ELEVENSES HERE *****************************************************************************************

[MaryAnnSingleton]

think we've been deleted,so shall we put ourselves here in other subjects ?
Sleepless night fretting about T and loos and lunches at big school - how neurotic am I ?!

Uuuuuugh! What a horrid day here. All wet and sleety and slushy. I'd now like it all to either disappear, or come back as gorgeous fresh new snow

I've no idea if they do a cat kantele MAS. The one B uses is just plain wood. She's really enjoying playing it. Our school doesn't seem to do much music I think infant schools always have a problem recruiting teachers with music specialisms, as there is more musical potential with older children. My MIL was very scathing when they didn't have a pianist accompanying them at Christmas, but I actually like hearing the purity of littlies singing and not being drowned out...There is a choir and recorders for Year 2 though!

Hippi - the shadowing sounds great. Do you know how much work they might have for you?? Good news about the invigilating MAS

I've just been to a PTA meeting at school, but there are a couple of very outspoken mums there and they seem to drown out the rest of us, so feel it was a bit of a waste of time today. Hopefully they'll tone it down a bit

Dilemma of the day.... do I take B swimming later? Our road is still tricky and skiddy. I did manage to get out earlier, but don't know if I fancy it in the dark...

Wow, great news about the invigilating MAS

Shadowing was good today. Did Y1, but it was wet play so hard hard work. Was terrified to discover that when it is wet play the lunchtime supervisor is responsible for a class of 30 kids all on her own [terrified emoticon]
Was a bit hard because I got to observe E's class for a bit. Her best friend little S was completely monopolized by the somewhat dominant M, and E was sort of trailing behind on her own instead of seeking out others. Her teacher said E had burst into tears today about a hairband of all things (it was in her tray and she wanted it) and is wondering why E is sooo senstive at teh moment. E is not really like it at home at the moment, so not sure what is going on. Have also observed that E will deliberately eat very slowly so as to avoid free play. That is nothing new, free play has always freaked her out a bit.
She is destined to be a little odd-bear isn't she?

Hotcross, don't go swimming, not in this weather. It is sooo scary out there still!

btw, scary women on the PTA is one of the reasons I opted out of it in the end...

Hi Hippi

I think that's one of the hardest things about being in your child's school. Sometimes you observe things you don't like, but are sort of powerless to stop.

Poor E Why are friendships so tricky? The confident, easygoing children seem to sail on oblivious, but more sensitive souls can really get a bit lost in it all. B is much more of a 1:1 child, and struggles a bit to find a way in to groups, although she does seem to be getting a bit better at it. I'm sort of the same though, and am often left on the circumference of things, looking in. Are there any other girls in E's class, who would be a good match as friends? Then she would have someone to go to if S is occupied? Free play is my idea of hell too - I'm much better gainfully employed ,than expected to be sociable....

I'm worried that B is losing confidence already with the swimming and would prefer her not to miss if possible, so there isn't a long gap between lessons. But equally I don't want to go.....

Thanks hotcross
This dominant girl M, is just the way you describe. She is very pretty, very confident, and everyone wants to be her friend. So she just picks and chooses at will.
There are plenty of nice girls in E's class, but for some reason E ignores them and just trails around after little S. And little S will only play with E when M is with someone else. It is life I guess, and E will just have to get used to it, but I wish she could be a bit tougher, a bit more sociable and a bit more confident.

If B is losing her confidence with swimming, then perhaps she was moved to a higher group too early? Make sure it does not put her off...
As to whether you should go - only you can decide, but I personally would not.

hth

fwiw, I'd give swimming a miss hotcross - one week away won't make a difference- sometimes it helps,I've noticed that T often makes big improvements after a missing week or two..not worth driving though if it's going to cause anxiety.
Argh,tell me about having an odd child !! I think that's why our respective children are so lovely though..it sounds as though dominant girl is a queen bee that others including E are just attracted too- this always happens as far as I can see..I think you just have to leave them to find their way -it probably happened when we were girls too. I tend to stay on the sidelines too,in social things - all except for book group where I surprise myself by my assertiveness - think this may be possibly because I'm older than the others, but maybe because when I joined I was new to the area and determined to make a place for myself, so I started off by making a huge effort to speak out, be noticed.
Back to golden girls for a minute, was reminded this week about T's friend in London who is a real golden girl, but very nice too- she is confident, very pretty and can sing,dance,play piano and trumpet -is on school council etc etc..and has just taken up singing lessons,which overshadowed my pride in T's lessons as I mentioned he'd be doing grades and this friend N is already on grade 4

