The things kids say 2

[anais]

I got tired of waiting for the old thread to load so I thought I'd start a new one...

Little one's decided to go out and play in the garden in the rain this afternoon. They got on their jackets, ds got on his wellies and went running outside, dd, who hadn't got her boots on yet called after him to wait because she hadn't got her "bossy boots" on yet!

Listening to the Cinderella tape in the car for the hundredth time, we got to the bit where the prince says 'the lady this slipper fits is my one true love and I am visiting every house in search of her'. A wistful little voice from the back said - 'we don't live in Searchofher do we Mummy? We live in Caterham'

eemie!

My son stroked my neglected & somewhat furry underarms at the weekend and said 'Look, mama, it's moss" . Also, 'what's mummy's name?" "X" "& what's Daddy's name?" "Daddalo!"

My DS1 (almost five) was chewing on his jacket the other day, I said to him "Don't eat your coat" he said "It's alright I won't eat it all". Had me in stitches.

i was upstairs earlier today - probably on mumsnet - and dh and ds were downstairs...
dh shouted my name and then ds (only 16 months...) followed. DH sais it again and then ds!!!
He keeps shouting it now!!
I have a very easy to pronounce name...he isn't that much of a genius ...although he knows that we find it hilarious

don't know how i have missed this thread
just read it to myslef from the beginning and am crying with laughing!!
just woke ds up and hasd to re-dummy him

One of ds's regulars is "you're digging my head in"

Ds had a bit of wind a few weeks ago and dd (2 1/2) commented that he had a 'baked bean bottom' I have no clue where that came from - I have never mentioned the flatulent-effect of baked beans!

one of dd's favourites at the moment is
" you scared out of my life!"
also, whilst thinking very seriously about something,
"ang on a minute!"

when going to bed tonight my dd asked if she could have bangles for breakfast in the morning. It took me a moment but finally worked out that she meant Bagels. Aw sweet.

The other day ds asked me why I wear a bra, and I explained that it was to stop my breasts moving about too much and making me uncomfortable. He thought for a moment and responded, 'MY nipples are tightly fixed on.' Which he has since told several people - rather to their bemusement!

Dd's nursery have got some new fancy dress costumes - she told me she has been dressing up as a "Pissmas Cudding"!

Also one of the boys at nursery told her Father Christmas has "claws".

Me: "why can't the caterpillar fly?"
DS: "I don't know'
Me: "It's because he doesn't have any wings."
DS: "Father Christmas will bring him some."

Ds1, years ago, on seeing rugby on TV for the first time..

"It's like football....with fighting."

My friend's son, since a very early age, has always called Marks and Spencer "Marks n' spensive."

Very apt!

DD (almost 3 then) and granny were talking about birthdays and cakes and candles and granny was explaining that after blowing out your candles you made a wish. DD asked what's a wish (for granny's benefit) and granny took great delight explaining in detail all about how magical wishes were. When she'd finished granny said "What would you wish for?" and dd looked up into granny's face with her big blue eyes and said "I wish you shup-up". I don't know who was more horrified me or granny.

message withdrawn

Craftycat, your post reminded me of what dd calls rabbits - runny babbit's sooo cute

Okay, my child didn't say this, but I thought it was funny and couldn't resist sharing

A little girl at tumbletots today (aged between 2 - 3 years old?) said that Father Christmas wasn't coming this year because "granddad shot all the reindeer"!

Methinks a certain relative of hers has a very warped sense of humour

I was telling ds off this morning for crying early in the morning and waking us all up.

'It's not fair' he said.

I explained it was perfectly fair to object, and that as he is now 3 he shouldn't cry about every little thing.

He looked at me all angry, and said crossly, 'You don't want to be annoying people like this.'

My 14 year old when he was a wee tiny thing, pointed at a petrol leak on the road and exclaimed "Aww, a dead rainbow"!!
My family's favourite is of me at about 4, at my Auntie's house, snugly sat on her very expensive tapestry chair. Where I wet myself... Mum, horrified, said "What do you say to your Auntie" to which I replied "Auntie, I've weed on your chair"

My 14 year old when he was a wee tiny thing, pointed at a petrol leak on the road and exclaimed "Aww, a dead rainbow"!!
My family's favourite is of me at about 4, at my Auntie's house, snugly sat on her very expensive tapestry chair. Where I wet myself... Mum, horrified, said "What do you say to your Auntie" to which I replied "Auntie, I've weed on your chair"

I could've curled up and you know what tonight. Every december, year 5 at DD's school put on a concert in one of the local churches, as she is in year 5 now we went along, she was one of the narrators. One of the girls in dd's class came up to us and said hello to ds, can you imagine my horror when he turned round and instead of saying hello back, he said out loud, "She's evil!" (remember we're in church), I told him that he shouldn't say things like that, he then said to me "Well I don't like her".

i told my dd not to scratch herself (down there she had some sort of rash) so everytime she scratched i told her it was (errrr dirty) now everywhere we go she points at peoples groins and shouts very loudly errr dirty look mommmy bless her!!!

DS2 (aged 2) has recently got very interested in the difference between boys and girls and has noticed that he, DS1 and DH all have willies and mummy doesn't.

He looked at me thoughtfully the other night and suggested: "Daddy buy you a willy?"...

So that's their Christmas present for mummy sorted, then...

We're having a bit of a rubbish week so this exchange with ds (4) cheered me up:

Ds: I watched a really great programme at After-School Club today mum - it's called Sideboards.

Me: Really? What's it about?

Ds: Some little childs tell grown-ups dressed as robots what to do and the best robot wins them a prize

I think he means Cyborgs on ITV...

When my DF asked my 6yr old DD where santa comes from she said ' the north east '