Searching for fellow PhD students

[youngblowfish]

Hello,

I find myself badly in need of company as a newly pregnant PhD student. I am about to start my second year and, all being well, I should be 12 weeks by the beginning of October.

Are there any pregnant/parents PhD students out there? I could really do with a thesis writing support thread and it would be lovely to chat to people who are in a similar position.

thanks dotty... I do have a timer and use it for really only for housework but I have been tempted to use it for writing... think I might dig it out this week!

I am happy with a good enough approach but one of my supervisors seems to want it perfect! its so frustrating...

I've just ordered that book, it looks like it might be of some use, although this could be just another way to procrastinate!

Have just discovered this link, I'm really glad I am not the only one in this crazy situation. I got pregnant at thebeginning of the third year of my PhD and had to stop immediately because I work in a chemical lab. This meant I had to take all of my maternity leave before my daughter was born. I couldn't get any work done during the pregnancy because I spent most of it in hospital. I now have 9 months to write my thesis. Fortunately my daughter is really placid and sleeps a lot so I'm able to get several hours of work in a day even though she is only 10 weeks old. I don't really want to put her into a nursery so young so if anyone has any tips on balancing thesis writing and small baby they would be gratefully received!

Hi Violet, congratulations on your baby! And what a bummer that you had to take all your maternity leave while pregnant!!

I am amazed you can write at all this soon after the birth, i was so tired and fuzzy headed that i needed the 4 months after the birth to just catch up on sleep while she napped!

My dd is now 2 and was pretty much right in the middle of my PhD, but i also have a 12 year old ds and a 16 year old dsd who is now living with us full time. I think the key is planning and organising and keeping in mind that the end is near!!! Good luck

Violet - hello and congratulations. That sounds like a hard situation. My only advice is going to be really negative, but is meant to be helpful. (sorry). In my experience, babies can suddenly stop being placid and sleep can go to pot (mine were never exactly placid, but definitely had better phases which then got worse). So do make the most of the time you've got now, and don't assume that the naps will stay as good. Hope for your sake they do, though - and I'm in awe of your being able to string a sentence together at this stage. If it does get harder to work with your daughter around, maybe you'll be able to think about just a day a week's childcare when she's a little bit bigger - and you might find a CM if you're not keen on a nursery for a baby. One thing I have found about combining children and study is that it concentrates the mind wonderfully, and you might be amazed how much you could get done in a small slot of childcare. Good luck.

AWOS - hope you like the Burkemann book (though you're right - it could just be procrastination in itself!)

How is everyone this week? I'm just back from an exhausting trip to a seminar in Estonia. I went with my supervisor and it took a solid 18 hours travelling each way for a 2 day seminar that (tbh) wasn't all that relevant. But it was good to do something completely different, my paper went quite well and I took away a few good insights. And in the four days I was gone, DH handled sorting out hair cuts for the DDs (including DD2 deciding she wanted her long hair cutting into a short bob. She's 4 and looks fantastic - she's a girl who knows her own mind), two parties, cake baking and ballet exams. Thus confounding a whole load of stereotypes in a very positive way. (I am taking the day off to recover and sort out the house/Christmas stuff, though!)

Happy new year, everyone - what's new? I am in the process of getting my ethics review sorted out and just yesterday embarked on a task of going through an archive which has more relevant stuff than I'd anticipated - great in one way, but looks like being a MUCH bigger task than I'd thought. May have to be more selective. Am also running on the Couch to 5k thread and trying to get into a New Year, New You frame of mind, though not feeling at my most positive, truth be told.

Hi there
I'm sort of in the same boat! I go on maternity leave from my PhD on 1st June (due date 4th June! yikes) at which point I'll be 18 months in........The pressure's on to get fieldwork (archaeology) done now before I get too big, heavy and cumbersome. I just really hope that I can find the motivation to go back to it all after DC is born... How did anyone else find getting back to work after the baby?

Can I join in please?

15 years out of academia, started full time phd when DD was 6 months old, now a year in and struggling to push forward fieldwork. Working in industry we use dot get a brief, do the work, go to user testing, write up supporting documentation all the time establishing new contracts, wrap up, hand over, jobs a good un. But I feel like I am constanty treading water to find out what I need to do, forms to fill in, surveys to design etc.

And I desperately desperately want another child.

I found going back really hard after DD2; started phD when Ds1 was nearly 1 and was desperate to get out of the house! DD2 born around the and of my 2nd year. I took 9 months off. I think it took 6 months after return the 2nd time to ratchet my brain up to proper functioning (I'm 60% time, so maybe that's 3 months for a full timer...). If I'm honest, I'm not sure my heart has been truly in it ever since DD2 was born. But I've got the work done (now just about writing up, irggggggggggg) and in some ways, a PhD has been a better place to be hiding out with young DC than a "real" job. I have an accommodating supervisor, who doesn't mind where/ when I do the work as long as it gets done, so do a lot evenings and weekends and am always there for bedtime/ starting school/ sick children (there are 2 large gaps in my lab book gthat say "experiment abandoned due to chicken pox. Starting again...")
Slowburner: there's never a good time to have another child, there's just the right time for you and DP, but on a practical note, find out how you'll stand with your funding body and the university if you do get pg.

wearymum200 I have already checked and I get 6 months statutory maternity pay. My sup would be unimpressed, that I can tell, but to be fair I love my family more than the phd anyway! And many of my contemporaries are slaves to the phd but don't seem to achieve much, I do 4 days 9-5 a week and get more done than them, I am also older and maybe not cut out for the academic politics.

Hello everyone - am finding days working at home really hard at the moment. Finding it really tricky to keep focused, especially on short days - like today - back from school run at 9am, need to go out to get them at 2.45, and in between fit in a run, ice permitting, and hoover/tidy a bit as DD1 having a friend to play and the house is a tip. My pattern is 3 long days, with the DDs at a CMs or with DH after school and 2 short ones, but the short ones keep getting swallowed up by domesticity and distraction. DH is super busy at work and working most evenings, which doesn't help.

On the plus side, I did my first interview for my research last week (there's an oral history component to what I'm doing) which went really well, so I feel enthused about that, and I have just had a paper accepted for a big international conference in the States this summer - now need to investigate funding and open negotiations about how I can manage to leave everyone for a week.

Hi everyone,
It's good to hear people's experiences... and hear about the pros and cons. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and halfway through my PhD, though tbh I'm probably a bit behind. I was hoping to collect my data before the due date but unfortunately just couldn't arrange it in time, so will have to do this afterwards, argh. I'm looking to take 6 months off on maternity (luckily my studentship covers this), then get back to it. I'd really like to go back full time as otherwise money will be pretty tight, but I'm just not sure if it's going to be possible. I can't really imagine what'll be like as this is my first. Anyway, thought I'd say hello!

Hello ketula - not looked on here for a while as it had all gone a bit quiet. Sorry not to reply sooner - but all the best with your imminent new arrival. As to whether it's possible to go back full-time, I think this largely depends on whether you feel you can leave your DC with a CM/nursery five days a week. I went back 3 days a week (work then, not study) when DD1 was 8 months old, and would have felt guilty at leaving her 5 days, but 3 was a OK compromise for me. But others do it, of course. If your LO sleeps well during the day, you could possibly manage to get quite a bit of work done on days at home with him/her - and if they sleep at night, you might have the energy for work in the evenings. So you might be able to manage 'FT' study with PT childcare. But I do think it's one of those things that's hard to predict ahead of time. So enjoy the ML and don't worry about it for a bit.