Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

Problems with Nursery

69 replies

crystal1 · 21/02/2003 15:43

Hi, I hope someone can give me some advice on a major problem I am having.
In dec last year I was called into my 2 Yr olds nursery for a discussion.
I was told over the phone that it was nothing too much to worry about, I went in the next day and two members of staff took me to the upstairs office and informed me that a member of staff had reported over-hearing another member of staff saying she wanted to flush my sons head down the toilet.
After many shed tears i left having to go to work...I was far too upset to be at work and my boos was very understanding and said I should do whatever i needed to do.
So i went back to the Nursery to collect my son.
on the way out I was given a number to call for Social Services.
When i arrived home I called social services, I was advised of everything that was going to happen re a full investigation etc..
I asked if the threat had been made directly to my child or to another person about him she said what have they told you? So i relayed the story and she told me it was made to him.
Five minutes later she called me and asked me for my address she needed to come to see me.
She came round to my parents house and then began to tell me that she had been informed the threat had actually taken place, the girl was seen by another member of staff holding my son by the ankles head first into a flushing tiolet.
i was told that the police were giong to see this girl with the social worker later that day or early the next morning, this never happend.
I was also told by the area manger for the nursery in question that one person had seen the incident and three others heard the comotion,
she also had the cheek to ask if I would be taking my son the christmas party! She also told me they would be taking written statements from these witnesses and they would be given to the police.
She wanted to keep the lines of communication open between us and was going to keep me informed on the situation.
I didnt hear from her again.
I reported all of this to the police and a log wasnt created until I reported it!
I was informed by a member of the child protection team that he wanted to speak to this member if staff and was going to try for a criminal prosecution.
It wasnt until after New Year that he called me to let me know what was happening, he told me that she had recieved a warning but she had denied everything.
He said he was satisfied that she didntdo it and didnt have any witness statements to suggest otherwise.
I had been informed by an old school friend that her friend was the person who saw it happen and that she had been told by the nursery not to talk to anyone about it.
I now am expected to believe that the social worker was not told that there was a witness
who had seen it but had come to that conclusion herself!
I have spoken to a girl that worked at the nursery who heard this girl say to her mum(who works in the kitchen at nursery) that she did it, yet the police dont seem to be interested in this information..

I would appreciate any advice you have on this as I am at my wits end.

OP posts:
griffy · 25/04/2003 15:24

How frustrating. With no prospect of anyone directly talking, how about fronting the directors/shareholders with the full story, including your knowledge that they have covered up? It's a bit of a long shot, but might embarrass them into action.

State the facts and demand acknowledgment, a full explanation and an apology. Avoid any criticism of external agencies, or any mention of disappearing files, since if you do get acknowledgment etc, you'll be hot-footing it to those agencies as proof so that they can take it up with legal action. CC the letter to everybody who has been involved from the word go, and explain that you are holding that individual director/shareholder personally responsible, since they run/own the company.

Ask the following:

Are you satisfied that children are being cared for adequately by the company that you are responsible for?
Would you like this to happen to your child?
How would you feel if it did?

Include information, such as that you know that staff have been asked to sign confidentiality agreements about the incident, and drop hints that you may know more/have evidence.

Set a deadline (10 days max) before which you expect a reply - say that if you do not receive acknowledgement, an explanation and an apology from them by then, you have made a list of who you will formally complain to (in addition to those already sent copies of this letter). Add that you reserve the right to add to this list as the need arises.

Head the letter: 'without prejudice' just to give them the idea that you might take legal steps.

Go for it. Good luck.

kaz33 · 25/04/2003 15:32

Actually don't head the letter "without prejudice" - this is an open letter, you only need to use "without prejudice" when you are making an offer to resove a dispute.

Maybe I should change my name to Legal Pedant.

griffy · 25/04/2003 15:39

Kaz - good point - you're right, but I think most people wouldn't know that, and would hopefully feel a little threatened by it!?

griffy · 25/04/2003 15:39

threatened by the 'with prejudice' wording I mean

griffy · 25/04/2003 15:40

Doh - even 'WITHOUT prejudice' wording - must preview!!!

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 16:00

thankyou I will give that a try...
How do you thinkit would go if i went and sat in the social services office with as many statements as i can and demand an investigation?

OP posts:
griffy · 25/04/2003 16:12

I don't know, but as a last resort, I'd give it a go too!!! The problem is that there's a limit to the amount of time and energy that one person has. I'll be thinking about other agencies/organisations that you might be able to enlist help from.

Good luck Crystal. Please let us know how you get on.

Batters · 26/04/2003 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ghosty · 26/04/2003 09:28

Crystal1 ... don't have any advice ... but just wanted to give you my support all over again. I have read the original post again and just can't get over the fact that there are people like this allowed to work with children ... I get upset if my son gets picked on by others in playgroup when I am there .... so how I would feel if this happened to my boy is unthinkable!
Keep fighting ... I am thinking of you!

griffy · 01/05/2003 13:57

Crystal1 - been thinking about you, and have had two thoughts, in case you're still following this up.

  1. It seems key that you identify the full name of a witness. Can you get a private detective to help to track this down?

  2. Is there any angle that the Trading Standards Office might be able to take?

Both possibly ridiculous ideas but...?

quackers · 01/05/2003 14:43

I was horrifed to read this thread. I am so sorry! I know that Kindercare/busy bees are generally good. Unfortunately only as good as their employees it seems! Personally I would contact GM TV they are always very interested to hear these things, as are this morning. You need not say anything to getyou a libel case, just state what happened and get some free publicity. Sometimes then a high profile lawyer may come forward and help you and have lots of experience in these cases. There is not alot the early years dept of the council can do as this is a private company. You will have to persue it through the justice system. OFSTED might be able to do something though. They carry alot of clout!

crystal1 · 01/05/2003 17:05

well abit more news today ...
i have spoken to my solicitor who seems to think it wont matter even if i do get her full name( the girl who saw it happen ) that i still wont be able to do anything ...but if i pay him roughly £2000-£4000 thay may be able to take them to court but id have to pay there court costs aswell!!
i cant afford that kind of money as i am an ordinary working single mum..
clearly i am supposed to put up with people doing this to my child as i cant afford to bring them to justice

any more advice / sugestions???

OP posts:
ks · 01/05/2003 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sobernow · 01/05/2003 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tissy · 01/05/2003 20:00

or " You and Yours "- Radio 4

griffy · 23/06/2003 14:02

Crystal1 - just wondered how you were getting on with this?

chatee · 23/06/2003 18:35

the nursery hasn't suddenly closed down has it??

crystal1 · 04/08/2003 17:02

HI all no the nurserey hasnt closed down, but they have hardley any staff now and not that many
toddlers either.
I have learned that it was not reported or investigated by offsted!!
i have changed my solicitor again and i am now told by the police that we cant have the file on it without a court order!!

OP posts:
misdee · 04/08/2003 20:18

poor u and your son. i think busy bees have something to do with jw nurseries as well, but i'm not too sure (dont want to name tham in case i'm wrong) anyway the jw nursery near my old home had a case of scabies with one of the workers. the staff were advised not to inform the parents even tho scabies is contagious. how do i know? my younger sister's friend was on work placement there when she was doing her NNEB. i was advised never to put my children in that nursey.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page