Is depression taken seriously enough?

[Peaches]

I've had depression for three years and to me it seems like the modern society still has not moved forward in this area.I feel that it is not being taken seriously.My G.P handed out prozac and for a while I believed I would get better taking this drug everyday.I haven't taken this drug for four months now and I don't miss it.In fact I can't work out what it actually did for me.What I needed was to be able to talk.I had therapy sessions (only temporary mind you then she left and never was replaced),they were the best thing for me. I could vent my anger out about how I felt and she would never judge me just ask me to think about why I was actually feeling the way I did. I not saying the drugs should not be used, but the doctors should not hand them out so easily.The older generation were always told to get on with their lives,feeling depressed and low was not a complaint you went to the doctors with twenty years ago.Does anyone else feel they haven't been treated the way they should have been. We need greater support barriers, we do not need to be waiting months on the NHS waiting list to see shrinks.

Peaches, if there is a local college that runs nursery nurse [or similar] courses, you can apply to have a student come to help you out. It's good experience for them to handle real children and gives you a break, too.

Peaches, the Homestart situation (or lack of it) is truly frustrating. However, don't despair. There must be somekind of help out there for you.

I think we are going to take up Chairmum's suggestion with regard to a babysitter. We really need a babysitter and a local college with the appropriate course seems like a good place to look.

I am glad that the tiredness is getting a little better. As for coping with your third; you will but I think you know that you need some support. Three small children is hard work at the best of times. What has happened re. your medication now you are pregnant? And just out of curiosity (so tell me to mind my own business, if you like) in what ways do you find your daughter so difficult?

Thanks for the words about the job. I know I simply have to keep looking...
Thinking of you. Take care Winnie

peaches, a friend of mine who had 3 under-4's (her third was born just after the eldest's 3rd birthday and the middle one was right in the middle - 18 months) had a nursery nurse student for a month and found it helpful.

1998 is a tiger, by the way - not necessarily fierce with big teeth! i don't really know any so don't know much about them...you might find a book in the library if you want to pursue it!

Peaches, I can't help adding to this thread as what you describe sounds just like me when I was suffering from a candida infection and food reactions around 10 years ago. I remember very well the depression and endless tiredness that made it impossible to go about actually seeking a recovery, especially as the NHS was about as helpful and relevant as how you have described your experiences of them to be. Do you ache all the time as well, or is it pure depression? I eventually got referred to Dr Jonathan Brostoff in London, but to see him you have to be referred by a GP. I had to go and sit in my GP's surgery and refuse Prozac and cry and say that I refused to believe that I could get better until I had seen this doctor. The GP clearly thought I was unhinged, but referred me anyway. I had gained a fairly clear idea of what was wrong by reading books though, so I was pretty sure I was backing a winner, which turned out to be the case. I think Dr Brostoff is an ME/post viral syndrome specialist, but he has seen a lot of depressed people! And there are more treatments out there than just handing out drugs to treat the symptoms. That sort of thing has its place, as depression becomes a habit that is hard to break, but you need to sort out the source of the illness as well, or the anti depressant drugs can't really have a long term benefit. Whatever you do, don't give up on trying to get to the root of the problem and fix it, as there is definitely life after depression!

On a general point related to the title of this thread, I bought the Daily Mail at the weekend (telly pages, honest!) and noticed a snide aside that "money can't buy happiness, as the Duke of Westminster was treated for depression last year" This just shows how depression is viewed by many people, as not being serious!! If the unfortunate man had had some other illness, I doubt even the Daily Mail would have found it acceptable to gloat about money not being able to buy health!

Dear Peaches
Even though I haven't posted to this thread before you have often been in my thoughts. I hope you're feeling better after your scare at the weekend: as others have said, it's quite common to get this bleeding around the time of when your period would have come. I had it myself and know how scary it can be. After it happened I had a completely straightforward pregnancy and I wish the same for you.
I came across this website the other day, and given that Homestart don't operate near you, thought you might find it helpful: Meet a Mum. It apparently puts isolated mums in touch with each other. I don't think they have a group near you (Harrow's too far, isn't it?) but they will also help individuals.
Take care.

If you're thinking of contacting a college about babysitting, Peaches and Winnie, thought you might like to know how positive my experience has been of this.

A few months ago a friend and I followed the babysitting/nursery couse college advice posted on a mumsnet board. My friend contacted the college one morning. That same afternoon we had a reply that lead to not one but two local and very experienced college-based babysitters.

They had references, lots of local knowledge (so good at getting you in touch with other parent-and-child-based services and activities), ample experience of looking after children of all ages and they were police-checked. They have babysat both days and evenings many times, with great success all round.

This is not quite the same as Chairmum's suggestion of getting in a nursery college student to help you out, since we pay the going rate for the babysitting service. I assume you do not pay this for the student(?). But whatever service you want, a college could be a good place to consider.

Peaches, thinking of you. Hope you find the support you need. Take care.

Just to say,thanks for all your advice.I will message tomorrow night as I'm feeling totally knackered tonight.

Take care all,
Peaches

Tigermoth, thanks for the advice. I will keep it in mind when I approach the college later this week.

Peaches, I hope that you got a good nights sleep.
Thinking of you. Take care.

Batters, I pay babysitters £4.00 an hour, asking around, this seems to be the going rate in S E London, plus various extras according to situation:
I pay for a taxi home, even if they are collected by their father in his car. Also if they babysit when my two sons are awake and active I give them a lttle more, ie round it up from £26.00, including taxi fare, to £30.00.

Just a quickie,things haven't gone well today.Your idea's about a babysitter are great but I don't know if I could afford one at that rate.Infact I don't know how I'm going to cope full stop.Things are just too much.Why can't I cope with life?I feeling like it's too much to bear.I don't know what to do next.

