The things kids say 2

[anais]

I got tired of waiting for the old thread to load so I thought I'd start a new one...

Little one's decided to go out and play in the garden in the rain this afternoon. They got on their jackets, ds got on his wellies and went running outside, dd, who hadn't got her boots on yet called after him to wait because she hadn't got her "bossy boots" on yet!

We were in a charity shop last week and whilst I was looking at the books, the kids dived into the toy boxes. I didn't know where to look when dd (nearly 3) yells out (at full volume, so the whole shop could hear) "Look, Mummy, look a cock" (she meant a cockerel!)

While doing 4 year-old dd2's hair the other day, she said "don't do it like that, Mum, or I'll look like a dork"! I think she's been watching Cartoon Network too much!

My nephew at his 4th birthday party - he blew out the candles on his cake and everyone told him to make a wish ..... we all stood there with baited breath ... and he said "I wish you would all go home".

Whilst walking up to the playgroup on Monday dd (aged 2.11) said, "mammy, why does everyone think i'm a lunatic?" then pulled her wooly hat down to her chin to "keep the sun out of my eyes"!!!! I am convinced she'll be an actress

dd (4 and a half) in John Lewis cafeteria last Friday afternoon, having lovely tea with mummy. She looks around and sees a few tables of adults having coffee, with no children with them. Thinks about it and asks me loudly: 'Why don't these people have children with them?' I say 'I don't know', and she adds 'Do you think the devil has taken them?' Cringe....... Where did she get that from???

dd1: "do you think Betty (her great grandmother who's 100) wears knickers?" (we hadn't been talking about Betty)
me: "probably"
dd1: "I think they're Snow White ones"

My 17 month old dd came up behind me yesterday when I was naked and stuck her head through my legs (fave game at the moment), grabbed a handful of pubes and shouted "wee wee, wee wee" laughing in a deranged way. I only hear the first one due to my screams......

My little boy (2.6) was making himself a beard with Bubblebath. When I asked who has a beard he said "Saddam Hussein" when I asked him where saddam Hussein lives he said "in the naughty corner" That's what happens when your parents are journalists with the TV on all them time.....

DS (loudly in Tescos): What are those, Mummy?
Me: They're hot cross buns, love.
DS (shaking his head in his most patronising voice possible): No Mummy, they're not hot, they're COLD!

Dd (4 and a half) in the school playground:
little boy 'F' comes up to her, gives her a cuddle and kisses and says to her: 'Lauren I missed you so much!' (she was away the day before).
Lauren replies: 'well I missed 'L' (her boyfriend..... who by the way was watching all this from the other side of the (small) playground, looking displeased!!!
treat'em mean to keep 'em keen..... The boyfriend presented her with a very sweet valentine present on Monday though, and we now have to make a valentine card for him and give him a chocolate heart....
I can't wait for her to be a teenager......

My niece came to tell me yesterday she is expecting her 2nd baby in August, her ds1 said to her the day before, 'mummy open your mouth' 'why?' she said ' So I can look at the baby!' ahh.

My 3 year old nephew:

"Mummy I need to take my jumper off,,,,,,to look at my breasts!!!"

My friend told me this and I keep meaning to share it ... Whilst in Tescos her ds started playing up, shouting, being loud etc. Nothing would calm him down, so she told him he had to be quiet otherwise the "Tesco police" might tell him off. He then spent the rest of the shopping trip looking around for the "Tesco police" (friend told him it could be anyone as they don't have special uniforms!) She paid for her shopping and off she went. Just as they got to the door (past the security guard) her ds then shouts at the top of his voice "quick mummy, run, before the police come after us"!

DD aged 26 months, knows (because daddy told her) that the sound teddies make is "ra ra ra ra"

Standing outside her bedroom one afternoon while she was supposed to be sleeping, we heard this conversation.

Teddy "ra ra ra ra"
DD "Noooooo"
Teddy "ra ra ra ra"
DD "Nooooo"

I just LOVE the idea of her having an argument with teddy.

DS (aged 2.9) when dh was trying to wipe his nose.
No, thats my bogey!

I have a classic

I was putting DD to bed and I wasnt convinced she had been for a wee after brushing her teeth as Id gone out of the room....

Me "Did you have a wee"
DD "Yes Mummy"
Me "Are you sure? I didnt hear you"
DD "Yes Mummy I did"
Me "Swear?"
DD "Fucking Hell"

ROFL Ive never inwardly laughed sooo much - its hillarious how literally she takes everything

ROFL Beccarollover
Bet she was smirking too

DS1 's pre-school teacher told me she was in creases of laughter yesterday.

All kids were at the table having lunch. DS1 is offered more orange juice and says "Oooh, yes please - I LIKE orange juice - it makes my poo come out faster..."

Oh dear - didn't realise his early childhood bowel problems had left such an impression

Ds1 (6) was reading shop signs yesterday. I nearly wet myself when he said "Carphone Whorehouse"

When my daughter was about three, after washing her hair, I got the hair drier out and she begged me not to use the hoover on her head!

When ds2 gets upset, to the point of tears, we have a nice cuddle, and he says to me " kiss my tears away mummy". So I do .