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Original poster

Does anyone else just not fit in?

39 replies

lunavix · 21/06/2005 14:28

When I was younger I had piercings etc, but never fit in with the 'alternative' crowd for various reasons, mainly being I'm not cool, not highly artistic or articulate, and just generally am two steps behind!

As a parent, I had to lose the piercings and such, as I wanted to fit in locally (where we moved) so that I wasn't really depriving ds in meeting other children his age. Sadly, still not fitting in (am far too 'young' and 'alternative' for the group, "glastonbury! gosh! We're getting a new conservatory this weekend....")

Does this happen to anyone else? DH and I only ahve a few close friends, who live away from us, and we are really struggling to make any more.

OP posts:
tarantula · 21/06/2005 14:36

Fit in??? Whats that? Ive never really fitted in anywhere. But then not sure I really want to either. Prefer to be a little different. Makes life more interesting

Smurfgirl · 21/06/2005 14:39

I don't seem to fit in sometimes, and I find it quite hard.

mogwai · 21/06/2005 16:24

that's so sad

I like to have lots of varied friends. I like people who are a bit different.

I have a conservatory, but I'd secretly love to go to Glastonbury

Nemo1977 · 21/06/2005 16:32

I dont really fit in. I have a handful of people I would call friends but even most of them I dont see regulalrly, same for dh. I am not a good talker as I always feel like I come across as being a bit thick..even though i know I am not as i did work, have a degree and msc and my old job was to go and talk to people. In my personal life [which is now all I have from being a sahm] I do not talk to many people or really have anyone I could phone to say hi etc...not even with family but thats another story..lol

Carla · 21/06/2005 16:37

Do you have to fit in? Or just find people that are like you?

I had a few birthday cards, so some must like me, LOL!

Lonelymum · 21/06/2005 16:38

I absolutely do not fit in. I think the trouble is I see myself as one sort of person, (from my upbringing) but people that I would like to be friends with don't see me as one of theirs IYSWIM. Other people are friendly towards me, but I don't see their friendships as satisfactory to me.

Gosh I sound odd. And picky. Perhaps I am. I havene't made a new, proper friend for about 20 years.

expatinscotland · 21/06/2005 16:39

Same here, tarantula. I gave up on 'fitting in' a long time ago, and been better for it ever since.

QueenEagle · 21/06/2005 16:40

Aren't I your friend then LM?

ggglimpopo · 21/06/2005 16:41

Message withdrawn

Fio2 · 21/06/2005 16:42

everyone is induvidual. i think it takes me quite a while to make friends iykwim. I am quite shy and it just takes a while for me to be myself

Lonelymum · 21/06/2005 16:42

Oooh I don't know QE, after what you told me on Saturday! Have you a lovely tan now??

Actually you are a good gossip (I mean that in the nicest way) so we probably would get on face to face.

gigglinggoblin · 21/06/2005 16:44

i fit in perfectly, its just everyone else who doesnt! would love to make new friends but i cant be bothered with people unless i particularly like them or have lots in common with them. they would also have to be as intelligent as me - not less cos i get annoyed, not more cos i switch off! have proabably 4 or 5 good friends, none of whom have kids so i dont really see them much. think im just too picky

lou33 · 21/06/2005 16:45

don't care if i fit in or not anymore, am just me

Lonelymum · 21/06/2005 16:46

gigglinggoblin, you sound a bit like me

fishfinger · 21/06/2005 16:46

Id say whats wrong iwht conservatory
think you soudn like YOU are excluding yourself

QueenEagle · 21/06/2005 16:49

Take me as you find me. I like or dislike people on individual merit and expect others to do the same with me.

What does "fitting in" mean? That you have loads of friends and are really popular? tbh I would find it way to tiring. I just go with the flow, if people like me, fine....if not so be it!

No white tan lines on me Lonelymum!!

Lonelymum · 21/06/2005 16:51

Never got round to telling you when we were on msn that I sunbathed naked when pg with ds1 and got such a pasting from the midwives when I went into labour!

QueenEagle · 21/06/2005 16:53

Why on earth did they do that LM? I did too, just made sure I was careful and drank plenty, don't think there's any problem with it is there?

Lonelymum · 21/06/2005 16:56

I tan very easily and I suppose I was being castigated for over exposing my skin to the sun or something. As I was in agonising labour, I didn't really pay them too much attention, but I was embarrassed nonetheless. It never occurred to me that my complete lack of lines would make it obvious I had been naked.

expatinscotland · 21/06/2005 20:38

excuse me for hijack

hiya ggg! was wondering where you'd gone! . will check emails.

lousH · 22/06/2005 12:33

yes same here, only place I felt at home was growing up in Notiing hill

everywhere else seems totally alien, from the moronic neighbours in Luton, to the very nice, but very conservative neighbours here in Surrey.

went up to portobello rd on Sat, felt like I was home again .

I guess there is a place for everyone, I just wish we could afford our own Island-lol

Tortington · 22/06/2005 12:46

can you be alternative and have a conservatory?????

HappyHuggy · 22/06/2005 12:48

I used to try and fit in, but it never really worked and people thought i was a bit wierd

but now im just me and i seem to have alot more friends for it, both older and the same age as me.

Its hard getting married and becoming a mum so young cause you lose common intrests with people of youir own age but are still seen as too young by older people

but since starting work and college ive found things a lot easier - ive got too many friends now!!

fastasleep · 22/06/2005 12:50

I'm a totally weird, I don't really mind...

fastasleep · 22/06/2005 12:50

I know what you mean huggy about becoming a mum young, I was 16 and had just moved to the area and still haven't really had the chance to make many friends... but it doesn't bother me it's great not to be bothered!