Famous people dying and how the public 'grieve' - a thread for discussion

[PollyFilla]

People were very upset when Princess Diana died but many felt the outpouring of grief was strange given that most of us didn't know her.

Ditto Jade Goody. Most people posting about her death didn't know her.

And likewise Natasha Richardson's sad death this week has moved a lot of people.

So this is a thread to talk about public grief and why people feel the way they do and whether it is completely normal and proper and appropriate or whether it is a symptom of how our press operates in the UK: it gives us all a lot of information on celebrities and so we feel we know them even though we don't.

I think the whole area is interesting. What do you feel in terms of grief for famous people who die and why?

It's a chicken, Laurie, a chicken. You can't expect your neighbour to show empathy for a chicken. Not really. If she'd turned up and burst into tears because she felt your pain about the chicken, you'd have been surprised, no? I would have been.

I don't know. I think people are empathetic on here, and in RL. But I think they're honest and tough too as a rule, which is a good thing because life is tough. But that's just what I think.

Am sorry to hear about the chicken, she said quickly, I am, honestly.

more to the point it's a dead chicken on her lawn. squick.

sorry for your loss and all that, but i do think 100x is right, you can't expect everyone to be as fond of your pets as you are. especially when the pet is a chicken, tbh.

by which i mean she may not be as aware as you think she is of the emotional connection you have with the bird.

Aitch we're digging ourselves a chicken-shaped hole here. Quick.

She appeared annoyed at the feathers on her lawn.

It is a chicken, to her. To me (and dd) it is a pet which we have had for 5 years. I would expect to say to someone, "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but your chicken is dead on my lawn".

I expect empathy for me, not the chicken

Empathy is about thinking about how others might feel, trying to walk in their shoes.

Like people on here who are sad about Jade dying. I didn't feel the same about Diana but I showed empathy for the people who were very upset - I worked for the police at the time so there were people sobbing all over the place.

Still showed empathy to them, because they were hurting.

Though actually I do think there is a trend afoot. And the trend is that if you feel something then that is justification enough, your feeling is of paramount importance, you mustn't be upset by anyone, you mustn't be offended, you MUST be understood and appreciated. It's weird. Who said?

All the mother's day threads made me think it too.

It's a worry.

(I think I can understand a certain lack of empathy over the death of a chicken though.

I mean I wouldn't seek to compare that with the death of a human being.)

I hated all the money being thrown about and the way all Jade's interviews were framed as if she was being forced to play the part of the perfect saintly terminally-ill person. That she had to conform to the way people 'expected' her to behave. What a lonely place that must have been.

Contrast that with the way Kate and Gerry McCann were treated when they failed to live up to the public's expectations of how parents should behave in that situation because Kate didn't cry during interviews, and Gerry went and played tennis.

and now you are making me laugh at the idea of you turning up at someone's front door, black top hat politely removed for the occasion, face composed, to deliver the grisly news.

i've never thought about how i would deliver a report of a chicken beheading, you've got me thinking now...

lol - laurie yes, she could have handled herself a little better I agree.

i agree 100x. life is hard enough in my shoes without having to constantly walk about in everyone else's.

the idea, for example, that people deserve respect just for being there in front of you, and that you can chip away at that reservoir by disrespecting them (although hell mend you if you do).

used to be the case that you built up respect...

It's also interesting that it appears to be absolutely fine to say anything you want to other posters on here who are actually going to read the insults, but not OK to express a negative opinion about someone who, as far as we know no one on here had exchanged a single word with. And who had chosen public figure, with all the loss of privacy that entails.

and who is, er, not around to read them...

"chosen to be a public figure" I meant.

Listen all. I am greatly sorry about my outburst and think that all this Jade business should be layed to rest. If I offended anyone, my apologies, just my hormones and loads of things playing up.
I am not one that normally attack people so reading back my posts upsets me. Sorry

did you mention to lucy mangan about her terrible taste in clothes, seeker? new shoes, lucy. and, you know, pull down your jeans a wee bit at the front...

It's so passive aggressive somehow, it'd be hard to be married to, I think.

I might make it my mission to go about causing offence, and when people say 'I'm so offended' I can say, 'who cares? it's not the end of the world, being offended, your sensibilities are not the only ones in the world, be offended, that's okay, it might even be good for you.'

It'll take some energy though won't it?

good-oh, eva. hope you feel a bit better soon.

Well that's all right then!

Oh Eva. That was generous and nice of you. I shan't offend you then

I was very sad when Paul Newman died as I;d had a 'thing' for him since I was about 5
And I felt ridiculous for feeling sad too!

I remember a woman I used to work with giving me a very hard time because I said I didn't cry when Diana died or when her funeral was on TV

No, Aitch. And I didn't get round to asking why she married Tory Boy either! Next time, maybe!