"You are looking too fat, it makes me sick - eat some salad FGS" - It would be unacceptable to say this to someone wouldn't it?

[DrNortherner]

So why is it acceptable to say to me -

"You are looking too slim, it makes me sick - eat some pies FGS?"

I have it on good authority from my GP that when I was 7st7 at 5'4" (i.e. BMI 18) that I was NOT underweight. I have an extremely light frame and bone structure, apparently and he also commented that the BMI is deeply flawed in many respects.

So I wouldn't worry too much about the "underweight" BMI, tbh.

Thats good to hear rubberduck. Although my own gp says its just me (though not this current losing it bit) I saw an emergency gp once who gave me a huge lecture about how low my bmi was and how I was letting myself in for xxx ailments. As I'd gone in to see her as I was having anxiety problems re eye surgery it was most unhelpful!

Heh... yes, I'd love boobs one day. But not enough to have mine surgically enhanced

This is why I'm most miffed that while I've put on weight (started exercising seriously in Jan and as a result my appetite has shot up, which I'm sure is the culprit!) I've put it on lovely folds of tummy instead of a nice impressive bust! I demand fat redistribution!

It is important to take note of your frame size as well as height and weight, which BMI doesn't do. If you have a small frame then you can be a fair bit lighter than someone with a medium or large frame and still be healthy. I have a medium frame, am 5'5" and at my lightest I was 7st 12, BMI of 18.5 and therefore apparently healthy - I looked skeletal.

I now have a BMI of 23.5 (still in "healthy" range) and am distinctly overweight in my opinion - my waist is 32-33", which is verging on the unhealthy and I feel wrong.

My point is that BMI is not that helpful, as someone else pointed out - and that frame size must be taken into account.

Surely it was said as a joke, DrN?

I can't really see what your gripe is. It sounds like a compliment to me.

i am a functional anorexic and people either tell me they envy my ability to not eat or that i should just try eating more. this is one of my bugbears. i am aware that i have food ishoos. and i can live alongside it for the most part, but when people comment on it, i always end up ashamed and apologetic. i would never speak to an overweight person the way that i am sometimes spoken too. i have maintained an ok weight for a long time and will never be fat, t it doesnt mean that its ok to tell me that im too thin and i should eat more.

You must have voluptuous curves then, SMcK! Something I can never aspire to

Surely she meant sick with jealousy? That's usually how these comments are made - it's not an insult, she is jealous of your figure and she's jokingly telling you to hurry up and be as fat as her so she doesn't have to be sick with jealousy any more.

Are you sure it is 30, starlight? because mine is 29 and I am 12 stone and 5'3"

I sympathise with the OP. Friends say I look too skinny and DP often comments that I could 'eat a few more pies', despite the fact we eat the same thing and he knows I'm not undereating. It makes me feel quite insecure about how he views me. I can honestly say I eat well and eat healthily now (and eat plenty!).

I used to suffer from ADs and was the other end of the scale. Having been overweight and not so overweight, my experience has been that people are far more likely to mention being 'too skinny' than 'too fat'.

That's because a huge proportion of this population is overweight, wig.

lol Starlight!
I totally sympathise with anyone who gets comments of any kind on size (as if you don't know how big/small/lovely you are?).

You're probably right though Colditz, average size does seem to be going up? But, who's place is it to comment on anyone's size? It just doesn't help, ever.

My mother gets comments about her slimness.

It upsets her that folk think it's okay to tell her how to eat. I can understand it - if overweight you wouldnt want folk to tell you that you really ought to stop eating your lunch because you've had enough already.

arrrrgh - 'but WHOSE place' (and I like to think I'm a would-be pedant...)

You are much much healthier than me then starlight because my waist is in the mid 30s, and that's very very unhealthy. My hip/waist ratio is shit. Good job I go to weight watchers because I am brewing for heart problems!

Colditz - are you still posting on the weightloss thread???

Ha, SMcK, with your waist you probably are "getting away with it" - the waist: hip ratio is a much better indicator of actual health than the BMI. So if you have a small waist and (to use your word) "massive" hips, then your risk for cardiovascular disease/diabetes etc is actually LOWER than someone whose hips and waist are closer in size. For women, a healthy waist:hip ratio is less than 0.85 (divide the waist measurement by the hip). For men, I think it is less than 0.9. Anything over 1 indicates risk - this is all to do with the apple and pear shapes as well - pear is always better than apple. Doesn't mention bananas in this (more my shape )