Ok, let's do it - your HORRIBLE FLIGHTS FROM HELL stories here!

[Jacksmama]

Someone else start. I have to get ready for work

PrettyBird - I've had one of the 'intercom not switched off' situations too!

Was coming back from the US (so had already been travelling for 8+ hours) and had to get a UK connecting flight from Heathrow to Newcastle ( a BA flight).

All was fine until about 40 mins into the flight, when suddenly across the tannoy the Captain )sounding slightly panicky said "Cabin crew prepare for an emergency landing in 8 mins"
Of course we (the passengers) all looked at each other in disbelief and horror, and one of the stewardesses looked shocked and RAN down the plane to tell the Captain to switch the loudspeaker off!
About 30 seconds later, he came back across the tannoy,
"Whoops, folks, sorry about that, well, yes, I have to inform you that we have had a threat against the airline so we're going to be landing the plane as soon as we possibly can at Newcastle."

The cabin crew then went into 'emergency evacuation' mode, telling up that AS SOON AS WE LANDED we had to leave the plane AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, leaving all luggage/bags etc and (this was the bit that sacred the shit out of me..) that as soon as we were on the tarmac we had to RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE away from the aircraft (as directed by ground staff).

We were aware that the plane was 'speeding' really fast, and I have never been on a plane that landed so quickly. As we can towards the airport it became clear that we were away from the main terminal - about as far away as possible - on what looked like a disused runway? There were loads of fire engines/ ambulances/ police cars - all with lights flashing etc.

When we landed, the doors were flung open and they were literally pushing people out, saying "Go,go!". On the ground they were shouting "run, run!"

On the way out of the plane I very nearly got into a fight with a middle-aged lady who was trying to take a large souvenir Grecian Urn with her and slowing everyine down.

After that it was a bit of an anti-climax. We were all taken into the terminal and then had to wait for 4-5 hours for our bags/stuff to be recovered.

I foudn out later that there had been two telephone 'threats' made, saying that there would be an explosion on a Northbound BA internal flight at (can't remember exactly, but say) 6.48 p.m.
Ours was one of 2 flights that it could have applied to (another flight had been landed at Manchester).

We had landed at about 6.45 p.m.

(Thankfully it turned out to be a hoax, and there were no explosions)

DS was about 9 months old - first family holiday.

We were going to Bulgaria and went on a night flight - all the children on the flight sat together at front of plane.

We are about 30 mins from landing when a girl about 19ish i guess who was with her mum and dad starts shouting and screaming and lots of swearing - at one point she leans across her mum and pelts her dad in the face really hard - he just sits there

We listen to about 1 hour (by the time we get off the plane) of her shouting, swearing etc etc - by this point the parents are getting pretty fed up listening to her tirade of lovely language so people start telling her to shut up - which makes her even worse!

We eventually get off and she tries to walk through the emergency exit past the ARMED security guards she gets pulled around a bit and made to sit down and shut up - shes still giving out to her mum and dad at this point.

We all get on coach to be transferred to our holiday destination and they get on the coach - the whole coach groans, Eventually she gets off and the remainder of the coach cheer that they wont be at the same destination.

Return home - we had a week of DS crying - he hated his holiday, he wouldnt be quiet, he cried at everything, wouldnt eat etc so we were bickering at each other and desperate to get home.

We get to the airport and the guards are searching everyone bags for fags - if you had fags they were then asking for extra money to allow you to take the fags through - if you wouldnt pay they wouldnt give you the fags back - this money was going straight in their pockets - the guards also took big disliking to a mixed race couple.

We get on the plane which is quite empty but we are sat in a 3 row which has an old guy next to us and we are sat with baby on lap - hence DS screaming for the entire flight - the old man next to us wouldnt move - a lady came down from the back of the plane and had a go at this old git who still refused to move. - He literally only had to move across the isle where there were 3 free seats he could have to himself

We get back to the baggage claim to see him being pushed around in wheelchair

So needless to say we have not flown since! We now prefer Eurocamp by boat

OMG Whippet scary stuff

whippet!

racmac - perhaps the girl had Tourettes? But agree, it is distressing for everyone in situations like that....

