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Original poster

What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

661 replies

morningpaper · 19/05/2005 12:04

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

OP posts:
Caligula · 19/05/2005 22:09

Oh and by the way, I stay at home with my children but I don't have a husband to sponge off. I do paid work from home though. So am I a sponger too? And if so, who am I sponging off of?

Libb · 19/05/2005 22:10

I just want it noted that I work full time, my job isn't fulfilling and I love my time with DS. I am also very lazy and actually have been known to take a day off and still send DS to the CM, I do the basic housework and then spend the afternoon watching tat.

I love every second, time out breaks are every mother's given right - just like chocolate and wine.

Some of us are born powerhouses, and some of us aren't. I am more like an AA battery personally.

compo · 19/05/2005 22:10

sorry it was londina who said that

Hulababy · 19/05/2005 22:11

I am not a SAHM; I work PT. BUT I do read MN a lot. My DD also goes to nursery 2 days a week. Until Easter this year, when I was teaching, I had school holidays and my DD continued to go to nursery and some days I would just go home and do NOTHING - not even housework, cooking, shopping or anything. I just had some time for ME and it was with my DH's blessing too.

And I certainly don't scrounge from anyone. When I am not working, I contribute to the household inother ways, other than financial. I am sure this is the case for most mums at home, for most of the time.

Working outside the home is not the only way to contribute to a happy faily you know?

Being a mum is not easy all the time for anyone - be they SAHMs, work from home mums, or mums working PT or FT out of the home. It isn't a competition. We all need time out some days.

Londonina · 19/05/2005 22:11

You would be suprised to find out who I was. I am not an aggrieved man, but I work with many of them. I understand them. FM and Morningpaper have not made any personal attacks. They are,however, being called a "piece of piss". I find it extraordinary.

soapbox · 19/05/2005 22:11

Compo - I didn't say that it was civilised???????

But, anyway - not how I would have put it, but don;t think its uncivilised its just her opinion??? Capable of being challenged as it has been!

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 22:12

Caligula: I'm sorry you felt that my original question was not civilised. I am genuinely baffled by some of the responses to my thread. I was being honest (ok and bit tongue in cheek) when I expressed my opinion and was really interested in what other people thought.

Before I started this thread I didn't realise HOW MANY women CHOOSE to extend their period at home when their children are at school/nursery - a decision I find in surprising contrast to the recent thread about how unfulfilling life as a SAHM is.

OP posts:
Caligula · 19/05/2005 22:14

Um... implying that a whole section of women are living worthless, unproductive lives is a pretty personal attack actually. As is calling a whole section of women who are doing a job which needs to be done scroungers.

GeorginaA · 19/05/2005 22:15

Libb: duracell or everready

soapbox · 19/05/2005 22:16

Caligula - what job that needs to be done and not sure where the scroungers comment comes from??

compo · 19/05/2005 22:16

MP - doesn't your dh/dp get any time to himself then?

Caligula · 19/05/2005 22:16

MP, I didn't think it was terribly uncivilised, but I didn't think it was as civilised as it could be either! - I did guess your tongue was firmly wedged in your cheek, but I'm not so sure that some of the other poster's were...

Gobbledigook · 19/05/2005 22:16

Soapbox - raising children!!! Who else is gonna do it?!

Gobbledigook · 19/05/2005 22:17

Soapbox - Londonina said women who stay at home 'sponge off their husbands'. Nice.

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 22:17

Compo: yes we both have time to ourselves in evening and at weekends (not sure what you are getting at?)

OP posts:
soapbox · 19/05/2005 22:18

MP is here to asnwer for herself, but what I thought she was trying to say was 'once children are at school, what do SAHMs do to fill their days and do they find it fulfilling'.

Maybe not as well put as it could have been but a valid discussion nontheless, surely?

Caligula · 19/05/2005 22:18

Soapbox, I was referring to Londonina's comment - "SAHM give women a bad name and sponge off their husbands"

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 22:18

Yes soapbox I now see that WOULD have been a better way of asking the question [wry smile]...

OP posts:
compo · 19/05/2005 22:19

sorry MP didn't mean to be vague!! I was referring to your original comment 'I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?' Like you my dh gets time to himself too so wouldn't be 'miffed' when i had some

soapbox · 19/05/2005 22:19

GDG - but she was talking about the time while they are at school! No children to raise then???

ANd not just work as an option to fill the time - but just a question as to how they did fill the time - voluntary work - mind fullfilling activities etc.

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 22:21

No compo but if I had every day 'off' from 9-3 then I think DH would have a right to be a bit miffed!

Frankly I'd want to KILL him if he was sitting at home while I was slaving my guts out in the office.

OP posts:
soapbox · 19/05/2005 22:21

Well Caligula - that is just crap isn;t it!

At the end of the day those of us lucky enough to be in relationships are working in partnership and as adults we can choose how to allocate the family responsibilities as we see fit!

Gobbledigook · 19/05/2005 22:21

I'd like to see my dh try and be miffed!! I'd be asking him who he thought kept his drawers full of clean pants, his wardrobe full of ironed shirts, prepared his evening meal each night, made sure the bill were paid, made sure his children were clothed, fed and entertained ....pixies?

Thomcat · 19/05/2005 22:21

This is worse than the playground. I hate this whole who's a better and more fulfilled person, - a mother who works in the home and one that works out of it? I've scanned this thread and it's sickened me, how spiteful and catty and just unnessecery some people are being with each other. Calm down, if your on a high horse get down it doesn't suit you, stop winding each other UP. A grown up debate is one thing but this is just awful and pointless.

Libb · 19/05/2005 22:21

Georgina, I would like to think Duracell but sadly think it is more like Everready . . .

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