I think you are right MAS, I remember desperately trailing after the queen bees at school and being ignored
I just want E to have a bit more confidence in herself. But hey, we just carry on...
Arf at your friend's golden girl dd. That is always the way isn't it? But T is doing fab, and if this girl plays the piano and the trumpet then music obviously comes easy to her and is hence not such a good achievement as for those who have to work a little bit harder at it! (well that is how I see it - helps to keep me sane )

O has a friend to play this afternoon. The boy who wrote the letter a few months back 'sign here if you hate O'. Mmmm. Oh well, he is a sweet enough boy really, adn O was desperate for him to come and play

good morning ! hope you've had nice weekends - ours was very pleasant. We had a celebration at mum and dad's for mum's birthday (postponed her dinner out owing to possible severe weather) which was lovely and jolly. On Saturday dh worked from home to make up for lost time last week but we did wander into town to buy something nice for supper and to get some air/exercise.
Have heard back from school about invigilating - it seems that I'm not quite flexible enough for them at present (as I'm doing my bit of childminding etc) - I think I could have made myself more flexible but am in two minds about it anyway,partly having spoken to my friend S who told me that 2 people she knows do it and one finds it quite hard ! I'm slightly about it too being T's school- not that he'd necessarily be in the exams, but it feels a little too close to home ! I think that if I didn't have the pick up and drop off etc I might've gone for it. Anyway, they've left it open so I can ask again if I change my mind.

Morning

We had a lovely weekend too thanks. Quite quiet, played lots of games, did jigsaws etc.

Sorry (I think!) about the invigilating. It sounds like it's not really the right thing for you at the moment, but nice that they've left the door open...

I'm waiting for someone to come for coffee, but she's very late. We were meeting last Monday, but then it snowed so we postponed til today. I'm beginning to think she's forgotten though I don't know her terribly well, I think she is a bit scatty, but I probably wont see her out and about to ask, and I dont really want to ring her. Hmm. Oh well, will get on with the washing i think.

nooo ! have just received my copies of the poetry book published on Friday and they have edited out the poem with the axolotl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like the name btw Will have to think of something for me...

Oh no was hoping to read it...

Nooooooo, they cannot just ax the axolotl!!
He is the cutest!

Sorry to hear about the invigilating MAS. Sounds like T's school do it differently. At my school (listen to me, 'my' ) they publish the dates and times of the exams, email them to all invigilators, you then fill in the dates and times you are available, and they then allocate invigilators to each exam and email you back your timetable. So you don't always get given all the slots you registered as available for, but that does not worry me, am glad to be given anything at all They are also not worried about me arrivng after the exam has started, or leaving before one has finished, because they understand I have to do school pick-ups. So it is absolutely ideal really.

Sounds like you had a nice weekend.

We had a quiet weekend - dh had to work on Saturday, so I took E for her swimming lessons. She did very well
Saturday afternoon O was glued to the England v Italy Six Nations game. I think he is developing a passion for rugby
On Sunday we did a bit of shopping in Woking (boring, drab, went looking for a new watch for O and a black cardigan for me, came home without either) adn then took O to his drama club. He came out very excited - they had a man in fromt he Central School of Speech and Drama to do mask-making with them. Great fun!

My friend K has pulled out of going swimming this morning, so am contemplating going on my own in a minute.

Has your friend turned up yet hotcross?

Did you take B for her swimming lesson last week hotcross? How did she get on?

They are changing teh swimming lessons at the pool where O and E swim. Instead of going with school terms they are going to run for 48 weeks of the year. Am a bit peeved about that because I cannot guarantee to be available that often and I enjoy having the break during halfterms and school holidays.
Also, 48 lessons per year, at a cost of 5.50 is a heck of a lot of money....
Not sure we can afford it really
So may need to look elsewhere for lessons for E.
Bugger!

Hi Hippi

Glad E had a good swimming lesson - guess her lack of progress was maybe just a blip.

I did take B swimming in the end and the roads were fine - even the car park wasn't too scary She did really really well until the last 5 minutes. She is obviously going to be quite a fast swimmer and he had to keep setting her off first because she kept overtaking the others Lots of big smiles and clearly having a ball until he suggested she try without a float and she completely panicked and burst into floods of tears A step too far I suppose... I did tell her they need to give her something to work towards - they don't expect her to be able to do it straightaway, but I think she'd like a bit of time to get really confident just using one float. Oh well, we'll see how this week goes.

