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Original poster

"You are looking too fat, it makes me sick - eat some salad FGS" - It would be unacceptable to say this to someone wouldn't it?

99 replies

DrNortherner · 30/06/2008 15:48

So why is it acceptable to say to me -

"You are looking too slim, it makes me sick - eat some pies FGS?"

OP posts:
OverMyDeadBody · 30/06/2008 15:50

I agree DrNorthener. People don't seem to realise comments about being too thin can be just as painful about comments about being too fat.

I used to get people saying "you'd look better if you put a bit of weight on, you're too thin". They where probably right but if you said the equivelant thing to an overweight person it would be unacceptable.

thebecster · 30/06/2008 15:51

Who said that to you? How awful! Did you reply? I think 'I was going to, but then realised you'd eaten them all.' might be the way to go...

EffiePerine · 30/06/2008 15:52

well, people do get nasty comments if they are seen (shock) eating and they are overweight. People are just rude, it seems.

Mercy · 30/06/2008 15:53

WHo said that to you?

Agree, I've had people say unpleasant things to me but that's really horrible.

SheikYerbouti · 30/06/2008 15:53

Thing is, peolpe do think it's acceptable to pass comment if you are overweight.

I get:

"Oh you are so pretty, you'd be stunning if you lost weight"
"It must be nice not to care about what you eat like you"
"Gosh, you look well"

It's not nice to pass any snide remark on oinyone's appearance.

Tell 'em to fuck off and grow up. I do.

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/06/2008 15:54

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Original poster
DrNortherner · 30/06/2008 15:56

It was said by another mum at school today, in front of loads of others. I did not say anything, just kind of smiled and said nothing.

How do you reply to that?!

Thing is, I am not under weight at all. I am a healty size 10. I just exercise to keep it this way and they know that.

They then had a discussion how they all had 'mummy tummy's' cause they all have 2 plus kids and i only have 1.

Apparantly, it's different when you've only had 1 kid

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 30/06/2008 15:57

no it's not ok but it's probably born out of their own insecurity and jealousy of your size, so rise above it and so long as you are a healthy weight and size for your height, ignore them

SheikYerbouti · 30/06/2008 15:58

Gosh, they must be sad if that's all tyey have to talk about.

Avoid like the plague.

mindalina · 30/06/2008 15:59

Well that's utter rubbish because I have a "mummy tummy" (god I hate that phrase it's sickening, don't know why) and I only have one child. Agree is ridiculously rude, and I think thebecster's suggestion is great

Aitch · 30/06/2008 15:59

twats. mind you, you are also gorgeous Norhterner so you are a double threat.

MsDemeanor · 30/06/2008 16:02

I wasn't there, but it sounds as if she meant it as a sort of wry compliment to be honest. Especially as it was in the context of a discussion in which they were saying how unhappy they were with their own weight and bodies. I might well say to a mate (or would have when I was fatter post-babies) 'ooh, you skinny cow! How dare you be so thin when I'm so fat!"
From the context and the language it really sounds as if she was saying, jokingly, 'I'm jealous of how slim you are' which is really putting herself down, not her.
I don't think it is at all the same as saying something horrible to someone who is overweight, as let's face it, being thin/slim is revered in our society as a sign of beauty and self-control etc etc and being fat definitely isn't.

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/06/2008 16:03

This reply has been deleted

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Kewcumber · 30/06/2008 16:04

generally people pass comment on your weight (whether too high or too low) because they have no idea how self conscious you feel about it and feel the urge to share with you the answer to all your problmes. Just in case your brain cell isn;t working from lack of food/being smothered in fat (delete as applicable)

Psychomum5 · 30/06/2008 16:04

I know how you feel.....I get comments too!!!

in my case tho, they all seem to think I am 'clever', and that I have "done so well", but really I "should think about stopping as it is getting out of hand" now. not sure how they think that.....I have lost weight thro stress and allergies as I cannot eat what I like anymore, and what I can eat makes me feel sick!!

aly16 · 30/06/2008 16:05

I know just how you feel and since i've put some weight on (I am 5ft 7" and weigh 9lb. 10oz) I have been told I now need to lose wight as am chubby! You can't win!

TigerFeet · 30/06/2008 16:05

Blimey, here's me thinking I could blame my "mummy tummy" (bleugh to that phrase) on dd. I shall have to sprout another sprog forthwith in order to be able to justify it.

Northerner, ignore ignore ignore. If you are a healthy weight for your height and you exercise to keep it that way, then good on you.

They are just jealous that they can't do the same.

jesuswhatnext · 30/06/2008 16:05

BLIMEY - i'm still trying to lose my 'mummy tummy', dd is only 16 though

MsDemeanor · 30/06/2008 16:07

I think 9lb 10oz is distinctly on the skinny side for 5'7"

Psychomum5 · 30/06/2008 16:07

oh, and I don;t have a 'mummy tummy'....and I have FIVE!

I think how your tummy is after kiddies is as much down to genetics as it is down to weight and how much food/how little food you eat.

thebecster · 30/06/2008 16:09

Bah! 'mummy tummy' (agree, awful expression, can we think of another one?) is 10% genetics, 10% luck, 10% diet, 70% appropriate exercise. So tell 'em you ate pies after your last Pilates session, thank you very much. I guess MsD is right that it was probably meant as a wry compliment, but I suspect with a strong tinge of jealousy behind it which showed through & made it cut a little too deep... Is everyone else holding in their transverse abs as they read this thread, or is that just me?

RubberDuck · 30/06/2008 16:10

Northerner - I completely empathise, I've found much the same including people commenting on "there's nothing OF you" (complete stranger while I was already self-conscious, half-undressed in a communal swimming pool changing room!), "YOU could fit through there" (different woman pointing to a small child's play tunnel), "I should really take you home and feed you up" and various others on a similar theme.

Usually said by people who think they're really original and no-one has EVER thought to comment before .

It does get very very tedious.

However, after years of never being able to put anything on no matter how hard I tried, I have now put on a stone and a half virtually overnight so the comments have stopped (and it's all gone to my tummy - WHY couldn't it have gone to my boobs.... WHY?!! )

RubberDuck · 30/06/2008 16:11

(oh I was 7st 7lb at 5'4" ... am now nearly 9 stone)

MsDemeanor · 30/06/2008 16:12

Yes, sure they are jealous, but that doesn't mean they hate you or resent you, they just want to be like you! Tbh she probably didn't mean it to sound as aggressive as it clearly sounded to you. She probably thought you'd be pleased. When you feel overweight it's hard to imagine anyone would be insulted to be called thin as you'd love it so much yourself. Well, that's how I have felt.

jesuswhatnext · 30/06/2008 16:12

not sure about my 'transverse abs', but i am holding a glass of merlot, does that count?

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