Flying home from London to Brisbane a few years ago. The airline did not inform me that the flight was delayed by 6 hours so rocked up to Heathrow and then sat around for hours with no food as the airline apparantly 'ran out' of vouchers. Got to Singapore and has missed my conncetion and there was a typhoon so sat around the airport for another 8 hours and lined up with 9 other plane loads of people for 5 hours to get transfered onto other flights. Finally made it to Sydney and it was the lead up to World Youth Day so there were 1000's of kids singing gospel songs etc and blocking customs and immigration and pissing people off. The airline then cancelled my flight but did not tell me then tried to rebook me a flight 8 hours later. After breaking down and crying I got on a flight 3 hours later but had no money and could not buy anything. Eventually got on the flight and had some unaccompanied kids behind me who kicked the seats the whole time until I threatened to kill them (got in trouble for swearing at them by the flight attendant). Finally got to Brisbane. Total travel time on a normal flight 24 hours. This trip 58 hours!!

Whippet - possibility but i dont think so - it was too controlled IFYGWIM and i would have thought her parents would have said something - they were getting a lot of stick.
I think she was just pissed

When I was younger me, my mum, aunt and cousin went on our annual trip to Malta, we were sat right at the back in what was in those days the smoking section. We take off from Birmingham and as we are ascending a high pitched whistle noise gets louder and louder, im there crying my eyes out because I dont like take off and landing at the best of times, the change in pressure just doesnt go down well with me.
The stewards and stewardesses are rushing about the back door trying to find out where the noise is coming from, we then hear gasps and furious whispering. Captain then tells the plane over the tannoy that we will be doing an emergency landing at Gatwick.

There was a fucking spoon trapped in the back door and it wasnt shut properly so we were rather quickly losing pressure, hence the horrible high pitched noise.
I would of been the first to go I was right next to that bloody door!

Many years ago on a flight from London to Johannesburg. It was during the 'apartheid years' when there were sanctions against SA and no country wanted to speak to them.

I was on a South African Airways flight, and because of the sanctions SAA weren't allowed to fly over many of the African countries, but had to go right around the continent instead. There was only just enough fuel in the plane to do this, as it added about 3 hours to the trip.

Anyway, in the night we went through terrible winds/storms, resulting in us burning up far more fuel than usual. By 06:00 the pilot was radioing into the various countries asking for permission to land to re-fuel. As far as I can establish, the conversations were ending with "You're from WHERE? No, sorry - you're not coming into our airspace!!!" Apparently it was far better to watch us crash into the ocean than allow us to land in their countries!

(We were finally allowed to land in Namibia (because it used to be controlled by SA...) Was very surreal...

Internal flight from Clermont Ferrand in central France to Paris CDG.

It was a tiny little plane - held about 40 odd people. Took off, I was idly looking out the window. The thing seemed to be making a helluva racket however I had only been used to travelling on normal 737 type planes and not small planes so thoight nothing was out of the ordinary.

Idly looking out the window, saw the tops of trees, thought Christ that's a bit low, then it looked as if we were literally skimming the tops of the trees and I thought fuck me we are going to land in the middle of the forest. Then saw the top of the fence and the runway, we had done a circle and came back to Clermont Ferrand to land.

The plane went whooshing down the runway, heard sirens (fire engine following us at speed) and then the thing stopped and we all hurtled off. Never got off a plane so fast.

We all stood like lemons on the runway - the smell of aviation spirit was really strong and firemen went all over the place. Then we all got pushed back into the terminal building. Accompanied by about a dozen of huighly pissed french businessmen who were uproarously laughing thier heads off at the whole proceedings .

Air France woman (the most miserable woman in EXISTENCE) said that the engines had failed, and that the flight was cancelled. Cue thoe whole plane of us running like mad towards the desk where the Paris Orly flight was going.

Managed to get on that flight after a scrum and being sworn at in french very loydly after I pushed in the queue.

