The worst thing. Dd said to me - you are always busy mummy.

[timeisshort]

and i am.
She said i dont have time to play with her.
And i dont.

I dont know how to fix this.

Im a single parent and i work part time. We leave the house at 8.10 am and get home just after 3. A quick dog walk, and small amount of housework and its 4.30.
I then have to think about tea, watering the garden, bathing, bed time for 7pm.
I have one day off in the week and its usually for housework/errands/stuff i need to do and hopefully something fun for DD and us together, like a day out or something. Maybe 1 in 4 times actually. The weekends i have her we tend to hang around the house. But im usually doing gardening, or housestuff again.

I just dont seem to have time. i want to play with her, to just sit down and do lego for hours. But after a short time i think, god, ive got this this and this to do.

its all very well to say leave it, but i cant, if i dont do it noone else will and its a small house and goes to pot really quicky if i dont do the day to day stuff.

So, how do i make more time for her?

[pralinegirl]

timeisshort, you sound fantastic. I work and have a husband to share childcare/chores with and I don't do half what you do. But I think they say things at that age (mine now nearly 7)without realising how very much it will hurt, or wanting to get at you a little, especially girls, but not knowing how much it will hurt. We used to have a cleaner and now can't afford it. I am thinking again about it though. I would say one thing though, I agree with the lady who said we never get the time back, I had a big trauma a few years ago and now if my house is a mess, it sort of seems less important. I love Star Wars, but give me Peppa Pig and ponies and I'd go crazy. Woman, you're doing great. My best friend lost her dad when she was really little and she is so strong and so close to her mum. You're her role model and you're fab.

[taffetacatski]

haven't read all the posts, but loved the Grandma's post about a clear pathway to the stairs and kitchen!

sounds like you are doing just great and IMO playing with your DD plenty enough. I haven't played nearly as much with my DD as I did with my elder DS. she is much more self sufficient and doesn't ask all the time, unlike DS. now this could be because thats the way she is, or because I've not raised her expectation. some children need more external input.

i agree with megancleo - friends over to play more often if possible may take a bit of pressure/feelings of guilt off you.

[merrymouse]

I don't know how old your daughter is, but in my experience children often say "you always do xyz" or "you never do abc" when, because they don't have much concept of time, they are talking about what is happening right now. E.g.

"why aren't we getting an ice cream at the park, we ALWAYS get an ice cream at the park, when they happened to get an ice cream yesterday",

or, on the other hand,

"why can't we get an ice cream, we NEVER have ice cream", when they have been living on an ice cream diet for three days.

[MammyG]

OP I have finished reading this and just feel like such a crap parent! Your daughter has a lovely life and def gets the best of you. I feel sorry for my two (third on the way) having read all the lovely things you do together. I have a full time job, DH works opposite hours to me so we are either at work or alone with children. I have to do an hour or two paperwork most evenings after the kids are gone to bed and cant afford a cleaner etc. So all my housework laundry etc has to be done at the weekend. Most of the time Im just trying to keep my cool. Tired and exhausted is a constant state of being. I thought I was doing a good job just hiding the stress from the boys and doing whatever nice things I can fit in. I dont play with them per se. we try to make day to day things fun and have as many outings as we can. other than that its the usual painting playdough etc
You are doing a wonderful job. I dont think playing etc needs to be a daily activity as long as its fairly regular and you both enjoy it. You should read back over this thread and maybe see yourself in a different light. Seems to me you are superwoman and your daughter is a very lucky girl.

[timeisshort]

thank you.

Im far from superwoman though. if i were it would be much easier to do it all.

I did manage a bit of playing yesterday. Playmobile again, and a kerplunk game she wanted to do. so that on top of the cake/picnic making. Plus almost 4 hours in park and at home with her friend.
I did do some house work/weeding/digging up potatoes which she loved doing/tax credits renewal as well. AND i still went out last night.

Thinking about it, and from what everyone is saying, im not the only one without lots of time to actually play with her. So that makes me feel a little better.

[LadyBiscuit]

pinkpanettone - I'm sorry if you thought I was being unsupportive. That really wasn't my intention. I was trying (and failing by the looks of things) to say that really you don't have to keep the house spotless and that the OP originally said that they spent every weekend hanging around the house. So I suggested they go out and then she said she did!

I don't take my DS swimming but of course I cook food for him and give him a bath. It's just that those bits aren't the focus of our weekend.

I think that the OP is giving herself a really hard time and all I was trying to say is that I think she's putting herself under immense pressure. Just the thought of going out three nights a week makes me feel tired