Hi Peaches, I wonder if you have a close friend that you could talk to, and I don't mean chit chat, I mean really talk to, someone who will listen to the nitty gritty and not be pass remarkable. Depression is still not taken seriously enough by many, even in the medical profession. I do wonder though if your medication is helping in one way, but holding you back in another, i.e. the balance is not right. Has your GP checked your chemical balances?, and done other blood tests as well, I had so many blood tests I'm was quite sure I was having a date with Dracula!. The root of my depression was Delayed Bereavement, on top of other things as well. Go back to your GP, but before you go, ask some of your friends if they have noticed any difference in your mannerisms, behaviour etc. I did and was shocked to find some of the things they saw, like being agressive to my husband, in fact really vile to him, and to my mother and to the very friend who helped and advised me to go the doc. If you don't want to ask friends, then keep a diary of how you feel for one week, what you eat, drink, when you go to be bed, how long you sleep, if you feel tired, write down the time you feel tired no matter what time of day.
One thing I do advise is, if you cannot talk to anyone, write down how you feel don't keep it locked away, let your feelings either good or bad out, don't keep them bottled up. The last medication I was on was called Dothiepin, it helped me sleep and made me calm down a bit, because I couldn't sit still, literally I just fidgeted the whole time, even if we were out for a meal. If I got fed up when we were out I'd get up and leave without a word to anyone, leaving my husband to face all our friends, I was lucky none of them judged me, well one did and told me to pull myself together, I never said a word, my husband who I had been so horrible to, did explain to him why I was like that.
Please keep writing on this board, and I am thinking about you.