Went to orly, had to get a bus to CDG to find I had missed my flight to Birmingham. Got put up in a Novotel however so did pissed businessmen who made me feel v intimidated and followed me into the lift to try and find where my hotel room was. So spent the night in the bar lounge beceause at least there were people there and i was terrified the drunk frenc would knock my door down.

Got the flight to Birmingham first thing, driving down from the airport and was going home to bed, and got a phone call from work from my boss saying that it was 'essential' that I went to work as one of my colleagues had rung in sick and I needed to host one of her suppliers. So went in skanky clothes with yesterday's hair and contact lenses whislt knackered to hold a meeting with someone I had never met to discvuss a subject I knew nothing of.

When my family think I am like Joan Collins with all business travel and expense accounts, I think of this story!

that can be halloween name.

I am enjoying this thread, hate flying and am never going to again so free to wallow in schadenfreude

Flying on my own with DD aged 19 months from Auckland to Heathrow via Singapore. Tw hours into the 11 hour flight to Singapore DD starts to throw up. She then goes floppy and unresponsive. I couldn't wake her. The air stewardesses couldn't wake her. An announcement went out asking for a doctor, who also couldn't wake her.

This was during the SARS epidemic so airlines were a bit touchy about children with very high temperatures etc. Cue an emergency landing at Singapore. We were escorted to the back of the plane, all the other passengers were let off first and an ambulance was waiting on the tarmac for us. At which point DD sat up, waved at the hostesses and said hopefully in her newly aquired vocabulary "Kit Kat?"

DP and I flew Aeroflot from Moscow to Bangkok in our youth. Oh My God.

Most of the passengers seemed to be off for a bit of sun/sex tourism after summer of hard graft on the Siberian Steppe.

As soon as the plane took off everyone vacated their seats, lit up, amd got stuck into the booze. By the time the drinks trolley reached us they had run out of vodka. The toilet was permanently occupied, but you couldn't have got there anyway due to men chatting up long-legged, short-skirted women in the aisles. DP and I tried to take our minds off the food by watching the on-screen entertaiment but this consisted of Soviet propaganda cartoons and Dire Straits videos.

In the middle of the night we were woken by a woman screaming and the sight of two men fighting next to the emergency exit.

Later a call was put out for a doctor on board ( I doubt it) and when the lights were switched on that morning, there was blood all over the emergency exit door.

Still, we got there in one piece and enjoyed the on-board colouring competition.

Next one:

Flying to Sumburgh (Shetland): if you know the airport it is a very short runway with the sea at either end of it.

First off, had an argument with dh the night before so was feeling a bit miserable when I went to Glasgow Airport for the early morning flight (business trip). Sit around having coffee and trying to wake up, for some reason thinking that boarding was at 8am. Nooooo - it took off at 8am . Anyway, arranged to be trnasferred to Ednibrgh, where I would get a connecting flight at Aberdeen.

Race across to Edniburgh and get there jsut in time to catch the flight. Tansfer at Aberdeen

It's a foggy day, so the pilot makes two attempts to land at Sumburgh (difficult airport to land in at the best of times) but the visiblity is not good enough either time to complete the landing. Comes on the intercom to tell us that he is only allowed two attmepts and is nwo going to have to go back to Aberdeen.

Go back to Aberdeen and we are put on the next flight. Flight takes off and new pilot comes on to say, "conditions are x, y and z during the flight... it's a bit foggy at Sumburgh but we'll just have to see how it goes...." Cue a lot of groaning from half the flight!

We did manage to land that time!

smallorange your story reminded me of flying to Turkey on Azerbijani Air. As soon as we took off the guy next to us lit up. We complained to the air hostess as we were sitting in non-smoking seats. Her reply (in Russian accented drawl)
"You sit there. Are not smoking. Is non-smoking seat. He sit there. Is smoking. Is smoking seat"

She then gave a magnificent Eastern European shrug and sauntered off down the isle, lit cigarette between her fingers.

The plane was full of a boxing team who spent the whole time trying to chat my sister and I up using phrase books from the Soviet era. "Please take me to your nearest People's Hall, I wish to meet the Party Secretary".

... I could start on the stories that our airline pilot has told us......

