The things kids say 2

[anais]

I got tired of waiting for the old thread to load so I thought I'd start a new one...

Little one's decided to go out and play in the garden in the rain this afternoon. They got on their jackets, ds got on his wellies and went running outside, dd, who hadn't got her boots on yet called after him to wait because she hadn't got her "bossy boots" on yet!

Now I rarely look at my best first thing in the morning and certainly at 30 wks pg I'm no Cindy Crawford.......

Sat Morning 9am sitting in Garden

Me: Your Wendy house needs to be tidied up today, it's in bits...

dd: Yes like you Mummy.....

DS (3) was misbehaving a bit before tea time last night, and after telling him off a couple of times I said "Would you like to go to your room?"

He said "No - but I'd like a biscuit."

Todays "Let's embarass Mummy" quote. At playgroup, three Mums and tots making arrangements to meet up. DS (21 months) in my arms balanced on one hip. He grabs hold of my jumper (admittedly a little low cut for PG) and in a very loud voice announces : "Oooooo Boobies One...two..three...!" Hope stunned silence was in admiration of his counting ability ......

My daughter recently went to her grandparents with her dad for a couple of days. They are currently in the process of extending their house and because grandpa has been doing it homself, so far its taken 18 months and still has a lot to be done.

My 6 year old niece was also staying at the house overnight. Grandpa keeps threatening to go and help at her school because he knows it winds her up

Grandpa said "When Ive finished doing the house I'll come help at your school"..

"no grandpa" said my niece..

to which my 7 year old said to her cousin "dont worry you'll probably have left school by then"!

Ds aged 4, ran up to nanna and announced that "Mommy put me in a slutty car in town today"

cue total silence as my mom and i looked at each other. She, imagining me and my wild girl friends cruising for men with the poor child in the car.

Me, finally realising what he meant - "sooty car" the 20p for a ride type.

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Ds aged 5, myself and his toy dog woof.

Me: "you better eat all those chips up, or woof will."
ds: (puzzled expression) "but his mouth doesnt open."
me: (trying a different approach) "well ok, he's asleep and you'll wake him up keep chatting instead of eating"
ds: (grinning smugly) "Mom, his eyes dont close."
After dinner conversation:
ds: "i was a pilot in my plane and woof was with me"
me: "was he your co-pilot?"
ds: (Sighs and looks at me sympathetically because im so stupid) "No mom, he was my dog."

I was driving and had ds1 age 10 with me
"Mum, in America, what's a freeway"
"its a motorway, sweetheart"
"no, its not"
"yes it is, its what Americans call a motorway"
"no, I don't mean that, In will and Grace last night, Grace was in bed with a man and a woman and she said 'I'm going to do this freeway if it kills me', so what's a freeway?"
silence from Mum then
"oh look over there, its a wedding!"

I just had to record this one - so cute - I just told ds (almost 5)he was gorgeous, he replies, "You're gorgeous too Mummy" awwww!

Last week we were having a conversation where he referred to "Fire exhausters" (instead of extinguishers (sp))

And dd (2) was telling her Gran that Mummy and ds were going camping, Gran asked her "Aren't you going with them?" and completely straight dd goes "No, I don't camp!" It was hilarious, dear little angel didn't know what we were all creased up for.

We have a couple of friends who are pg just now. Dd (6): Imagine if they have twins or even 3 babies!
Me (32): Do you know what 3 babies born together are called?
Dd: Yes. Twiglets!

Quickwitted they are..........

Yesterday at breakfast dd 3.8 was playing with her food sticking fingers in butter etc,

I tell her to stop and quick as lightning she tells me not to talk with my mouth full !!!

My dd aged 25 months came out with tonight while standing up in the bath "Mummy stop whingeing"....cheeky moo!!

At a recent christening my ds (3 yrs) sang "wheels on the bus" at the top of his voice during prayers. When I gently said shush with my finger on my mouth, he shouted across the church. "No mummy, that mans not asleep" - pointing at the vicar!

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ds will hate me for this - but then he won't see it will he??????? heehee
when he was about 3 or 4 he asked one day for "peace and quiet" racked our brains but he could not make us understand what he wanted - eventually decide to ask him if he could show us what it was
he got the bread and butter from the fridge and pushed a chair to the cupboard and stood up but could not reach pointing to jar of jam - turns out the "lovely" childminder we had at the time had been making jam sandwiches and telling kids to eat them and it would be peace and quiet - he thought thats what it was called!!

well my son today went looking for me, as far as he knew i was in the bath, he shouted me and i didn't andsew him as i was upstairs getting dress with a baby in the next room a sleep and didn't want him awake just yet, so i didn't andsew my son. so he opens the bath room door and starts talking to the plug hold asking if i was down there and if i was alright then went in the front room to his dad telling him i was down the drin my hubby came upstairs in stichies trying to tell me about our son , kids just got to love then haven't you

Used to have a Polish babysitter, who would bring ds gifts from Poland, show him Poland on the map, speak to her friends on the telephone in Polish in front of ds. One day she had some important stuff to take care of in her house in Willesden (London), so she asked if she could take ds there for the day. I said of course. So she said to ds, "You're coming home with me today--what do you think of that?" Ds, then 2.5, beamed and said, "I so happy, I'm going to Poland!"

This thread is wonderful, lol funny.

My dd made me laugh the other day...there was a loud machinery-type noise outside one Saturday morning. I wondered aloud what it could be. Dd (6) said, "I don't know, but I wish it would stop, it's making my ears blunt!"

I took DS (almost 2) to a friends house to play with her little boy. We decided to go out for a coffee leaving the boys with her domestic helper. As we left we listened at the door to see if they would cry. Her DS started whimpering. My DS quips : "Ooo Naughty Mummy. Gone shopping!"

DD and friends little boy were running around the garden shouting 'A bag of shit' - we were horrified until we realised that they were really pirates and shouting Abandon Ship!!

Best friend's son is being circumcised this week and told me yesterday that he is just having a bit of skin cut off - made me wince, funny but kinda sad!!

DD did her usual thing on Saturday when we went swimming and told the woman standing next to us that she had a really hairy noony!! Hoorah - she then told the woman that Mummy's wasn't that hairy!!

After doing his first poo in the potty - ds looked and announced 'CHOC CHOC'

Needless to say I am keeing an eye on him so that he doesn't try to eat it!

Hughsie - when he starts talking about doing a family of poo - look a daddy one (did look remarkable like her father), and a baby one and that one is the dog???

She tells everyone she is going for a poo and shouts at them to come out - 'come on poo out you come' we hear ringing from the bathroom!!

Brilliant! I omagine I am now in for lots of funny poo related sayings! - the joys of parenthood!

my dd always makes me laugh! Recently we went on holiday to a caravan. As she was having later nights she was sat with us at 9 one night and said." I fink theres somefing wrong wif the telly", i asked why and she said "coz cowonation street is not on".

Me to ds as driving through richmond park, admiring all the deer..."you know, when you get older you could be a vet" - "NO! I'm going to be a daddy and a rock star".

Granny to grandson as giving him a biscuit: "What do you say?" (eg: Please) - response: "Let go".

Love these. Ds asked me in the bath yesterday "why are your bosoms flopping down - didn't they used to flop up before you were pregnant?" Out of the mouth of babes and all that.

My 3 yo niece was given some clogs by my sil who had been to Amsterdam on honeymoon.

When I asked her about her present, she proudly told me that "Auntie Sofe gave me some clonks from Holland Park"