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Parenting

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Original poster

Saw a baby being force fed earlier. I felt close to tears. Awful to watch.

138 replies

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 20:22

I know some of you will say 'mind your own business' but this was really awful to see.

I was at the local farm. In the soft play with my baby. At a table near to me a lady was feeding a baby. He looked about 9/10 months old. Think it was beans from her jacket potato. She was spooning it in for him. Some mouthfulls he was taking fine. But she was also poking it in when he was clamping his mouth shut, turning his face away and pushing her hand away with his little hand.

She continued trying to get the spoon in his mmouth. Then she actually held his arm down with her hand so he couldn't try and stop her. I wanted to go over and say something like 'surely he's telling you he doesn't want anymore'

After that she was flapping a napkin in his face to distract him so she could get some more food in.

Then she tipped his head back and held his forehead and spooned more in. I was close to tears for this poor boy.

Thankfully after that she stopped and ate her lunch and he had some cheddars to feed himself from his highchair , and drunk his drink, feeding himself. He looked much happier.

Then I saw him playing in the soft play and was happy.

Anyway I know I am probably judging but imo there was no justification for this treatment. Not sure why I'm posting, maybe to see if others would feel sad about like this I did. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive....

OP posts:

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 20:27

Meant 'saw him playing in the soft play and he was happy'

OP posts:

lolalotta · 02/08/2010 20:27

Well, It made me sad just reading your post, I would have hated to have seen it, I think I would have found it upsetting too!

thisisyesterday · 02/08/2010 20:30

no you aren't over sensitive it's a horrid, horrid way to treat a child

beware though, there was a thread similar to this before and the OP got slated becaue the mum may have "issues" about the baby's weight (perhaps slow to gain? etc etc)

that, IMO, is no excuse for force-feeding a child tho

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 20:33

No idea about the weight. But he looked very lovely and squishy to me!

OP posts:

sharon137 · 02/08/2010 21:19

I don't know... was he crying etc? Sometimes my DS take a bit of persuading halfway through his food, but it's because he is distracted, looking round - but if I stop feeding him he cries, so he is still hungry.. I don't jam the spoon in, but hold it near his mouth til he remembers it is there... Also, when he is overexcited and flapping about (happily, not crying, obv - if he cries I stop straightaway) I hold his little hands otherwise the food goes everywhere!
Maybe this is what she was doing??

onedeadbadger · 02/08/2010 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skidoodly · 02/08/2010 21:24

"Then she tipped his head back and held his forehead and spooned more in"

What?!

No she didn't.

She tipped his head back and stuck a spoon full of food into his mouth?

I don't believe you.

A child could so easily choke if you did that.

Really OP? I just can't imagine anyone doing that to a person, except maybe to get them to take medicine or something and even then only as a last resort.

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 21:26

He wasn't crying. He looked like he had had enough. He was obviously clamping his mouth shut and turning away. Pushing her away. Not in a playful way. In a ' I don't want this food way'

And maybe he was wanting to see what was going on. Imo she should have stopped the meal, got him out and let him play. Or at least turned the high chair round so he could see the other babies. While she 'fed' him, or just let him to watch.

OP posts:

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 21:28

skidoodly yes she did.

It was shocking.

OP posts:

onedeadbadger · 02/08/2010 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockbird · 02/08/2010 21:31

It does sound awful and if it really is the case that she was forcing the food into him then I would judge furiously. They might be little but they are still entitled to make their feelings known.

If that sounds like you onedeadbadger then I would judge you too. Sounds like a horrid way to treat your children, but hey, as long as they slept better for you and are slim that's ok then

Acanthus · 02/08/2010 21:32

Hmm but if he ate the cheddars does that mean he wasn't full?

Rockbird · 02/08/2010 21:32

The OP said she held his arms down and poked the spoon through his clamped lips, then tipped his head back and forced the spoon in. That isn't a happy baby being fed from a spoon.

onedeadbadger · 02/08/2010 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frasersmummy · 02/08/2010 21:33

Oh just awful.... imagine encouraging your child to eat something you are eating ..

Then encouraging the same child to feed himself and have a drink before going off to play

what a terrible mother

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 21:35

He ate his cheddars because he wanted them. He didn't want what she was feeding him.

He might not have been too full for the beans but ight have just not wanted them.

Onebat he wasn't happy whilst he was pushing her away. Shutting his mouth. You can be unhappy and not actually be crying.
Of course I would not be shocked seeing a baby being spoonfed if he was happily opening his mouth and wanting the food.

OP posts:

onedeadbadger · 02/08/2010 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 21:36

Rockbird that is exactly what happened.

OP posts:

onedeadbadger · 02/08/2010 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharon137 · 02/08/2010 21:38

I agree with those who say it sounds like she was just trying to encourage him... he clearly wasn't full, and really, thinking she should have let him play is a bit silly... She let him play afterwards, and if he wasn't crying and seemed happy ... I have to say I dont see the problem and why it is so awful...

Al1son · 02/08/2010 21:39

Sounds horrible. It could be a bit of a vicious circle in that she's all wound up because he won't eat much and he's refusing it because it's such an unpleasant experience. It is a shame to see it and I think she'll get it back in spades as he gets older because he'll begin to win the battle of wills in the end.

I would have felt sad and helpless watching that too but she could well be a good mum whose at the end of her tether and can't see the long term effects of her actions.

Ceebee74 · 02/08/2010 21:39

That does sound

Onedeadmother just curious as to how you would decide when your DC had had enough to ensure they weren't hungry IME even young babies are quite capable of letting you know when they have had enough food and I have never forced either of my DC to continue eating just because I thought they should eat more!

Original poster

princessProudmel · 02/08/2010 21:40

And yes, I think taking him out to play would have been far better in this situation. He had been fed loads of food. Spoonfull after spoonfull.Far better to be relaxed about eating, amounts and mealtimes imo.
Alo he was at soft play , not in a normal situation. Surely at picnics, parties, days out your children are a little relaxed with their eating?

OP posts:

sharon137 · 02/08/2010 21:41

But he hadn't had enough food - he kept eating cheddar things afterwards so maybe she wanted him to have something healthier?

mamatomany · 02/08/2010 21:41

Yes but mine want chocolate hobnobs and not veggies so should i let them have them just because making them sit at the table until they've had three spoonfuls is cruel ?
Sometimes you have to hold arms down because they wave them around like a windmill and cover you both in food.

How old is your baby, just out of interest ?

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