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My neighbours are ar**holes...... had to call the police

230 replies

sparklymieow · 10/05/2005 17:57

went to my mum's to sort out their internet and got a call from my DH, very shaken and he said that the neighbours had been round and threaten him and were standing outside and not to come home I phoned the police from my mums and came straight home, I leaped out and told my neighbour that he had no right to threaten anyone and to make them feel like this, he called me a thing and that I should just get into my 'dirty' house.... my mum got out and said to him that she was sorry for shouting over the fence on sunday and that the arguement was with her and not us.... he told us to get off 'his' garden (not his its his parents house) and started to push me, at which point my dad jumped between us, and he said that he would flatten my dad!!! I said the plice were on their way, and he said that if they did come I wouldn't be living here much longer....... I went into the house and phoned the council and said that I want to make a complaint about the neighbours. The police turned up then and spoke to us, they had already been next door, and he said that they had missed out lots of information, I went and got the kids from scool whil the police were next door and broke down in the office...... I jus want a quiet life, wh is it that wherever I go, there is trouble

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sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 11:22

thanks H2D I feel so tired of it all... this house has been adpated especially for DS and Dd1 and we did love it here.....

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expatinscotland · 11/05/2005 11:24

Sparkly,
I'm sorry to hear this. Wish I had more advice to offer. Can only offer empathy. Have SO been there! Had this neighbour who loved to get drunk and violent at the weekends. We moved away, but then again we had only DD who was a baby at the time.

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 11:26

our last neighbour in our old house love alcahol too, we only had DS at that point, moved here and had the girls, now I hate it....

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expatinscotland · 11/05/2005 11:29

I don't think the stress of having bad neighbours can be under-emphasised. It really and truly dominates your life and turns your home into a place you don't want to be. We were depressed, slept poorly, felt hopeless and despairing of the future. So I can completely understand your plight.

How about ASBOs? Start keeping a detailed log of all the incidents with this 'neighbour'.

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 11:30

I am fine in my house, just don't want to go outside in case they are out there, have to pick the kids up, tho. that said yesterday when I brought the kids home, they were outside and didn't say a word...

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expatinscotland · 11/05/2005 11:32

They're trying to bully you so they can control you.

I've seen some TV shows where people put CCTVs up around their house to catch tneir neighbours' malevolent actions. You can pick up cheap ones on Ebay.

hub2dee · 11/05/2005 11:35

I know you feel tired Sparkly...

Maybe do two things, to make the most of a bad situation: 1) EVALUATE MOVE POSSIBILITIES: Evaluate possibility of moving to new places - pursue the conversations with the Bolton connection, call the council about your current situation etc. Would going in the direction of misdee be sensible ? 2) EVALUATE SORTING CURRENT SITUATION: keep the logs, speak to the neighbours, do your self-defence course, REPORT EVERYTHING TO THE POLICE etc. etc.

You will know you will be doing THE MOST you can and you'll be keeping your options open.

expatinscotland · 11/05/2005 11:38

Hub
Spot on as usual! Your feelings will improve once you feel you're taking control of the situation, sparkly. This works in SO many areas of life! Once you feel you're on the road to making changes, things really do change for the better.

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 11:45

what do you mean 'Would going in the direction of misdee be sensible ' ???

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SaintGeorge · 11/05/2005 11:47

Have you seen Neighbours From Hell website.

Might be some helpful advice on there from people who have been through similiar crap.

Hope you get something sorted soon.

hub2dee · 11/05/2005 11:55

I mean living near her for company and for support. (maybe you do ?)

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 14:09

have been on the phone to Bolton cuncil, she was very helpful but culdn't help us in this instance, just told me to keep looking at the houses...

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hub2dee · 11/05/2005 14:21

Keep a watchful eye, incase something comes up, or the rules which control who / where get tweaked etc.

Good on you for calling.

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 14:40

he's outside and i'm scared to go and pick up the kids

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hub2dee · 11/05/2005 14:45

I think you posted last time you came back he was out front and didn't say anything...

Chances are you'll be fine.

Maybe ready a nasty line if he shouts abuse...

"Are you still out here ? Don't you have a job / school / girlfriend to go to ?"

I'm sorry you feel scared. It's a nasty emotion.

Deep breaths now, practice standing straight... and go and get your kids.

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 14:46

he is out there with a gang of people, one who is known for beating up women, my mum is picking up the kids and taking them back to hers

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sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 14:56

I feel terrible, I want this to all go away

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hub2dee · 11/05/2005 14:56

Oh sparkly.

This just sounds horrid. I'm sad these people are curtailing your freedom.

This may be irrelevant, but I once read about how a certain number of people constitued some kind of crowd and could be forced to disperse... again, maybe the policeman dp here could answer with a comment ?

(Though I appreciate these people may not have actually done anything so far).

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 14:59

sick sick sick...... this is making me feel so tired and have contant butterflies in my tummy...

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hub2dee · 11/05/2005 15:02

One other point, and sorry if I'm sounding a sop, but if you really feel worried, for a reason, the police would probably prefer to come round, have words with these people, escort you out, etc. than to have to deal with some kind of assault / verbal harassment etc.

Now, I don't understand the mentality of these apes, so I couldn't suggest whether this would antagonise them or scare them more, but I'll post it incase the idea is useful.

I guess I should also say that you'll need to feel you can go in and out of your house at any time you see fit, so you might as well carry on right now, as it were... it's just I couldn't sit here and post 'ignore them, walk out' for fear of you being hurt.

.

Do you have the number of your Community Support Officers ? Maybe you could arrange for them to visit your area at school pick up time when the moums need to pick up the kids ?

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 15:22

Dh isn't being much help TBH, they have gone now, so I said to come with me to my parents and he won't step outside...

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hub2dee · 11/05/2005 15:27

It's tough, sparkly, no one - man or woman - likes confronting violence, if it's not 'in you' IYSWIM. It's certainly not my cup of tea.

Also, the apes might feel more comfortable attacking him rather than you, so it's natural for him to be scared.

Has he any particular view on resolving the situation ?

sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 15:28

move..... thats all we can do.. scared to leave him alone in case they start again..

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sparklymieow · 11/05/2005 16:18

been and picked up the kids, crapping myself the whole way back incase they were outside.... dad followed me back

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misdee · 11/05/2005 17:19
Sad
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