please could I have a hug, or a soothing bit of sympathy......

[PsychoAxeMurdererMum]

have finally reached my quota of enough.

aunty, mother, teenage DD who made it plain sh did not want to be there, me feeling sick with fear of being there, a 6yo DS who is just being hell right now, shite letter from the solicitor about the car accident (seems all is not ok on that score), a comment from a friend about DS2 and his screaming tantrums............

and now I have realised that I have done to my children the very thing I promised never to do................I am a shit bad mum and am on the edge

sorry, majorly feeling sorry for myself

we go, just us!

MIL just popped in and out, grabbing some toys her friend is buying off me for her grandson, and I just sobbed all over her...am not as positive as I thought, and she says it sounds like we won;t get anything for the car accident and she read the letter too, so I now have no idea.

she did say that I don;t need my family, I have them.......very true, but I still want my family. I just want the family I think I should have tho, not the one I have got, does that make sense.

god, days like this make me feel so jealous of those with normal mums, and then I feel sick with guilt as that is not me.......I hate feeling like this....

I have no advice on accepting the family you have - I sulk about my dad too much for that

What does this letter say?

Glad you have MIL that is supportive and lovely from the sounds of today at least.
Sometimes all it takes is someone to be kind and it sets us/me off again!

Bad luck re the accident insurance thing

seems that altho he was driving, he had swapped ownership over according to the dates on the DVLA letter he sent.

BUT

the car was still insured in his name......

problem is that as the DVLA letter was dated to just before the accident then it voids the insurance, so basically he was driving illegaly.......but it means I have no way of getting compensation.

DH says I do as there is a find for things like this, MIL says otherwise, I just wanna kill him! (the driver.......well, not a serious threat you understand, I am venting)

MIL is lovely. She irritates me at times, but I love her and PIL dearly, and they prove their love for me time and time again (in fact, I can tell on DH to them and they would tell him off for me if I said so).

if I could chooose a mum, it would have been her!

I thought that with no insurance you can sue him personally or summat

oooh........well, that is interesting.

can;t I just threaten him with doom and plagues of biblical proportions???

that won't give me money tho will it

your mil and fil sound lovely.i was very close to my mil.i dont really know about your relationship with your mum and aunt but wanted to say that your doing better than me.i have erased a generation from my family.my 'grandparents'(i never call them that) on my mums side.both for different reasons.as far as dc are concerned my grandparents are what is in truth my great grandparents(now long gone sadly).which is such a terrible lie i think sometimes but easier than the truth.so you are doing well.as for chair throwing and walking out-your human-we all flip occasionaly and you walked out which imo is better than not if you feel like that.

thankyou cheesesarnie

am feeling much better this evening, hecate is lovely and just having a 'normal' day so helped IYGWIM.

I wish I could divorce my mother and aunt tho.

pretend too.

glad youve had good day

I just might.

yep, nothing like a good day with fab friends and making a new one

aww that sounds nice

@ today being "normal"

well, as normal as normal gets in my world

Sorry you are having a hard time, if it makes you feel anybetter I had a huge meltdown today and ended up yelling at everyone before storming out. I think I managed to cause a stir amongst my elderly neighbours.

oh no twinset my neighbours are moving... I am not 100% convinced it isn't my fault

I don't think our new neighbours know what to make of us we are the only family and everone is older than us by about 40 years.

I had a nice afternoon actually pottering around in Blandford on my own with no nagging child.

oh no twinset.

but, are you ok now??

I do find that sometimes, a meltdown is the best way to offload, rather than sniping and being a bitch (my other great talent).

for you too.

I am fine, walked off my stress and had a bit of retail therapy and then came back to decorate the house for tomorrow. Feeling a bit of a cow though have apologised repeatedly to dd,

retail therapy is always good (anad needed lots I find).

I didn;t get that break.....I sat on the doorstep and sobbed and then felt silly as all the neighbours could have seen so easily, so came in again, and my friend came round.

DS2 felt bad tho......he really can press all the buttons and he is only 6........still so small, and yet, and yet.....(YGWIM).

don;t feel bad. they soon forget, especially when they have a party to look forward to