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Original poster

Is depression taken seriously enough?

151 replies

Peaches · 14/04/2001 00:03

I've had depression for three years and to me it seems like the modern society still has not moved forward in this area.I feel that it is not being taken seriously.My G.P handed out prozac and for a while I believed I would get better taking this drug everyday.I haven't taken this drug for four months now and I don't miss it.In fact I can't work out what it actually did for me.What I needed was to be able to talk.I had therapy sessions (only temporary mind you then she left and never was replaced),they were the best thing for me. I could vent my anger out about how I felt and she would never judge me just ask me to think about why I was actually feeling the way I did. I not saying the drugs should not be used, but the doctors should not hand them out so easily.The older generation were always told to get on with their lives,feeling depressed and low was not a complaint you went to the doctors with twenty years ago.Does anyone else feel they haven't been treated the way they should have been. We need greater support barriers, we do not need to be waiting months on the NHS waiting list to see shrinks.

OP posts:
Twinsmum · 12/05/2001 09:31

Hi Peaches. My computers having a crisis. children/milk/keyboard - not a good combination so I won't be able to log in at home for a while. (I've come in to work to finish something off) Anyway just wanted to say hope everything goes ok with doctor!! Will be thinking of you.
I'll try and log on later in week to see how you're getting on.
PS> Agree totally re. double buggies. I'm sure things will start to get easier for you when you don't have to lug that around everywhere.

Original poster
Peaches · 12/05/2001 09:44

Hi all,
Just to say thanks for the encouraging words about the doc's on Monday.I will let you know how it goes.I'm trying to think I must stay strong,but it is a bit difficult at the mo.Many things are filling up my weary brain.Hope you have a great weekend,this weather is fab.

Take Care All,
Peaches

OP posts:
Mooma · 13/05/2001 08:42

Dear Peaches,
I've just started reading the boards again after a month, having been in hospital and now convalescing. I hope you will get some appropriate support from your GP. One thing that strikes me from reading your messages is that you seem to lack a network of friends and acquaintances who might be able to offer you practical and emotional help. Do you spend a lot of time alone with your children? I think if you could seek out some sympathetic adult company you might feel less alone. I know it is very hard to be proactive when you are feeling down, but the first step is the hardest.
Also, you have two very young, demanding children, so you need to make sure you get a break sometimes. One of my best escape routes has been using the creche at the gym, and the other is evening classes - where no-one knows you have kids and people are interested in you for yourself, not as someone's wife or mum. Re the gym, exercise boosts serontonin levels in the brain and can help to alleviate depression.
A member of my family has been suffering from depression over the past year and is currently on prozac. One important piece of advice they were given was that you shouldn't come off it suddenly, but gradually, and also that you need to take it for at least six months to get the maximum benefit. Did you give it the chance to work? Please don't think I'm criticising you, I'm just trying to think of different things that might help. I've learned a lot whilst my relative has been ill, and you have my heartfelt best wishes, Mooma XX

Winnie · 14/05/2001 18:07

Peaches, Hi... How did it go? How are you? Hope your appointment went okay. Thinking of you

Original poster
Peaches · 14/05/2001 21:15

Hi All,
I went today to get her to hurry things along.There is nothing I can do,everybody is in the same boat apparently.It doesn't go in order of priority.So yes nothing has changed in that department.I could be waiting another 6 months.I know what you are thinking,I should have pushed harder.It's difficult though I had something else on my mind.I'm six weeks pregnant,probably the reason for the couple of really bad weeks I've had.I don't know what to say really.Mooma I read your message with interest.I wish I could do things like join a gym where they have creche facilities but money is tight as my husband is the sole earner.I get out with my children when I can but my eldest has behaviour problems.I am trying to help myself,but alot of it also is having people around you knowing how your feeling.
Being there for you and not judging you,I think you know what I mean.I'd better go now,I don't really know what more to say.....apart from I don't know how my life's gonna turn out and I'm pretty much scared about how I'm going to cope.

Take Care,
Peaches

OP posts:
Janh · 15/05/2001 09:31

peaches, i've just read this whole board and i wish i could do something for you. you do sound so unhappy and as if life has never been what you would have wanted...being called stupid by your dad, and not being helped when your sister is, is so unkind of your family - no wonder you feel so alone. you are doing the best you can for your children but there is no way they can understand how you feel.
where i live there is a scheme called (i think) home start where people who have been through parenting themselves visit, and help out with, young families where the parents are having a hard time - it's voluntary and i think health visitors help put people in touch. it gives you someone to talk to, a family friend hopefully and maybe a bit of relief if one child, or both children, can be safely taken out for a bit and give you a break.
is there anything like that where you are? if not maybe you could mention it at clinic or something? i'm sure it's supposed to be a national scheme...

