD left. During the course of the PhD (started in October 2007) I've had two children who are now 2.5 years and 1 year respectively. DH is in the army and currently deployed til some time in May.

I think I am going quietly mad as just trying to do everything at once is so exhausting, and coupled with a heavy-ish teaching load this term (next week I'll do 12 hours, plus 4 hours marking, and that's not unusual).

I've read through a few posts and can see that lots of you are facing exactly the same kinds of things that I'm facing e.g. other half not really seeing PhD as job. In this case, and also because he can't drive / is frequently not in the country, doing all the errands and childcare pick-ups on my own, doing all home admin, most of non-nursery childcare hours, still bf'ing youngest DD so not great sleep (and expressing milk for oldest one), constant bloody viruses etc. meaning that I have to take time off again and again ... and still having DH reflect that my life is soooooo, sooooo much easier than his.

Sorry ... erm, a bit of a rant. Hope you'll forgive me and let me in

PS - should have mentioned that we have an au pair so I'm definitely not as hard done-by as that post made me sound.

PPS - oh God, also obviously didn't mean to imply that my life is harder than life in the army (particularly not than on the front line, although DH is army doctor so not front line), more that it's not particularly easy, IYSWIM.
Oh dear. Should never post after unaccustomed glass of

Lol hello frozen! Wow 9 months left? What's your phd in? How are you finding the writing?

I would love an au pair but have no space and I think I might get a bit claustra with someone else around....

Hi notremotely! Yes, the au pair does make things feel a bit crowded on rare occasions, but since DH seems to be away most of the time, it's just a bit like having a really tidy houseguest who does the children's laundry, walks the dog and eats with me in the evenings. I think I got very lucky in the au pair lottery though, she's fab

My PhD is in psychology - have carried out a series of studies, including one big longitudinal one, into children's diet, BMI, eating attitudes, body image and anxiety in effort to clarify how girls aged 7-11 relate to their body and food habits. Have got quite a lot of interesting findings.

However, how am I finding the writing? A bit like Chinese water torture ... drop by drop it erodes my sanity. Okay, maybe a bit melodramatic, but it seems I'm too good at procrastinating and too bad at saying no to teaching and marking. Have about three / four chapters sorted out - almost - and about 6 to go although bits of those are ready too. Just trying to generate the courage to show some parts of it to my supervisor (who, usefully, is retiring this August).

Aasaaaaaaargh ...

What are you studying? From what you said above, you also are in the 'home stretch' of the PhD process...

PS - and forgot to mention, feeling the pressure to publish (would demand that I actually found the time to finish the papers I've started) and/or get work accepted at big conferences etc. but cannot bloody travel away from home for even a night due to DH absence and thus feel that will never get job, being forced instead to beg on the streets with a cardboard sign 'will do research for food'.

I'm in psychology too! I'm looking at young adults understanding and experience of living with a life limiting condition so I have had to read up on palliative care and various medical terms before using the hospice as a base to interview the young adjust and sone of their parents... I have so much transcribing abc analysis to do and trying to get sorted for publishing? Jeez I wish I could! I am so conscious of the need to get out there too but dh freaks if he has to look after dd (15 months) for more than 4-6 hours! Need to work on that!

Procrastination is my nemesis too... At the moment I an decluttering! It's great for the house and my soul I guess but I need to sit down and write!!

I reckon I'll get a job in tescos on the tills after this! Lol

Just a lurker. A few years on from the PhD and an academic now with a 8mo LO. the pressure to publish is a pain to handle. and to attend conferences and network and be known etc is even harder. however a lot of conferences are now child friendly..and you could actually attend without feeling at a loss of what to do with baby.
alternatively you could send out stuff and should your paper/ abstract be selected in a panel, you could make a ppt and send it across and some one else can present it on your behalf. I have done that before twice (could not travel due to high risk pregnancy) and was feeling quite upset about being pushed off the world of the 'thinking' because of to-be-mum status.

You have my sympathies for the writing process..oh boy..it was like each word of each section of each chapter was physically pulled out of me. Writing is painful..but then having a good Phd supervisor makes a HUGE difference.

I dont know if what I have written here makes sense... but the PhD was the hardest thing i had ever done, till i got pregnant and gave birth! and then I thought i would gladly write 3-4 more dissertations rather than have a 3 day labour with a c-sec to top it off! Argh!

Ah yes, the need for a good supervisor. Be warned anyone about to take on a phd! (Bitter ? Me?)

Argh, wrote massive post then lost it. Gist:

Hi, notremotely ! Nice to meet a fellow psychologist ... all my officemates are first years and so are not yet really Feeling the Fear.

Mamattoo - thanks for reminding us that there is indeed life beyond the end of the thesis.

Sorry to post and run but need to finish abstract and send off to conference organiser before deadline. Praying that I get at least a poster slot!

Anyone got top tips for finding peace & quiet and not being distracted by husband & LO at home?
My Uni is 2-3 hrs away so in time & money it's tricky to get to. Where else could I work do you reckon? The local library is pretty small though it does have a couple of dining-size tables to work at... Hmmm....

Hi frozen - yeah totally feeling the fear an the post-doc job search gloom!! Arghhhh

Miffy - good idea re local library, just avoid toddler sessions! Is there a uni closer to you! You could use the scopus scheme where you can access other uni libraries and it may be quieter.. Otherwise perhaps a coffee shop (could get expensive) or do you know anyone who works who would let you use their house during the day? Also if your phd I health related you could get access to the library at the local hospital....

Good luck!

Ooh thanks NRIF Where I live there are tons of coffee shops... with wifi and the like but why must places like starbucks always have such loud music?!

There is a local uni, I will investigate the scopus scheme that's a great idea thanks :D

Just checked it out - it's sconul for future reference. scopus is something academic also but not the same thing :)

Ah yes! Sconul! I have a card but never used it yet!

Miffy I work in Costa coffee in my town quite often. I found it the best place through trial and error - it has the quiet murmur of conversation, no loud music and big tables. In contrast Starbucks plays Jazz very loudly and the local library is full of people on the computers catching up on facebook!

I'm also a PhD student on the 'final' stretch - that is funding runs out in September, seems little chance of getting a proper job in current climate so am very worried about money, as I'm single with 3 teens and whilst they see their father regularly he does not contribute financially.

Whilst teens should be easier than toddlers, because I'm mainly at home no-one understands that this is work and constantly interrupts, expects me to ferry them around etc so half term has been tough, and I'm hoping to get a draft of my lit review ready for 7th March and also have marking I have to do this week! What has made me really cross this week was that ex-h was on holiday all week and did not offer to have kids more than usual at all! I'd like a holiday too but no chance this year.

On the other hand, I love doing the PhD, the opportunity to spend the day reading and writing is heaven

Hi socy, it is so frustrating when others don't see this as a job even though we are paid for it!!

Good luck with the writing, and I know what you mean about the job prospects, thats starting to worry me too! What's your phd in?