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Problems with Nursery

69 replies

crystal1 · 21/02/2003 15:43

Hi, I hope someone can give me some advice on a major problem I am having.
In dec last year I was called into my 2 Yr olds nursery for a discussion.
I was told over the phone that it was nothing too much to worry about, I went in the next day and two members of staff took me to the upstairs office and informed me that a member of staff had reported over-hearing another member of staff saying she wanted to flush my sons head down the toilet.
After many shed tears i left having to go to work...I was far too upset to be at work and my boos was very understanding and said I should do whatever i needed to do.
So i went back to the Nursery to collect my son.
on the way out I was given a number to call for Social Services.
When i arrived home I called social services, I was advised of everything that was going to happen re a full investigation etc..
I asked if the threat had been made directly to my child or to another person about him she said what have they told you? So i relayed the story and she told me it was made to him.
Five minutes later she called me and asked me for my address she needed to come to see me.
She came round to my parents house and then began to tell me that she had been informed the threat had actually taken place, the girl was seen by another member of staff holding my son by the ankles head first into a flushing tiolet.
i was told that the police were giong to see this girl with the social worker later that day or early the next morning, this never happend.
I was also told by the area manger for the nursery in question that one person had seen the incident and three others heard the comotion,
she also had the cheek to ask if I would be taking my son the christmas party! She also told me they would be taking written statements from these witnesses and they would be given to the police.
She wanted to keep the lines of communication open between us and was going to keep me informed on the situation.
I didnt hear from her again.
I reported all of this to the police and a log wasnt created until I reported it!
I was informed by a member of the child protection team that he wanted to speak to this member if staff and was going to try for a criminal prosecution.
It wasnt until after New Year that he called me to let me know what was happening, he told me that she had recieved a warning but she had denied everything.
He said he was satisfied that she didntdo it and didnt have any witness statements to suggest otherwise.
I had been informed by an old school friend that her friend was the person who saw it happen and that she had been told by the nursery not to talk to anyone about it.
I now am expected to believe that the social worker was not told that there was a witness
who had seen it but had come to that conclusion herself!
I have spoken to a girl that worked at the nursery who heard this girl say to her mum(who works in the kitchen at nursery) that she did it, yet the police dont seem to be interested in this information..

I would appreciate any advice you have on this as I am at my wits end.

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Chiccadum · 23/02/2003 20:44

I agree with prufrock, try and get talking to one of the other mothers who you used to talk to and try and get them on your side, if they have anything about them they would be more than willing to help.

How is your ds now? I know you mentioned he enjoys his new nursery but have you noticed any other effects? Hope Not.

That place ought to be shut down

LIZS · 24/02/2003 19:54

crystal1,

I am so sorry for what you and your little boy have been through and just hope he has not been badly affected.I am just so stunned that this could happen at all.

It would be quite understandable if after all that you have been through you would prefer to just get on with things again, but the stonewalling you have met with makes me angry. English standards of childcare seem to be highly regarded and what has happened to you makes me question this. It is not good enough for them to hush it all up and as someone has pointed out, what specifically is there to stop this girl working with kids again unless the matter is pursued further.

eefs and Jimjams seem to have sensible suggestions as to routes to try. I don't know whether an ongoing police investigation might be prejudiced by going to the press, or perhaps Watchdog would be interested...but might be worth a threat to get things moving again.

Good luck to you and your family,

LizS

dcolagirl · 14/04/2003 15:35

I'm utterly appalled. I really think this needs to be made public knowledge - how do I know that woman isn't working at a nursery near me now? It's terrifying.

mum2toby · 14/04/2003 15:45

OH MY GOD!!!! no advice I'm afraid, I'm just stunned, horrified, livid and upset on your behalf!!!! That is shocking, definitely pursue that to the end!

bells2 · 14/04/2003 16:23

I'm so sorry to hear that your little boy was subjected to such a horrifying ordeal, particularly by san adult who was supposed to be looking after him. It is sickening to think that the other staff aren't willing to take action to ensure she is no longer able to work with children.

crystal1 · 15/04/2003 17:24

Well youd think that police would be interested in getting to the bottom of things, but ive been speaking to one of the girls who was a witness and the police have never spoken to her!!
The nursery have also made them all sign a statement to say they wont discuss the incident with anyone outside the nursery!!
Just this morning I have learned that 4 of the staff that worrked in the same department as my ds have now left as they are scared of things that might happen ...one of which was also a witness is working for the nursery that my ds is now at!!( they have 2 locations she is now working at the other one )
I was told by the police that there were no witnesses to the incedent...
However I now know the first name of the girl who SAW her do it but my solicitor says i cant do any thing without her full name....I dont understand why its my job to investigate???

