How many times have life-disturbingly bad things happened to you in the last couple of years?

[Nighbynight]

I mean things like being burgled, being in a car accident, child in hospital, someone close to you dying, being mugged etc.

Because they seem to be happening to us on average every 2 months (7 in the last 14 months), and I am curious to know if it's the same for others, or if we are doing something wrong.

Most of ours do seem to fall into 2 categories: trouble from ex h, and problems arising from living abroad. But do other people have long quiet periods where nothing bad happens, or is our experience typical?

My dd had an episode where she stopped breathing when she was newborn I got her breathing again ,the doctors said if she had done it an hour later when we would have been in bed it would have probably resulted in SIDS ,she was on a monitor until she was 8 months old.

I got into a lot of trouble with an old council tax bill and ended up in court.

My DD was diagnosed as having dyspraxia and dyslexia.

DP lost two jobs.

We found out my cousin who is the same age as my dd has been sexually abused by her mothers BF she has been removed and is now living with her bio father.

I had a letter from the hospital confirming that they had retained my dd's organs after a PM (1998) and they ahd now been lost however I could go and pick up slides and tissue samples if I wanted .

So sorry for everyone who has had a crappy time on this thread .

In the last couple of years we've had a serious car accident and my OH's elderly grandfather died.

Seems we've been pretty lucky. I do hope your luck will change soon.

We had a year where it seems constant. In fact it all seemed to happen within a few months (june/jul/aug 2006)

heres a post I wrote on another forum at the time
'
All feeling a bit washed out today since I've been in hospital (4 weeks this thursday) the bleeding hasnt stopped
ds1 had extremely bad croup and both boys have had stinking colds (it was an a&e job).
I've had a severe case of conjuntivitus which is made me feel and look like I had been punched. Poor dh was getting looks
DH dad had a minor car crunch.
My Grandma sadly died. My poor mum is stuck here looking after dss and will most likely miss the funeral. I feel so sad for her. Shes says the living ar emore importnant at the moment bless her
and to top it off yesterday DHs mum was rear-ended in the car with MDS1 and DHs Gran in it. A lorry drove straight into the back of them and didn't even seem to make any attempt to stop. The car then went into the car in front, all in 5 cars were shunted Dhs mums car having been pushed 17 feet with the brake on. They reckon the lorry driver may have been on the phone. Luckily everyone was ok though DHs mum is very sore and has a neckbrace on and Dhs Gran has a huge bruise from the seatbelt. So glad it was an estate.
Having whinged about all that we have to keep reminding ourselves that it could have been alot worse and that everyones still (mainly) ok.'
Ds2 won't talk to me though, it makes me cry.'

my waters went that night and dd was born prem (27wks) a few days later

Some of them seem like minor things but it was horrendous at the time. Especially with things happening to my children and not being able to be there for them.

BUT its has got better and though we have our bad things life is on the up

am very sorry to hear about everyone else's experiences. gosh, this thread makes fairly depressing reading, doesnt it.

OK, still trying to make sense of it...most of the misfortunes were not preventable. but I think in my case, I got very down, absorbed in worries and expecting bad things to happen, and sub-consciously, wasnt as careful as I could have been - which led to 2 car accidents and my bag (passport, keys etc) being stolen. (in my right mind, I should have KNOWN that it wasnt smart to leave it in the supermarket trolley)

so if there's a lesson, I guess it's to try and put things quickly behind you and stay positive.
I read L Ron Hubbard's Dianetics recently, which talks about a triangle, with aims and goals at the top, good things on the RHS and bad things on the LHS - so when something bad happens, you just park it in the bottom LH corner, and keep your eyes on the goals at the top of the triangle.
I find this mental image quite helpful.

I have had 2 friends killed. both high profile murders. a neighbour hung himself, had my car broken into and smashed up, xp usedmy name to run up huge amount of bills and didn't pay them, had treatment for cervical cancer..but on a lighter note..i met my new man!

dh's family went through a truly appalling period a few years ago. Two deaths from cancer of close family members (grandmother and aunt), two deaths in random, shocking accidents (a cousin and a SIL), a very messy divorce in exceptionally upsetting circumstances and my FIL's business being defrauded by a senior employee for a very large amount of money. It just seemed to be one piece of bad news after another.

What really struck me was how everyone coped with these awful events, and how they all drew so much comfort from each other. My MIL in particular told me recently the only thing that got her through it was knowing that she had a close and supportive family.

I genuinely think it was just one of those things - a lot of different events all happening close together, but all unrelated. I think sometimes bad events are related - particularly when they are financial, but not in this case. Just dreadfully bad luck.

Things have improved a lot over the last few years - MIL told me the other day it dates back to the day dd was born (her first grandchild) and that she felt able to put all the bad stuff behind her after that because it felt like a fresh start.

We've had long runs of this; illness, financial catastrophes, Nan dying, DH almost dying, two boys getting obvious signs of ASD all together.

Bt you do get a break eventually. I hope its soon for you.

My friend has lost a parent, the other one was injured, undergone treatment for cancer, been diagnosed with ME and now her partner is very ill in hospital. She's also lost a pet and has taken on huge amounts at work.

I think we have to appreciate the good times when we hear what other experience - you never know what's around the corner.

In the last few years I have;

• Lost my Dad
• Lost my FIL
• Lost 3 Grandparents
• Lost 3 Uncles
• Had one sister have her throat cut through domestic violence
• Had another sister loose the use of her right arm in a botched removal of a small lump in her neck
• My DH was made redundant
• Helped one of my best friends through a marriage break up

I've got to the point now that I dont want to answer the phone as I dont think I can take anymore bad news.

Yes I agree that luck runs in cycles
when i was younger got a casual job which turned into a fab career going to London and hobnobbing with famous ! but then followed a man out job and Londonand
I had baby in sept postnatal dep at xmas then meningitis in march had to move then decided to move back to original place ! then divorced.
Hopefully now its changing,my kids are ok have a nice house dog a partime job and am happyish.

Most of my problems in the last 2 or 3 years were similar to those I've had all my life: lack of confidence resulting things happening or not happening that ought to have done; ill-health in various members of my family which have driven me to the edge at times either resentful or angry at them for being ill. My Dad was in hospital for 5 weeks last summer having an op/post-op care he could have had some years ago. My Mum had a hernia op which turned into a appendectomy after a thyroid op the year before. Also a very on/off relationship for a very long time with a highly-strung man ditto myself and disappointments therein. I'm not proud of what I did in some parts of this relationship but I am beginning to accept that what I want I am unlikely to get and for both my own and his sake, I should let him go.

I'm surprised I've not been brought to my knees at times tbh. But there is always going to be someone worse off than you, small comfort as it might be.

• 5 deaths
• redundancy and subsequent tribunal
• disability

But don't feel too unlucky actually - don't know why!

In the past few years my dad has had pneumonia, dp lost his nan, I lost both of mine. My mums cousin, who I was very fond of, died suddenly, far too young. His wife died not long after. My mum had to have a major operation and was poorly for a long time. A family friend died of cancer and mum was too ill to go to her funeral. I had a pulmonary embolism just before Christmas and now dps business has gone into liquidation.

Dp says these things are a test of strength, think I've had enough testing for now.