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Original poster

What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

661 replies

morningpaper · 19/05/2005 12:04

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

OP posts:
sunchowder · 19/05/2005 18:15

I always feel like such an ass if I do a heartfelt post like the one that I did. Just for the record, I wish I never posted it.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 19/05/2005 18:17

I think if you've bagged yourself a partner (whether male or female) who is happy to be the sole earner (and you can live reasonably comfortably as a family) then you are one clever bunny, because you have choices others don't, and human nature being what it is, the green eyed monster will inevitably set it's gaze at you.

FairyMum · 19/05/2005 18:19

Yes, but jimjams, comments like that are all over mn. I have been called worse things than dim on here. I do understand that many sahms don't have much confidence though and low self-esteem. I gues they must be so used to people thinking they are boriing etc, that you get very sensitive about everything. That was my experience when I was on mat leave and mixing with sahms too. all the little intrigues amongts the mums and with the husbands etc. Things you don't really have time for when you fill your life with more things than soap.

snafu · 19/05/2005 18:21

fairymum

Can I just reiterate, I do have a lovely selection of hardhats going cheap?

Caligula · 19/05/2005 18:21

Oh fgs FM are you going for a record? Why do you feel the need to make a remark like SAHM's fill their lives with soaps? Exactly how can that not be interpreted as deliberately offensive?

roisin · 19/05/2005 18:21

I don't understand what you're saying about pensions. SAHMs can contribute to pensions in their own right if they want (and get great tax benefits). But if a couple get divorced all assets are shared equally, and that includes pension funds. Who's contributed when isn't relevant, surely?

I haven't contributed for last 7 yrs because I've basically been SAHM; but when dh was at uni training I contributed for 3 yrs and he didn't.

Our marriage is about sharing everything. When/if you split up, you split everything. What's to discuss?

SenoraPostrophe · 19/05/2005 18:25

sounds like you've been watching too many soaps yourself, fairymum.

WigWamBam · 19/05/2005 18:25

More sweeping generalisations, Fairymum, and extrememly insulting and mean-spirited they are, too. Debating a point is one thing, but deliberate rudeness is another.

JakB · 19/05/2005 18:25

Bloody hell, Fairymum, who the hell do you think you are? I am a SAHM who tries to fit in work here and there (oh I had such a glorious career as a journalist, how could I be so, so dim to give it all up?) around being a carer for my severely autistic daughter and running a toddler group for children with special needs. I can assure you I do not fill my day talking about 'little intrigues'. Maybe your experience of being at home was depressing, but mine sure as hell isn't. What is your problem?

SoupDragon · 19/05/2005 18:26

pmsl @ FairyMum. My word you like to talk a load of cr*p don't you?

snafu · 19/05/2005 18:27

Life's all one long Ingmar Bergman film for us dim SAHMs...

PuffTheMagicDragon · 19/05/2005 18:27

snafu.

Caligula · 19/05/2005 18:28

With some Nietzschean Angst thrown in Snafu?

SoupDragon · 19/05/2005 18:28
WigWamBam · 19/05/2005 18:28

Mind you, if some of these posts can be called intelligent and considered, I think I'd prefer to be dim, actually.

snafu · 19/05/2005 18:29

Oh no, Caligula. Neetchee is far too intelleckchewl for the likes of us, y'know.

FairyMum · 19/05/2005 18:30

Yes, that was crap of course. But quite honestly, I can't help it. MP tried to start a debate and a lot of us contributed nicely, but then you had so many sahms who got so sensitive and "we are soooohappy" when I have just read the thread about how bored and unfulfilled you all are. Of course I know you don't spend all your time watching soaps. You have all that housework and cooking to do which obviously takes you all so much longer than us working mums experts at efficiently juggling

sunchowder · 19/05/2005 18:30

I still feel like an asshole if anyone cares.

SoupDragon · 19/05/2005 18:31

You don't start a "debate" by inferring that a large proportion of MN is lazy. That's how you start an "argument".

assumedname · 19/05/2005 18:31

sunchowder - I liked your post.

sunchowder · 19/05/2005 18:31

Fairymum did you used to be Dadslib?

JoolsToo · 19/05/2005 18:32

By SaintGeorge on Thursday, 19 May, 2005 1:01:56 PM

"..when you retire you are normally old and tired"

Can't wait for Joolstoo's reaction to that one

thanks SG! - exactly - this week I have walked up to Angle Tarn, Whitbarrow Scar and round Kentmere. Today I have manhandled a bed down a very narrow staircase (2 floors) driven to Manchester and back and visited Ikea and the grandkids along the way - NOW I feel old and tired. Ds's up for the Cup Final this weekend too plus more walking in the beautiful Lake District which is now my home.

My life is anything but dull thank you very much!

WigWamBam · 19/05/2005 18:32

And then you continue it by being insulting and patronising. What a nasty thread this has turned out to be.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 19/05/2005 18:32

sunchowder, it was a good post, informed and intelligent too .

lima · 19/05/2005 18:32

I liked your post too Sunny - don't feel down