Famous people dying and how the public 'grieve' - a thread for discussion

[PollyFilla]

People were very upset when Princess Diana died but many felt the outpouring of grief was strange given that most of us didn't know her.

Ditto Jade Goody. Most people posting about her death didn't know her.

And likewise Natasha Richardson's sad death this week has moved a lot of people.

So this is a thread to talk about public grief and why people feel the way they do and whether it is completely normal and proper and appropriate or whether it is a symptom of how our press operates in the UK: it gives us all a lot of information on celebrities and so we feel we know them even though we don't.

I think the whole area is interesting. What do you feel in terms of grief for famous people who die and why?

I've totally changed my mind on all this, we're far too repressed, I'm off to Bermondsey to flagellate and howl.

These mass outpourings of grief seem to me to be a desire for a 'virtual' community.

As a society we can show so much compassion for someone we have never met and feel personally touched by her death, yet barely talk to our neighbours or know what's going on in on our doorsteps.

I think that is very true, pollycazalet. I hate seeing all the flowers put everywhere and think it would be much better to give them to an old, lonely neighbour, who probably never gets flowers, in memory of the person, rather than leave them on the street with no water and still in wrapping paper.

love your name, pol.

like many people i felt sad when jade died i felt sad when ivan and natasha died, it was a fleeting sadness and probably more to do with what the family left behind would have to go through, i often think that when someone famous dies it kinda gives people an outlet for their grief about their own stuff so to speak or perhaps they have yet to experience the death of someone close and so they think it is grieving.
i think you can only really grieve for someone you had some sort of connection with.
i know lots of people followed our families life throu steves illness and death, lots of people said that they had cried, lots of people sent us cards and gifts and lots of people contributed to the collection for steves Mac nurses, i know only a couple of MNtters had actually "met" steve, but i think lots of people felt that they knew us as they had walked along side us.
idon't think you can truely grieve unless your life is changed by someones death.

yes, oj, when there's a 'them'-shaped hole in your life. hope yuo're doing okay.

I am another Cazalet fan. And still annoyed that the second series wasn't shown on TV. Love the books.

I think I posted this before but the strongest feelings I had over the Diana-howlathon was wanting to administer a good slap or three to the fucking IDIOTS who took their babies and small children to queue for hours to sign the condolences books. With no food and no warm clothing for the children - I know this because an acquaintance of mine and his club of dim-but-nice bikers did a mercy drop of food, blankets and baby milk for these morons (I would have called the police and social services on them myself...)

Thanks!

Off to paint my legs with gravy browning...

I wonder if anyone ever read the diana condolences books and what happened to them

You're right about people who set off to queue and sign the condolence books without making proper preparations, sgb - but that wasn't what got my goat.

I couldn't help looking at the vast sea of flowers, and thinking how much better a memorial it would have been if the money spent on them had been donated to the charities Diana supported.

Well yes (though a vast compost heap seemed at least an amusing concept as a memorial to the silly mare IMO - if not quite as good as a mould-covered water feature for the dimwitted to break their legs in...) - it was singularly wasteful and stupid.

Ah yes - I had forgotten the fountain. Not the best ever piece of design.

whatever became of it?

maybe they use it to store all the condolence books in

Ooh, I have just thought of the only way the next z-lister can top the Goodyfest. They will have to do SOmething Useful (Oh Ok they can probably skip that part). Then get murdered for it. Then.... and this is the kicker....

After 3 days (which can be adjusted in order to meet press deadlines) they will COME BACK TO LIFE!

Then it really will be a 'Beat that' game...

I tend to think with most deaths of famous people (once I've done the "who" thing) something along the lines of "I didn't know x was still alive". Occasionally I am interested in how they went, and who they left behind, and I do quite enjoy a good obituary, but that's for people who have done something interesting, and looking back at their life reminds out of that, and sometimes you find out things you didn't know before (like I have enjoyed Paul Newman's films and knew about his salad dressings, but I didn't know how political he was, so that was interesting).

With celebrities, I tend to think "oh yes" and move on. Because what else is there to think? They lived, they had some tacky photos or show or something, which generally I wasn't really aware of, everyone talked about them for reasons unknown to me, and then they died. I didn't join in their soap opera when they were alive, why should I do so now? And if I didn't like what they stood for, or how they behaved, then I'm not exactly going to be sad that they are not in the public eye any more. Having said that the next sleb will fill the apparent hole in the mediasphere in no time at all, behaving equally as vapidly.

I did feel sorry about the chicken though

nooka good post, I think it sums it up very well

Justabout, yeah maybe, but not on live television

Have just read entire thread.

I do feel quite sad about the chicken.

Have also read entire thread whilst trying to distance myself from full horror of watching "Trophy Kids" on channel4. This is a really interesting discussion - think the comments about the right to give offence is spot on.
Also feel sad about chicken.

I could not agree more. I do believe that when someone "famous" dies, it would appear to give those who are suffering their own pains, permission to cry. I remember an article about Liz Taylor, she was asked how she managed to cry so wonderfully to cue whilst filming, and was aked if she thought of sad things that had happened to her in order to cry, she laughed and said "Hell no, if I started to cry over the bad things that had happened in my life, I would never stop!" Being allowed to grieve publically is also, I feel, an opportunity to visually and verbally express your anger at how other human beings, whom we percieve as victims, are treated, i.e., Princess Diane and her treatment by the rest of the "Firm" and Jade Goody being used by the big brother producers to up the ratings. I do not believe that this outpouring is mass hysteria, more an opportunity for many to show they are hurt and a chance to release some of the grief that they have been unable to release, for whatever reason