Our lessons are for 50 weeks a year it's a bit mad and you end up paying for lessons when you're on holiday, which doesn't seem fair. It's so expensive too, but I'd really like B to be able to swim before she goes for lessons with school next year.

Friend hasn't arrived for coffee, so I'm guessing she's forgotten!

Well done B!!

That is what worries me about the 48 weeks a year - the being on holiday bit. Because you pay in advance, so it seems a bit mad...

I have just come back from swimming, asked for a leaflet about the new system for lessons, but they don't have any... (they are changing to the new system in 4 weeks, yet they have no customer information )

I think I overdid it a bit, my neck muscles are sooo sore and I have pins and needles in my arms
I did 60 lenghts (so that is 1500 metres )in exactly 60 minutes, with hardly any stopping. Am exhausted now...

oh good for E and swimming ! and also B !!
And you too hippi
Think that way of booking swimming lessons is quite common..they seem to do it at our sports centre. T's lesson on Friday was cancelled because of the weather,so hope he can go this week.
I thought the inviogilating might be the same as at your school hippi, but it seems more rigid here..I must say I was a bit worried by S saying it was a bit scary - her friend J who did it thought that. I just panic if I'm restricted to times/dates. However, knowing that I could ask again is nice !

In what way was it scary?? (the invigilating that is...)
But yes, nice to know they have left the door open

Hi haven't managed to get near here today. Seems to have been really busy. Well done Hippi for the swimming - are you sore today?

B has a friend here at the moment, a really nice wee girl who is a pleasure to have They are currently 'walking' B's toy dogs round the house, stopping at the corner of the sofa etc so they can have a sniff and a wee They have gobbled up the most enormous tea, so no problems. Phew.

Had my mum on the phone for an hour earlier. I feel so guilty, but I find her draining to talk to. I think she is probably quite depressed, but she can't/wont acknowledge it. She is very judgemental and critical about everyone and everything, and I can't see a way to help her Dad refuses to talk about her, as he sees it as being disloyal, so I've no idea what he's thinking. Hmmmm.

Sorry, didn't mean all that to come out! Will give my dsis a call later and see what she thinks.

Right, must go and put our tea on. Hope you've had good days.

Hello... where are you all??

Am just grabbing five quick minutes on here whilt our dinner is in the oven. Dh has gone to collect O from a friend's house (the lovely girl M whom he was at nursery with)
I hope they had a good time.

It was E's parent's evening this afternoon. All well - ish.
Apparently she is feeling unsettled. Accordign to the teacher most of the girls in class are breaking off friendships and forming new ones, and everyone is feeling a bit upset about it all. She said she sat them all down in circle time and said that making new friends is great but that no-one must be mean to their old friends.
It is good to know E is not the only one going through it at the moment. She also identified two little girls who are being very friendly with E at the moment. One is H, the dd of my mad DCI friend. The other is a lovely little girl who (incidentally) is the best friend of dominant M who has hijackedbefriended little S. So I guess this little girl is feeling a little bit sidelined by the M and S friendship, just like E is.
So have decided to invite her for tea after the half term
The teacher did say that E had pulled out some hair at school . She told E to put it in the bin. I did think it was looking a bit thin again [sigh]

Acedemically though E is doing wonderful. She is streets ahead in her literacy and doing very well in maths. So I am pleased on that score.

I did make a fool of myself and told her that E was writing a book in a hardbound notepad dh had pinced (and then I corrected it to borrowed ) from the stationary cupboard at work. ARgh, she now must think I am mad and dh is a kleptomanial Why oh why oh why do I do these things????

Hi hotcross, x-posted

Glad to hear B is having a nice tea with her friend, and arf at the dog walking!! If only B was in E's class [wistful]

Sorry to hear about your mum. Fwiw I feel the same about mine at times She can be very judgemental but won't acknowledge it. Adn then gets cross when I defend whomever she is 'judging'.
And I always feel I am a disappointment to her, but that is a whole other thread!!

