I am a domestic slut

[edgarcat]

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Shame of shame but when I moved house the removalist found a used condom under the bed.

He was a Greek man who thought all his Christmases had come at once. He basically proposed to me as we were moving the couch into the house. At the time I was too tight to pay for 2 removalists and helped him shift the heavy stuff.

For some reason he thought the condom and the fact that I was helping lift heavy stuff meant I would make a good wife.

How wrong he was.

Warning, do not enter my house unless it is on a Wednesday. It is a health hazard on all days, especially weekends, except for Wednesday when the cleaner has been. That is no rash statement, it really is.

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Under fridge - mouse droppings. Now caught, but who knows how long they had been living there !!

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Found dd eating a dead woodlouse on the bedroom floor this am. It had been there at least a couple of weeks.....

Once found dead mouse under fridge! it wasn't fresh either let me tell you. ohhhh I am an animal

Sorry, what does the ROFL mean. Don't want to admit to my ignorance but sometimes it takes me ages to figure out the shortened versions.

Lest you think I jest more evidence of my and my dh's poor housekeeping:

Cat's nuts (the crunchy ones not their personal ones) strewn all over the floor with help from ds. I just step around them or kick them to the skirting boards.

Cat's wet food all around bowl on floor.

Cat's poo left in back room. I do clean this up but as we have just got them and I'm training them not to use a kitty litter they sometimes rebel and leave it in spots I don't find until it starts to smell. Luckily out of ds's way.

Stripping wallpaper at present in house and wallpaper remnants to be found strewn all over floor and rest of house where we aren't actually working.

I never clean under or behind my appliances. Out of sight out of mind. I am always repulsed when they have to be pulled out and vow to get better but never seem to. The only time I do spring cleaning is when my parents are due to arrive for a visit.

I really do pity my husband as I always harp on at him and his poor house cleaning skills when in fact I think I'm worse than him.

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Edgarcat - I know. I debated adding that but figured why not be honest. Honestly though, it's not unless they do it in plain view that I know it's there. Until it starts to pong anyway. I do lift my game and clean that up if nothing else.

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Ahh you're all making me feel more normal - I mean ...not more normal than you all...more like we are all normal...um...y'know?

I don't even have a child yet and Ican agree with all of this (except the dead woodlice!) Life's too short all it shows is that you do better things with your time. If it were immaculate under appliances I would be worried.

Just you wait ninja, it won't be long before you think those woodlice are doing no harm where they are

I'm appalled. My house is always spotlessly clean and clinically tidy and none of you can prove otherwise. Well, except one person and she can keep quiet or else

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Yes Edgarcat - every weekend I pull out the Fridge/Dishwasher/washing machine a spend a good hour cleaning and disinfecting the areas! I would be MORTIFYED to have had that happen to me! Shame on you!

NOT!!!!!!

Yesterday I dropped my Oregano behind the dishwasher. DP offered to retrieve it, he was nearly sick at what he found!!!!! YUCK... there was even a boiled potato (been there some time!), a milk carton.... with a wee drop congealed milk left in it. And my Oregano, which I promptly binned!!

Yes.... I do rule in most respects , but I'm also a total slob!!!!!! I can't remember tha last time I wore something that was ironed either.

this is revolting so dont read if youve just eaten,on our last visit to the in-laws my MIL gave me a bag full of sheets,towels and other crap that she doesnt want,before leaving their house she put(in the same bag)the remains of the night before leg of lamb for our dog lola,she didnt tell me,on arriving home i put the bag on the top bunk bed in my ds bedroom a week later i could smell something so looked everywhere for a dead mouse or bird,couldn`t find anything and we went on holiday,when we came back(i feel sick now thinking about it)we found my sons room full of bluebottles,yeeeeeeeeek the thought of all those maggets crawling all over the beds,of course MIL blame my poor housekeeping i could have killed he!r

Whymummy - BLEURGH!!!!!!!!

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Oh, I'm sure I can think of something, SB34

Whymummy : BLEAGH!!!! Reminds me of the time a school friend left her uncooked chicken casserole in our locker over half term...

I saw a show on TV the other night about using maggots to clean wounds etc. It is apparently very hygenic and the wound heals amazingly fast.

Tell him that you were growing them for medical purposes. Either for the next time he got hit with the frying pan for not cleaning when he should or for one of your children who is bound to have a serious accident and need maggots to help clean the wound when you least expect it.

i know,i know i had to write that message with a bucket by my side