Calling all Attachment parents

[MummyBerryJuice]

So I totally buy into attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping and don't think that we could cope with our high-need DS (7.5 months) if we didn't babywear etc but I'm coming under increasing pressure to resort to a more 'traditional' form of parenting. DH and I are happy ( if exhausted) but I sometimes feel my resolve faltering when DS has had a particularly demanding day/night. It often only takes a quick read of the Sears website or some such to reaffirm my beliefs.

I don't know any other AP in rl so it would be great to have a support type thread here.

All contributors welcome

pookamoo ds is exactly the same, the miute we ge through the door!
I've put off carrying him on my back, I'm nervous about it though know there's no reason to be!
Ds had his last lotof jabs today til he's a year old, he's not a happy bunny

I've got an Ellaroo sling - just a long strip of fabric TBH and I've used that as a back sling.

I found that if I got it right, it was the most comfortable way to wear DD I'd tried to date. However, it is also really fiddly to put on, I had instructions with the sling which I followed but still didn't always get it to feel right and if DD is wriggly it's impossible. Although she has never fallen out or slipped but I always felt she could potentially slip out of the bottom so it makes me a bit nervous sometimes. Think that might just be parnoia though.

In terms of sleep, I didn't rate it for sleeping. I could feel when DD dropped of as she would sort of slump into the sling and her weight would go slightly to the side as her head relaxed. But unlike the front carry, there is no way to put fabric over her head to support her so she sort of sagged in the sling which was uncomfortable and gave me a sort of 'unstable' feeling.

I'm going to persevere with the back sling as DD really enjoys being able to see out and it is sooo comfy when it's right but I wouldn't recomend it as a sleeping aid personally.

pookamoo - thank you, I'm just starting to get over her fall (DD has long forgotten ). I'm thinking of trying swaddling her tonight to see if she is more settled in bed. She is being a little sod at the moment at night, I wouldn't mind if she was waking for milk so much but she wakes up every two hours wanting to thrash about and boot me in the stomach and pull my hair for half an hour . I think a swaddle might help keep her settled; I was thinking she's a bit big for swaddling (nearly 7 months) but frankly I was fantasising about CC at 4am so I'm willing to try anything non-confrontational with her.

Fingers crossed this helps

Just saying hi, what a lovely thread. Can relate to lots of this, have 13 mth bf on demand (except when I'm at work part time) blwed, and still co sleeping. Mostly slung him until he got very heavy at around 6 mths, still do when I can. Don't admit this in rl any more of course, or that he doesn't sleep through. I think it's just the way he is, doesn't worry me too much though. Someone was asking re naps - ds always napped in the day - or rather often didn't - generally in our arms/sling but also in pram latterly and never had regular times until a few weeks ago when he suddenly started sleeping between 12&2 for one to two hours. It's amazing, we finally have a sort of day plan and entirely led by him. Lovely that there are other ap people out there. We also did it accidentally, after advice from bf counsellor when establishing bf.

hey southwestwhippet totally relate to your scare, on Saturday ds fell asleep on me and i eased him off me onto the sofa so i had two hands to type... and then he rolled off . Felt terrible, its the first fall he's had, and I am now scared about the bed thing too, what if he falls off when he wakes up in the morning and he is playing [usually by batting my face!] whilst I try and grab a few more minutes sleep...

southwest my DS is also a little wriggly bugger on a good night he wakes up 2/3 times for milk/sucking but on a bad night (of which there are far more) he squirms and kicks me all night long. It is exhausting but if I don't bring him into bed with me he just wakes really frequently and I have to get up then so at lest I can stay lying down IYSWIM?

Don't have any advice to offer though. Just commiserations.

He's been asleep in his Amby since 8pm now and hasn't woken up yet so maybe he will sleep through tonight.

Morning all, had a good night (well, positive step forward night anyway) with DD last night. After she had had her full evening feed off both sides, I settled her in her cot for the evening drowsy but AWAKE and gently patted and soothed her until she fell asleep. She did a bit of winging and one or two single 'shouts' but went off really peacefully after about half an hour.