Winnie · 15/05/2001 09:58

Peaches, if I was with you I'd give you a hug! I can't imagine how you are feeling but don't give up... life can get better. Does your doctor know that you are pregnant and have you been able to discuss this with him/her with regard your medication? I too wish there was something I could do. The mental health system in this country sucks (I know this because of my fathers treatment) however, there must be a solution to you getting some form of counselling... Have you contacted your local Mind group? I know, when you are feeling awful it is just too much effort... One suggestion is that you see someone privately. It is expensive but I saw a qualified counsellor in Cardiff for a while and she saw people with low incomes at a reduced rate. I know money is 'tight' but you are a priority. You deserve some help. Even if it means going without something else, for a while (until you get to see someone on the NHS) £20 a week is worth it. Also, I don't want to seem judgemental but if your husband could have the children for a couple of hours a week just so you can get out on your own, to visit a friend, look round a gallery, go for a walk... anything, it might make all the difference. Keep signing on here Peaches, there are lots of people who care and want you to get well. Thinking of you. Love and best wishes Winnie

Debsb · 15/05/2001 11:08

Peaches - where about are you? Maybe someone here will know of good places to go in your area. Please try & take care of yourself, but I know it's not easy with children the age of yours. Do you have any friends with kids of similar ages? When mine were little I had 2 friends with kids exactly the same age, and we all got very depressed at times (although I know tht is different), but your situation is bound to make you feel rough. Just keep talking, we may not be able to do much but we do think of you.

Jac · 15/05/2001 12:16

Hi peaches. I'm sorry your appointment wasn't too good. Also I can understand your apprehension at being pregnant again. I was so exhausted at the beginning of my second pregnancy and wondered how I was going to cope, still wonder sometimes. I agree with going down the private route if you can.

Take care and keep us posted.

Janh · 15/05/2001 13:30

debsb, peaches lives in heston - near heathrow - she put that on the "where the hell are you?" board or whatever it's called. it'll come under hounslow or thereabouts - anybody have any contacts down there?

Chairmum · 15/05/2001 19:55

If it would help, you could get in contact with others who are/have been in the same boat, either through the NCT or the Association for Postnatal Illness.
NCT has an experiences register and also details of helpful organistions. You don't need to be a member to use their services.
www.nct-online.org www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com

The Association for Postnatal Illness will also help you with fact sheets and putting you in touich with other mums going through the same.
www.apni.org

Original poster
Peaches · 15/05/2001 20:08

God,you have all overwhelmed me.Thank you for being there,your support is one of the only things that is keeping me ticking at the moment.When I went to the doctor's yesterday we discussed that I will go on medication straight after the birth in Jan.She is also going to try and hurry my pyscotherapy appointment along.She warned me with that though that things will get worse before they get better.I know all that but I'm desperate for help.I do not know how longer I can cope with this.I will try to find out about Homestart.I think that might help,are there any restrictions though?I mean my husband works and in this society if one of you works you are automatically classed as having money.I hate the government,those sort of people do not know what it's like in the real world.How can they work out our budget,I mean I got an increase of £3.40 a month on my child benefit.All I can say is WOW!What the hell is let gonna buy,it's not enough for a packet of nappies.I'm sorry I do not know what's going on at the moment.I think things are beginning to really sink in.Janh you asked where I am,I'm just off the A4 or Junction 3 on the M4.As I said many thanks to all of you for being there for me.I am grateful,if only there is something I can do for you all in return.This message board should be called the ever rolling roller coaster ride of peaches (Ha,Ha)I've got to laugh all I think I'm going to cry.

Take Care,hope to hear from you soon!
Peaches

OP posts:
Winnie · 16/05/2001 08:40

Hi Peaches, how are you doing today? I hope you have been able to get to the sites chairmum suggested. Thinking of you. Best wishes x

Star · 16/05/2001 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Janh · 16/05/2001 08:53

hi again, peaches - i wrote a message last night but obviously didn't press the last button.
i'm sure home start ignores things like being in work etc - if you need help you can have it - though how soon would depend on availability of volunteers. star's message is near the bottom of the page, april 23rd, i didn't notice it when i read through before...
try to get in touch today!
good luck!
janxxx

Twinsmum · 16/05/2001 14:31

Hi Peaches....sorry about the appointment. I could write lots of swear words and say what I really think about doctors who don't follow their patients through properly, but I'm sure you've got the idea of what I think!
Homestart is available for any families with young children who need help. (Not to do with salary as far as I know.)
I also think it would be worth you contacting your local colleges now for when the baby is born. Places with people training to be nannies etc are often looking for work experience for them. the only proviso is usually that you need to have a baby as well as an older child so that they get a variety of experience. You also can only treat them as mothers helps rather than nannies (so you need to be in the house), but at least it would give you breathing space.

