What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

[morningpaper]

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

I just put it down to her being Swedish and therefore possibly being brought up in a country with a different culture to my own.

Believe me, I'm usually one of the first to mutter (or shout!) the T word if a post strike me as suspect.

Swedish!

I thought she was American!

(major apologies to all American posters on MN)

If you want to see FMs posts just put her name in search by nickname and click >> and you can see them all.

Yes MP it did, it just seems if you used those gentle words when you began the thread, maybe all of this wouldn't have happened! I don't know that it fulfills me to do the drugery, but it is all just a part of it, you know? I think I can understand what you are saying in your last paragraph--I just think I misunderstood, as have many others, with the way it came across to being with. With that said, I still would not judge those posters you mention that spend all their time at gym, with friends and coffees, etc. I don't know what their personal truth's are anyway...you know? They might have alot more going on then any of us realize.

Message withdrawn

Yes NDP, I searched FM's posts and she is real, just maybe with different views to my own as you say.

Vive la difference I guess!

Have caught up with this thread - and

PMSL at Caligula "Don?t you people have a radio?" and snafu "Life's all one long Ingmar Bergman film for us dim SAHMs..." - classic

What I also don't understand is the point scoring glee at pointing out threads where SAHMs struggle with things or find some bits tedious. I'm almost certain that the bits they find tedious aren't to do with going to the gym, shopping or having some spare time to themselves!

Are WOTH mums lives a bed of roses with no drawbacks or times when they feel less than happy about how their lives are going sometimes too? Does that make them any less able to choose for themselves how they want their lives to go without judgement from their peers?

Or do all of us try our very hardest to learn from the downsides and use that as an impetus to improve our own lives in the direction we see fit?

I have changed my name for this, but I do agree with Morningpaper and FM. I think FM is brave and honest to write what she had done on Mumsnet. Mumsnet is largely read by Stay-At-Home's so I am not suprised of the angry replies. I think her posts are representative for the population outside Mumsnet. I think she is taking a hell of a beating. Her posts are not half as insulting as the ones written about her.

How d'you know it's largely read by Stay at Homes?

And actually, what does whether you stay at home or not have to do with it? Having the opinion that being a SAHM is a legitimate thing to be, doesn't mean you have to be one yourself - anymore than believing that it's perfectly legitimate to have a full time job outside the home and 5 children means you have to do that.

Some of the comments about FM were quite rude, but I think her implication that a whole section of women are living lives which are not productive or worthwhile, does rather invite some pretty strong comment.

I think it's largely read by working mums imo

Londonina - what a load of rubbish.

Working mums, who are actually being incredibly lazy by pissing about on MN all day. Ta-daaaah!

Exactly Compo, I agree - and clearly they still have 'dull' parts to their high flying, fulfilling, society enhancing jobs or else they wouldn't be on bloody mumsnet chatting!

Snafu!

You lot are incredibly aggressive and good at ganging up on Mumsnetters with a difference in opinion. Morningpaper started a civilised thread and it did get out of hand. You found her question offensive. Did it hit a raw nerve?
SAHM give women a bad name and sponge off their husbands.

Oh my word

What happened with this thread??

Gosh Fairymum you really are a piece of piss aren't you

To be fair to MP - she started this thread as a SAHM who had admitted in another thread that she found it unfulfilling. I'm baffled therefore that it turned into a WOTH v SAHM thread!

I think feminism offered some of us the wonderful choice as to how to spend our days, it didn't give us the right to have it all, all hte time.

Lets save some thoughts therefore for those amongst us who have no choice but to work and for those who have no choice but to stay at home. They really are the people that feminism has failed and who are unable to make the choice as to how to spend their days!

I'm fortunate to have been able to make a choice and for that I am very very grateful

what does woth stand for?

ROFLMAO at Londonina - dear, dear me!!

Morningpaper's thread did not start civilised, Londonina, and your comments about SAHM's sponging off their husbands are mysogynist crap. Do you also think SAHD's sponge off their wives?

SP - working outside the home

And I don't believe for one moment you're a regular poster, I think you're a man - possibly an aggrieved one with a stay at home wife!

Soapbox - how is calling people plain lazy civilized?

that is rather an inflammatory post.

can't believe this thread is still going.