Pressed "post" prematurely ".. I could start on the stories that our airline pilot friend has told us...... grin"

Dont tease us prettybird - tell all

Friend from school was on the failed christmas day bombing flight.

lol prettybird, I was getting very impressed.

Whippet

Flew from Sydney to San Fransisco - 13 hour flight plus the hour we sat on the runway - so long but fine. Flew with American Airlines (I think).

Connecting flight from San Fransisco (technically connecting but there was a week in San Fran in between but NO shopping so NO additional luggage). Couldn't check in as the luggage weight was wrong as although ok in kg (in Oz) using pounds/ounces (in US) put us technically over. I cried. Dh shouted (at me), check in man hastily waved us through (note to self: crying works ). Flight was meant to be 5 hours to JFK. However, storms shut all three NY airports so we were diverted to Cleveland to wait it out. We weren't allowed off the aeroplane as Cleveland was too small to cope with the volume of passengers to check through and back again as we were one of several trans-America flights diverted. No food on board; Cleveland couldn't/wouldn't send any on ... cue 2 very hungry small boys (and adults!). 5 hours later ... message to go so everyone zoomed to their seats, taxied and turned round - one of the engines wouldn't turn on so we lost our slot whilst they fixed it ... in the end we spent 7 hours sitting on the plane ... made it into NYC after midnight, the whole journey taking ~13 hours so more than double with only one snack ... JFK was chaos BUT we got all 12 items of luggage relatively quickly (we were in transit home after a year overseas) and the boys were completely fab throughout. So glad that we were in NYC and all night food was available!

A friend who is cabin crew for a major airline is fu of stories; she recalls Geri Halliwell, painfully thin, ordering huge amounts of food from the menu then going to the toilets to throw up. This must have been at the height of her bulimia.

She's also had an old man do a poo at the back of the cabin!

DP and I were flying from Athens to Cairo, pre 9/11, when, just as the plane was taxiing fown the runway, a man stood up and ran to the front of the cabin shouting that he couldn't fly to Cairo. He was clearly terriified. He said he didn't gave a passport.The plane was taken back to the terminal the man let off, but they couldn't find his luggage. By now everyone was a bit worried about what he might have left on board...

The Americans on the flight demanded yo see the pilot who was a large verbose Greek pilot who assured us he was very good at flying and would get us there in o e piece. Cue lots of American 'you cannot gamble with my life,' type vomments while we British decided nit to make a fuss and the Aussies complained that they hadn't seen a pyramid yet.

Anyway in the end everyone shrugged, sat fown, and off we flew. Very odd.

All the stories so far are my own (or in one case, my dh's) experiences!

I have travelled a lot though!

A not so bad one: did finally go to Greece on a proper holiday with dh. Was able to persuade him to address his unjustified antipathy (he's never been, just didn't like the idea of it) by the fact that it would be a good trial run for travelling with ds (11 months at the time and we were going to SOuth Africa with him when he would be 13 months old) plus as a bonus form work, I had been given £1,000 in Thomas Cook vouchers, so it was "free".

Had an excellent week in Skiathos. On the way back we stopped for refuelling at Thessaloniki and waited for an abnormally long time. It got hotter and hotter on the plane and it seemd as if the air conditioning wasn't working. Ds started (understandably) getting distressed. Fortunately I was still bf him, so was able to pacify him that way, but we weren't allowed off the plane. The air hostesses eventually opened the back doors (closest to us) in an attempt to get some air in.

Eventually the pilot came on and said that the air conditioning unit had broken down and they were going to need to fly a new piece over from Gatwick to fix it, so they finally let us of the plane. By now it was the middle of the night, so Thessaloniki Airport was deserted. We didn't have our luggage (not even our buggy) so had very little with which to look after ds. Fortunately, I alwys go an plane with a pashmina (too many bad experiences with vivious air conditioning) so we have a lovely picture of ds sleeping on the floor in the airport on my pashmina.

We finally took off again about 6 hours later. Just as well I was still bf as otherwise I might have been scuppered!

Surprisingly, dh did manage to fall in love with Greece and we have now been back many times.