Famous people dying and how the public 'grieve' - a thread for discussion

[PollyFilla]

People were very upset when Princess Diana died but many felt the outpouring of grief was strange given that most of us didn't know her.

Ditto Jade Goody. Most people posting about her death didn't know her.

And likewise Natasha Richardson's sad death this week has moved a lot of people.

So this is a thread to talk about public grief and why people feel the way they do and whether it is completely normal and proper and appropriate or whether it is a symptom of how our press operates in the UK: it gives us all a lot of information on celebrities and so we feel we know them even though we don't.

I think the whole area is interesting. What do you feel in terms of grief for famous people who die and why?

eva that was a nice thing to do

actually, i have been having quite an interesting experience recently on that front, 100x. i've had an ear infection which has rendered me completely deaf in one ear and i've got about 50% in the other, and i've been so RUDE to people for the last week because i just cannot hear them. it's been such an eye-opener. i'm frantically apologising to people after the event, but i can see that for the brief few seconds before i explain they viewed me with new-found respect.

i have a friend who's a bit deaf (although god knows i'd never say that to her), does VERY well in her career because everyone thinks she's busy-busy chop-chop and a bit of a tartar. truth is, she can't hear anyone if she's not looking at them, so she talks over people and her voice booms. she's an absolute SOFTIE but you'd not think it.

come and talk tits instead guys

what was she saying for herself, then? and you?

Oh I loved Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy.

My mum was very sad at the deaths of John Lennon and Freddie Mercury. I think she might have actually shed tears for Freddie

Maybe I am a callous bitch...

Having never felt anything when famous people died, I strangely find myself feeling sad about Jade. The I realised. My sister died of the exact same form of cancer at the exact same age. It's obviously some form of transferance.

Oh I agree with 100X: some people put so much importance on 'feelings' that it's not only ludicrous but actually quite toxic. What about the 'right' of other people to go about their business without having their way blocked by snot-covered, slobbering morons weeping about something that's upset them? I am forver working on defending the Right To Offend because it's a vital one: too many muppets use 'taking offence' as a weapon to shut down important discussions (not that a famous corpse is a particularly important discussion, more that people harping on about their superstitions being 'respected' does serious harm to human rights campaigning). I think being offended is good for stupid people, because now and again it might make them think.

Agree v strongly about the 'right to offend' sgb.

well yes, it is rather 'my feelings are more important than your feelings', very passive aggressive.

I agree with sgb, although all the references to snot and slobbering made it hard to swallow my peanut butter sandwich so had to go away and come back when I'd finished.

(I wasn't offended though, but, had I been offended, that'd be just TOUGH, and i'd have to take my slobbering, snot filled self, somewhere different, wouldn't I)

I'm quite sad about the chicken story though, poor chicken, poor Laurie, poor Laurie's dd.

mrs garybarlow

I have said this on other threads but too tired to link!

I openly admit to truly loathing and despising Jade Goody during the Shilpa Shetty debacle

However I did alter my opinion of her over the next two years

Unlike the other two lily livered girls who sniggered and snorted with Jade at Shilpa's expense - Jade faced the public. She appeared to truly show remorse

She came from nothing. A crappy mother and absent father - without wanting to patronise her- I do actually excuse her racism on the grounds of ignorance. I feel once she saw how she had behaved it truly 'grounded' her and she learned the error of her ways

Yes she was an adult and should have learned all this when younger - but many bigots - die bigots

She was also 'not' without talent' She had an engaging manner which captured the nation - like it or not - she would not have remained in the public eye had she not continued to interest her audience

So there you are - label me a 'hypocrite' if you like. I am sad she has died but glad that she saw the error of her ways long before she became ill

No NOA, as i'm sure it's been said - I dont think that's hypocritical at all. I don't think that disapproving of someone's behaviour means you have to relish their early demise. That'd be like saying we may only criticise people we'd like to see dead.

oh it's a nonsense to say that changing one's mind makes you a hypocrite. hypocrisy, respect etc just buzzwords for people who don't express themselves that brilliantly imo.

thanks

i feel like the dragging up of old threads and then the 'where are the hypocrites from the shilpa shetty days' to be not nice

Having been offline all weekend I missed most of the thread-resurrection, but would have laughed and shrugged at it rather than worrying. I think the point is that all the ranting hate and all the ullulating, knicker-wetting grief are both really a bit excessive. A badly-educated, mouthy woman makes some unpleasant remarks on a television programme. Big Fucking Deal #1. Same badly-educated, mouthy woman gets ill and dies. To those who aren't her friends and family, Big Fucking Deal #2, really.

Hurrah SGB!

sgb that's fine by me

a lot of people genuinely feel sad

i am not ashamed of saying I feel sad when famous people that I like die

• even on here...brave me !

and i cried when freddy died !

and Paula - i was inconsolable ( no really)

Actually - do feel sorry for Jade. But it's cathartic to seeng it someone saying it

I have briefly thought, Oh dear how sad never mind what's for dinner over a few sleb deaths in the past ie if it was someone who I had paid attention to previously.
Mind you what I do find reaaaaallly grim at the moment is the tabloid trend for close-up photographs of the recently bereaved. That's icky. We all know what a crying person looks like.

Jesus, now you've added wee to all the snot and slobber. Why does it have to be so leaky?

I can understand people feeling sad. I can understand people not really feeling anything. Both fine ways to feel or not feel. Don't really follow why the arguing about it though.

ahhhh SGB - showing some cracks in the armour!!

do you have the Paula Yates memorial edition of hello - secreted under an ottoman somewhere???

it's because if you're of the feeling sad camp then anyone outwith it must be unfeeling.

tbh i think very few people wouldn't feel a waft of sadness over the fact that she's died so unnecessarily and left two wee kids, i certainly did. it's the fucked-up ness of the 'i am sat here CRYING' thing, the huge identification, that is weird to me because it's really catharsis they're after and it's got nothing to do with JG at all really.