I had her cot next to my bed so instead of bringing her into bed at my bed time I left her in her cot. She slept until nearly 2. Then I bought her into bed for a feed and cuddle, dozed with her for an hour then put her back in her cot (this was a brave new step for us LOL). She slept until 4 then I tried something really new of not getting her up and out of her cot, just patting and shushing. Well she wriggled and kicked and chatted for about an hour with the occasioual whinge. But at about 5 she actually cried so I picked her up straight away, swaddled her really tight in a big sheet and fed her all snuggled up with her.

She did try to kick and wriggle but with the swaddle and me putting my leg over her lower legs she was pretty much trapped LOL. So she quickly went to sleep. And we both slept til 8:30

I think the swaddle really helped her to get settled and I'm pleased that she feels comfortable going into her cot for parts of the night although I don't think I'll bother going through the hour of cot-wriggling next time, I'll just go straight to the swaddle. Fingers crossed this will help us, feeling rather more positive today

How was everyone elses night?

After a few days of 6 hrs sleep, ds went back to waking every 2 hrs & I end up taking him from the hammock to my bed at around 5am then dozing & feeding on tap... would be nice except am so tired I need a bit more sleep.

Does anyone else think that their baby wakes more if they're cosleeping with their noses a couple of cm away from the boob?

He seems to doze & then rootle for my nipple just for comfort/ a quick nibble. It's getting kind of irritating as I have to sleep in a really uncomfortable position & if I move whilst dozing he ll scratch & nibble me until h le can find a nipple!

Ds still wakes every 2/3 hours, he's started kicking me quite a bit too. Havn't got and can't afford a hammock though so not really got any other options. I think he sleeps better with me right up close to him, if he stirs he'll fling his arms about and if he can't feel me he'll wake up screaming so we'll have to stay as we are I think.
He's five months next week so beginning to look forward to weaning, I know not yet but I'm thinking about it now. Can anyone tell me if at five months their dc were reaching and picking things up? Putting things in thier mouth? Ds shows no signs of this at all so I'll just have to hope in the next month he starts to show an interest. He was nearly six weeks early sso don't know if thats a factor?
At the moment he trying very hard to roll from his back to his stomach and getting frustrated when he can't! Also trying to sit up on his own. Though still not really interested in anything but breast now!

DarkandStormy the six weeks are definitely a factor. Is his corrected age 5 months or 3-and-a-half? You should be looking at his milestone interns of his corrected age. My DS spent about 2.5monts in frustration trying to roll over. He started trying around 11 weeks and didn't manage until about 22 weeks. So hopefully yours will manage earlier

Yay for the swaddling!
I think I have a photo of DD swaddled at 6 months, just for fun, but we moved onto sleeping bags around then. They keep them warm but it doesn't stop the wriggling in the same way a swaddle does
Having said that, she has just gone back into a sleeping bag the last couple of nights as it has been much colder, she seems to like being wrapped up.

Must persevere with the back carry. I was demonstrating a wrap sling on Tuesday for some pregnant ladies at our bf support group, and DD just loved it, it reminded me we should do it more often for the fun of it if nothing else!

Morning, he's 2 1/2 months corrected age, 5 months old. Hopefully he'll show an interest in picking things up at 6 months or blw is going to be hard work!
I know he'll get the hang of rolling, personally I don't mind as he's at least where I put him when I nip to the toilet right now! But it's frusrating for him, he just wants to be up and doing everything and he wants it right now!
He's a funny one, always hated swaddling, don't know if becuase he was early he never got scrunched up. Will have to try the back sling too.

DarkandStormy have you read Gill Rapley's book on BLW? I think that she recommends against BLW for preemies as they're development follows their corrected age but they may need more nutrients? I'm not sure though but why don't you post a thread here and hopefully Aitch will be around to give some advice. She is very knowledgeable about BLW!

On the swaddling note - my DS HATED swaddling. It was really difficult because he did (and still does actually) keep waking himself up with wriggling and startles but we've just learnt to live with it!