Peaches

Peaches, I wish that I could say something that would help you! I am so sorry that you are feeling the way you are. You must not despair. People do get better from depression. My Father did, and frankly, I thought he was a lost cause!
Have you seen any professionals regarding your situation since you came out of hospital? Did you look up the Meet A Mum website Marina left a message about? If their is a group in your area they might be able to help you feel less isolated.
Take care of yourself,
Thinking of you, Winnie

Hi,

I have re-read the message I left last night.I do feel like that still.I am going to see my doctor bvut it can't be until the 15th of this month.Just over a week.Problem is,won't she say it's my hormones making me feel worse.I'm sorry if I worried anyone.It's just I am feeling alot of despair and frustration.I can't seem to channel it.I did try Meet a mum,there are no groups in this area and no mums either.They searched their data base for me.I just feel there is no help out there for me.
Anyway take care,i'll post soon!
Peaches

Peaches, thinking of you, best wishes and many hugs, Winnie

Hi,

Just wondering how everyone's weekend is going.I'm feeling tired,it's quick bad actually and housework is beginning to pile up.My husband is great,cooking dinner's and cleaning up afterwards.Looking after the kids while I have a nap etc.But I can't expect him to carry on doing it.Any suggestions for really high energy food,just enough to get some chores done anyway.

Take care all,
Peaches

Peaches, Hi...I am fine. Got to a beach at the weekend so that was great! The baby loved it!
But he just loves being out and about (like the rest of us!)

Don't feel too bad about your husbands input, make the most of it... you need to put your feet up a bit... as for high energy food bananas are a great 'instant' food. Other than the tiredness how are you doing? Have you told the children you are pregnant yet? How are your extended family being towards you now that you are pregnant?

Thinking of you. Take care, Winnie

Have you thought of taking a vitamin supplement for pregnant mums... it will ensure that you have all the right stuff in you and that usually helps with the tiredness.
Otherwise I agree with bananas... also orange juice (fresh) and a bit (BIT) of chocolate... but don't be tempetd with tea and coffee.
Good luck

Hi Peaches
I have just done a bit of digging on the web about PND. Apologies if you've already found all this stuff.
This is a site set up by a man to support men whose partners have PND, it's got loads of info:
www.pndinfo.co.uk
I found the following addresses on that site:

Threshold tel 01273 626444
This is an organisation based in Brighton which can give help and support to sufferers.

APNI
25 Jerdan Place
London SW6 1BE
Similar to Threshold I think.

The NCT is also mentioned as a source of help. Their national helplines should be in your local phone book.

There are also several people's stories to read. Typical experiences seem to be of being ill for several years, and of getting better after a course of drugs. The UK stories didn't specify what drug they were taking though. An Australian site accessed via pndinfo.co.uk mentioned drugs called Prothiaden, Nortabs and Tricyclics. I didn't see Prozac mentioned anywhere - not sure why.

The overwhelming message on all these sites was that people do get better when treated for PND. One suggestion that I thought was quite constructive was to give each day a score out of 10 - that way when you have a bad day, you won't forget the better days - and hopefully you'll soon be having more better days than bad days.

Hi,

How is everyone?Thanks for advice about foods.have tried it but something is worrying me.I keep having bad dizzy spells and it takes me about 20 minutes to recover properly,does anyone think this is a problem?I due to see the doc on Friday and I will discuss it then.Thanks for the addresses Sml,I'm going to have a look after I finish this message.Winnie,how are you?My family isn't happy I'm pregnant again.Infact my mum has made it pretty clear that if I had miscarried it would be the best thing for me.The support is lacking there abit.

Anyway take care all,post soon!
Peaches

Peaches, the dizzy spells do sound worrying. I would get to a doctor asap. It is always better to be safe than sorry. You may have High Blood Pressure which has to be monitored when pregnant. I had HBP when pregnant and controlled it by having weekly reflexology... but don't worry about it (once again easier said than done!)
And then again, a friend of ine had a lot of dizziness in pregnancy for no apparant reason... it could simply be 'being pregnant'.

As for your Mother's words of wisdom ??!*! (Urgh!) Some people really have no idea do they? I can understand how hurt and let down you must feel. Do you see her often? It must be terribly undermining and discouraging (to say the least). Does she (or other members of your family -besides you husband-) help you at all? My extended family are on a different planet to me and I have learnt to expect nothing but it is a hard lesson in life and took me a long time to accept. We all see each other but my partner & I have set boundaries. My partner loathes my mother (with some reason) and this can cause tension because he thinks I let her walk all over me but at the end of the day I made a decision not to forsake her and to have her remain in my life so as an adult I rationalise that I cannot change her and therefore must simply accept the situation...not like a door mat but some how, with ones mother, it's never quite that simple is it? (which is probably why I am rambling!)...

Keep posting Peaches, hope you are okay, best wishes Winnie

Hi Peaches
Re. dizzy spells. I had same during pregnancy and thankfully in my case it wasn't HBP but needed iron tablets. they really helped.
Hope you feel much better soon.

Dizziness, especially in early pregancy, can be caused by low blood pressure, too. Anaemia might also be a reason for it. But it does need checking out, even if it's just to put your mind at rest.

Peaches, How are you? Thinking of you, Winnie

Hi Winnie,

Sorry I haven't posted for a while,our house is currently out of bounds due to the flu.All four of us have got it.Not good really,but anyway hope you are ok.I read your message on the father's day board about how you are really happy with life.It cheered me up cause it's nice to know other people are happy.We are hopefully going to Scotland for a week in September.It will be good to get away.

I will message again soon!
Peaches

Peaches, sorry to hear you are all unwell... hope you are feeling well again soon, Best wishes Winnie