Better go and pop the fish fingers for E in the oven. (dh adn I are having a savoury spinach pie which she won't eat, the eternal fusspot!!)

hello you two - haven't been able to get on here all day as dh was working from home (apparently A31 flooded and closed first thing) - I've also been out with my parents taking them to meet mum's old art school friend who is exhibiting in Farnham - we went to lunch at Maison Blanc (mmm,yum - I had croque monsieur ) - I bought an eclair for T and a chocolate cupcake for dh - God their patisserie stuff is lovely)
T on a farm visit this morning - he has been quite grumpy and off with me,think the friendship thing is still bothering him and I've had to be quite stern and am taking a tough approach as I think he is wallowing in a bit of self pity and not actually getting himself out of it - we'll see if that works ! He said he chatted to the boy he was on the coach with etc..am going to keep encouraging him to make an effort - he seems to think that he doesn't need to do anything and friends will magically appear.
Also felt a bit miffed with him,probably childish of me I know, because the new poetry book has a dedication to him in the front - it just says 'to T,who loves all wildlife and birds' (as it's a wildlife poetry anthology) and he seems to be very embarrassed that I should have done that - but then he is embarrassed about lots of stuff,from wearing his wellingtons in town to being seen with me ! think it's his age really.
He just says that he thinks people won't like him/want to be his friend if they know he likes certain things - gah !
Well done to E and her academic successes - am sorry that emotionally things are a bit difficult - but at least she isn't alone in feeling unsettled - I'm sure it'll all pass.
at E ansd 'stolen' notebook - would love to see her writings !
Am sorry that you are feeling worried about your mum hotcross. My mum is feeling pretty miserable generally but it's due to living in a bit of turmoil with the building work,messed up garden,rotten weather, disapproving neighbours etc - she can be very judgemental and intolerant though, more so as she gets older - and she's meant to be a Buddhist too ! I find her constant negativity quite draining and iriitating - she is getting like her middle sister who is dreadful,so difficult even I can barely spent an hour in her company before wanting to throttle her.
Then there are bright bits where my mum is as she used to be,sparky and jolly - I'm sure she will return to form before too long though.
Invigilating - by 'scary' I meant that my friend S thought it quite a daunting job - it made me think I might not be tough enough !

Oh Mas, bless T He seems such a mix of big boy / little boy at the moment...
Arf at teh wearing wellies to town, I remember arguing about the exact same thing with my mum. I would point blank refuse to wear them into town, she would be exasperated: "Why does it matter???" etc.
Funny now though
So, this poetry book, what is it called and where can we find it??
I think the dedication to T is lovely, and so does he, but he is obviously going through a 'mums are sooo embarrasing' phase

Your lunch sounds fab!

The flooding does sound bad - the village next door (does that make sense, I mean the neighbouring village) was featured on the lunchtime BBC news because the high street had flooded...

E's book is brilliant - she has written two short stories and illustrated them. And that is only the beginning
Will bring it at our next meet-up

Oh bless our lovely dcs Don't they just drive us demented??? I'm not looking forward to the parents are embarrassing stage - no doubt with dh and me as parents, it'll be soon

Hippi, it sounds like its a general unsettledness in the class, and it may well turn out OK, with E finding other friends to trust. Hope so, and that it all sorts itself out asap. At least academically it sounds like you have no worries and I LOL at the stolen notebook. I always think I sound like an absolute imbecile when I talk to B's teacher - and anyone else for that matter. I have my foot permanently shoved in my mouth! Not saying that you sounded like an imbecile BTW - not at all - I'm sure the teacher was just focused on the fact a child in her class is writing for pleasure!

MAS - I think the dedication to T is just lovely and he will really appreciate it when he is bigger In fact he is probably secretly thrilled, but it's not cool to show it... I'd love to see the book too BTW

Glad it's not just me with the stressy mum. We've never had the easiest of relationships TBH, I've never felt I was good enough etc etc and it just continues... I wish I was brave enough to have a massive row and say how she makes me feel, but I think it would probably be the end of our relationship rather than help it in any way. So I'll carry on holding my tongue....

Am feeling dreadful. L's mum came to pick her up and came in for a cup of tea while the girls carried on playing. About 30 mins later I got a text from dh saying he'd missed the bus and had started walking...I of course siad I'd pick him up as he is not long off the crutches for his achilles, and should be only doing gentle walks. However, I felt it was terribly rude shoving B's friend and her mum out, and looking back I should have asked if she wanted to stay while I nipped out to pick dh up. I was literally gone 5 minutes. Aaaaargh, why do I panic and not think things through????? Do you think I should ring the mum, or just apologise tomorrow?

Ooooh, Hippi mentioned the next meet up!

yup, complete imbecile,that's me...
I was already welling up when talking about the friends thing (because if I am honest I am sad that E's lifelong close relationship with her best friend may be changing forever) so the teacher must think I am one of these over-emotional demented mothers...
I think by way of apology I told the teacher (she is a young thing of 22 or so) never to have children

Yes, we must have another meetup! You are both more than welcome to come here for coffee or we could meet somewhere more mutually convenient.

Anyroad, am going to join dh in the livign room with a cup of tea.

Back tomorrow