Famous people dying and how the public 'grieve' - a thread for discussion

[PollyFilla]

People were very upset when Princess Diana died but many felt the outpouring of grief was strange given that most of us didn't know her.

Ditto Jade Goody. Most people posting about her death didn't know her.

And likewise Natasha Richardson's sad death this week has moved a lot of people.

So this is a thread to talk about public grief and why people feel the way they do and whether it is completely normal and proper and appropriate or whether it is a symptom of how our press operates in the UK: it gives us all a lot of information on celebrities and so we feel we know them even though we don't.

I think the whole area is interesting. What do you feel in terms of grief for famous people who die and why?

pop back for a brew later - or if you're making i'll have milk no sugar please Justaboutback

I agree Aitch, but I don't suppose people get argued out of that way of being.

there wasn't any arguing on here though Boco. Eva was upset and cross, we all did talking, then she got her hair plaited. A chicken died Boco! How can you be talking about arguing at this time?

Did anyone understand Justabouts post just now? I can't make head nor tail of it

i don't know, i think some insight into what motivates us is a good thing, even if it is new information. like slug saying she could trace why she was upset, for example.

agree Aitch

do raise more than an eyebrow at some fold traveling with kids for two hours each way to lay flowers

folk

( sheep may be going too!)

lol 100x.

i think it's a north/south thing with you two. you can't hear what she's saying over the sound of her tackety boots, and she can't understand you with the plums in yer mooth.

People who are actually crying over the deaths of strangers would seem not to have enough going on in their own lives. Everyone dies, after all: someone's dying somewhere every second of every day and many of those deaths are horribly painful, most of them involved causing great grief to families and friends, but only a select few are supposed to 'matter' to the rest of the world. So I really don't ever give more than seconds worth of attention to dead strangers, whether they are slebs or caught-up-in-headline-hitting-story proles. I didn't know them so it's got fuck all to do with me.

I howl at documentries on HIV or the holocaust

that is people i don not know

See, as usual I think I position myself somewhere in the middle, crying over the dead chicken.

I don't necessarily assume that people who cry over dead celebrities don't have enough going on in their lives. I think for me to feel that sad about someone dying who I didn't know, there'd probably be quite a lot going on in my life. Like when you're pg and watch the news while wailing because it's all so sad. (is that just me?) And then when everything is fine in your life you just deal with life and shrug. I cant' see the point in writing everyone off as dribbling morons. But, I also find it odd, to get so involved in the media weirdness surrounding these people, I cant' imagine why people buy the pictures and read about it.

When I hear that someone famous has died, I feel sorrow that a family is experiencing such a sad loss, esecially if small children are involved and i suppose there is an element of "there but for the grace of god" and all that. You can't help but think "what if that were my family". But I certaintly don't grieve and i think to say you are "grieving" undermines what REAL grief is all about. I have never understood what motivates people to travel miles to "pay your respects" or lay flowers.

it's not the royal event of a lifetime i'd have chosen, if i'm honest. what was wrong with fergie's wedding?

I'm impressed, justaboutback - would a congratulatory tunnocks teacake be in order?

I wondered around when everyone was camping out and there were flowers everywhere - in the middle of the night after being in the pub - and found it really eerie and freaky, the smell of flowers was overwhelming, and there were candles under trees and it was like some little silent fairyland. Was truly bizarro. I was kind of moved by the sense of shared mourning, although didn't personally understand it. We don't do it in this country though do we, we're crap at grief generally.

When my great aunt died - her daughter had married someone from Egypt, and his relatives went to the funeral. As the coffin went behind the screen, a young egyptian woman got up and started shrieking and wailing and fell to her knees. The english people were stunned and alarmed, they only did quiet stiff dabbing. She'd only met my aunt the week before. There was something slightly shaming about it though, the way we just can't allow ourselves to express anything too openly and too noisily because it's not dignified.

lololol. and she'd only met her the week before. nutter. [culturally insensitive]

I do think these big public do's allow people to release a lot of emotion and sadness that they haven't been able to within the confines of their everyday lives.

Oh God, don't mention chickens! [dabs stiffly]

Agree that we're not openly demonstrative in our grief in this country, so perhaps what seem like 'over reactions' to diana etc are the flipside of that.

Mind you, my over-riding memory of Diana's funeral is the landlady of the pub I was working in staring woodenly at the screen and muttering darkly 'no-one will ever convince me it wasn't the Queen that did it. NO-ONE'.

ululululululululuuuuuuu!

heheheh, Cat.

I suppose it just brings it home that however famous people are, they are really just mere mortals like us and anything can happen - therefore carpe diem!