Thanks MBJ have asked, will be pretty gutted if we can't but nevermind.

Hello, how is everyone? Don't think we can do true blw because he was early but hopefully we'll move on to that as soon as he's able and you never know it might all come together in the next month!
How is everyone? Getting some sleep? Ds had been up since 5am today, my face literally looks like this > but he's asleep now, just didn't want to sleep in bed it seems!

Terrible night! Seems to be getting worse. Huge association between bf and sleep (well boob and sleep to be exact as he is not hungry).

Waking many times, only sleeps while feeding etc It is a bit unsustainable. Any ideas greatly welcomed.

I am too tired :(

Marsha have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? I haven't bt I have heard very good reports about it. Maybe it would give you some ideas?

Here it is

Thanks MBJ will check it out.

Plus that is weird I did a : ( face as not really sad, just tired and mn changed it for me. Did not know it did that!

Hope everyone's doing well.
Is anyone an AP single parent?

Hi all
How are you doing?
My friend (also an AP fan) has lent me her Ergo Baby Carrier for next weekend as DH, DD and I are going away camping. I have tried it out and I love love it, and so does DD. We have always used a karime but I am not too confident with it on my back, DH has a big frame backpack for her, but it's too long for me as I am a shortie. Hurrah for babywearing, no buggy to push across the field

Sorry to hear you are struggling marsha, if it helps at all (probably won't) This Too Shall Pass... the mantra for all parents, I think!

Hi pookamoo thanks!

One good thing about a slowish thread is that by the time it comes up again things have most certainly changed/improved .

Ds is only having one good nap a day now and it is really helping. Plus his appetite is bigger. So even though he still wakes it is a lot better. Yahoo!

How is everyone doing?

Hi all. Good to hear everyone is well new have had a busy week and DS has caught a bug and isn't Well. Had high temperature GP can't find anything though. So hopefully ok.

Am very worried though as he ended up in hospital 3 months ago with a high fever as his arms and legs went blue. It was very scary . Keeping him doses with paracetamol and ibuprofen and hoping he'll be better soon.

Hi all - I would loosely describe myself as AP/continuum too. DS is 23 months and still breastfeeding, co sleeping, I still use a sling (though he is too heavy to sleep in it now so if I think he's likely to sleep I take the pushchair). I use gentle/noncoercive discipline and tend to let him judge his own risks etc.

Re sleeping in a back carry, if you carry a scarf (square type rather than long knitted thing) with you you can tie it around their head when they fall asleep and it supports them. If they are slumping when asleep though it probably isn't tight enough. Not so much a problem for an older baby, but for a young baby this is bad as it can affect their oxygen saturations.

Also - hate to be the voice of doom! - but DS has fallen out of bed when I was sleeping with him. Best thing to do is get a bed guard on one side of the bed and never have them on the other side than you, although admittedly DS has only ever fallen out when he was near the edge, slightly away from me, and I was particularly tired. He has a bedside cot so that acts as a bed guard.

However saying that, he's never been harmed from falling out of bed and he's done it three times. I tend to put him to bed on the sofa some nights too and just put one of the big cushions on the floor, he nearly always rolls off but because it's a soft landing, he just stays asleep! So if you have any spare cushions or pillows, surround the bed with them and if he does ever fall out he should be fine.

Hi BertieBotts

Sorry to hear your ds isn't well MBJ, how is he feeling now?

Do you think excessive um carrying slows down the desire to crawl? (I read it on the net somewhere and felt a bit silly as I really do carry ds a lot).

Hi Bertie. Thanks for the advice. I have been thinking that it s getting more and more likely that DS will fall out of the bed as he is becoming mre wriggly at night. Will definitely take some precautions.

Thanks Marsha. He seems to be a bit better. More cheery but sleeping has gone out the window [yawn] . I still carry DS a lt (more now that he is poorly) but I can put him down for longer periods and he gets on with entertaining himself for 10-15mins. It is a BIG relief.

We're due to go to Lndon tomorrow. So fingers crossed he is better in the morning