Original poster
Peaches · 16/05/2001 21:59

Hi,
This is the only chance I've had today to get online.So I will try and ring Homestart in the morning.I'm also going to talk to my keyworker at my family sessions on Friday to see if she can help.I will try and do all the things that you are suggesting but at the moment I am finding it hard to get motivated.I sometimes think what's the point,I've not had a good day today.

Peaches

OP posts:
Winnie · 17/05/2001 09:08

Hi Peaches, sorry you had a bad day yesterday. How are you feeling physically re: being pregnant?

Did you get chance to do something about Homestart? The trainee Nanny idea seems like a good one, as does the contacting a PND group. However, I can empathise with you that it all seems too much effort. However, you must keep in mind that you deserve help and support. It is good that the powers that be are at least taking the situation more seriously now but the fact that your situation is not classed as an emergency is utterly disgusting.

Let us know how your day has been today?

Thinking of you. Take care Winnie

Jac · 17/05/2001 10:07

Hi peaches, sorry about your day yesterday. Hope you manage to contact someone today. Good luck.

Take care.

Rachel1969 · 17/05/2001 13:28

Midge - any chance you'd do something with me for our Health section (Femail) on how docs don't always get it right. I'm working on a piece at the moment and have just interviewed a woman who was told she didn't need to be screened for bowel cancer (even though her mother and grandmother had died from the disease aged 50) but was urged to go to another GP by her son, who lives in States where they're really on top of bowel cancer. To cut long story short, she was screened and did have bowel cancer.
You can email me at [email protected]. if you like.

Original poster
Peaches · 17/05/2001 20:45

Hi Winnie & all,

I'm not feeling great re:pregnancy.Infact it has hit really quickly,I am so tired.Maybe it's because I've got two small children to look after as well though.I got a multi vit supplement today so hopefully that will give me a boost of anything I'm lacking in.I'm going to my session tomorrow,I will enquire about homestart there and tell them that I am interested in that service.I will enquire about the trainee nannies tomorrow also.I am at the centre for 4 hrs in the morning so I will ask them what else is on offer also.

Take Care All,
Peaches

OP posts:
Winnie · 18/05/2001 08:54

Peaches, just wrote you a long post but got cut off (am on a laptop). Bloody annoying! Anyway, glad you seem a little more motivated today. You MUST look after yourself too! I sympathise with the tiredness, I remember the early pregnancy exhaustion when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for a week or two. With two small children & pnd it must be horrid. I know its not easy but try and treat yourself, even small things help: a bath (without the kids); a bar of your fav. choc; a bunch of flowers... you deserve it!

I hope your appointment went well. Must fly, thinking of you x

Original poster
Peaches · 19/05/2001 18:18

Hi,
The session was a disaster,my daughter was attacked by another child.She now has two gauges in her face,a great present for her birthday tomorrow.I have lodged a complaint and will not be attending until it's sorted.I was crying most of the day and by the end of the day my eyes were really sore.I went to bed at 8.15pm.The reason why I didn't post last night.It's typical,why do things alway's happen to us as a family.My daughter wouldn't hurt anyone,for god sake she's scared of ants.It makes me so angry.Every one has their own views on parenting but violence should not be allowed.I'm sorry to have gone on,hope you are ok.

Peaches

OP posts:
Jac · 20/05/2001 09:47

Oh Peaches, I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say. I really really hope things will improve soon. Hope your daughter is ok too poor thing.

Perhaps your hubby will take the children off for a little while so you can have time to yourself, you need rest in these early stages of pregnancy. Try taking iron tablets they really helped me at the beginning, actually I'm back on them now as I've had tonsillitis twice in the space of 2 weeks and it's a sure sign of me getting run down. It really is amazing how much better I feel taking them, you will of course get them free so another excuse to go to the doctors (not that you need one!)

Take care, look forward and tell yourself that you will get better.

Janh · 20/05/2001 12:13

peaches, bad luck about the scratches for you and your daughter but things like that do happen - the timing is awful for you at the moment but try not to look on it as personal. lots of hugs for your daughter to make you both feel better?

have you found out about homestart or the trainee nannies yet? having 3 (or 2 and a bit at the moment!) pre-school children should certainly get you a nanny for a few weeks - and a homestart person if there's one available. i know it's hard to get motivated when you feel so low - or even to get out of bed sometimes - but it will help you so it's worth it.

please try!

love jan xxx