OP posts:
ks · 15/04/2003 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kyliebump · 15/04/2003 23:53

Crystal1 - I've only just read this thread and am shocked and horrified - I really feel for you, you must be devastated by what happened to your DS and incredibly frustrated by the (lack of)response you are getting from the Police and Social Services. I have no experience in this area, but definately agree with Jimjams that you should notify Ofsted so that they are aware of concerns about the nursery and may investigate it further. Who knows what other incidents have been reported to them by concerned parents - yours might be the one that triggers further investigation.

All I can suggest is to keep on and on and on at Social Services and the Police to investigate. If one of the witnesses now works at DS's new nursery then would you (or your Solicitor) be able to get her surname from there? I know you said that staff have been made to sign something to say they won't discuss the incident, but the Police and Social Services will tell them that that is rubbish (and possibly illegal as surely they have a legal obligation to co-operate with any Child Protection Investigation?). At the same time, I would lodge a complaint with your local council against Social Services - this may also help to get things looked at. You could also consider going to your MP and asking them to contact the Police/Social Servces on your behalf.

I really hope that things move forward for you on this soon.

Bozza · 16/04/2003 17:19

Kyliebump's advice seems good. Agree about the paper they've signed not stopping police/social services investigating. Can you complain about the police as well as the social services?

I'm really sorry that this is dragging on like this for you - it sounds like nobody cares about what happened and thats awful.

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 11:18

well abit more to add today....
I am working for our local council at the moment
(yep the vey same one that has covered it all up)
and whilst ive been here ive discovered that all of the filles on the incident have been erased and the social worker dealing with it stopped working, towards the end of dec!!!

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mum2toby · 25/04/2003 11:22

Can this get any worse!!!? That is just disgusting!!

mum2toby · 25/04/2003 11:23

Do you mind if I ask you which area of the country this is??

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 11:23

yep north west....

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crystal1 · 25/04/2003 11:27

oh and i also have spoken to the other witness from ds nursery and she didnt know the other girls surname ...I think they must have said some very strong words to all of them because she seemed quite uncomfortable talking to me!!

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Clarinet60 · 25/04/2003 12:16

crystal1, is there any chance of you leaking it to the press? It sounds like a cover-up and it's all rather disgusting.

I had a similar issue with the childminding inspectorate when I tried to report a registered childminder for various dangerous practices a couple of years ago. They just weren't interested. That's why when people bang on about the importance of using registered childminders, I just say 'registered-smegistered.'

Batters · 25/04/2003 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 13:20

It has been in the press ..the sun the daily mail and both of the local papers ....
No one will return my phone calls even my solicitor dosent seem to interested!!
Just because im a single mum and dont have the money to sue them or pay for a full investigation!!

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griffy · 25/04/2003 13:37

Crystal - I've only just read this thread, and I agree with the others - keep up the pressure - don't let them get away with this. My DS attends a nursery (following a bad childminding experience when he was very young), and one of the things that reassured me about it was that the staff simply CAN NOT do things like this and get away with it.

But at this nursery they are. Which nursery is it? Is there a reason that we're not saying? I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the idea of naming, but am not quite sure why, considering the seriousness of their negligence in this instance. What do others think? Or is this a moderator's type of thing?

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 13:55

no we can name as I said before already been in the papers...
I hope you know it ...
Kindercare which is operated by busy bees, I believe they are the second largest childcare provider in the uk

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griffy · 25/04/2003 14:12

Hmm - I've heard of it. What do you want to happen next Crystal? An investigation? A prosecution? For the member of staff not to be able to work in childcare again? Some form of corporate responsibility to be taken?

How about writing individually to all the directors/shareholders of the company telling your story and asking them personally to investigate on your behalf or take action, since they are ultimately responsible for your son's wellbeing.?

griffy · 25/04/2003 14:14

Oh - and perhaps you have a local councillor or MP who could take this up for you, to force whatever action you would like taken?

griffy · 25/04/2003 14:18

The more I think about this, the more furious I am on your and your son's behalf.

Could you get a copy of this letter demanding silence that staff have been asked to sign? Surely that would indicate a cover up to the authorities

crystal1 · 25/04/2003 14:24

i want them to appologise at the very least, I want to know that she can never work with children again yet I am told that there are no procedures in place to stop that without a criminal conviction which she should really have ..but no-one will talk!! I would really like to see tham suffer the way my ds has ever since,
they are denying that anything untoward ever took place !!
And yes my Mp has been contacted ..had no response asyet.

OP posts:
crystal1 · 25/04/2003 14:27

i want them to appologise at the very least, I want to know that she can never work with children again yet I am told that there are no procedures in place to stop that without a criminal conviction which she should really have ..but no-one will talk!! I would really like to see tham suffer the way my ds has ever since,
they are denying that anything untoward ever took place !!
And yes my Mp has been contacted ..had no response asyet.

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crystal1 · 25/04/2003 14:28

whoops got abit carried away there!!

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