"You are looking too fat, it makes me sick - eat some salad FGS" - It would be unacceptable to say this to someone wouldn't it?

[DrNortherner]

So why is it acceptable to say to me -

"You are looking too slim, it makes me sick - eat some pies FGS?"

When I was student someone tried to spread a rumour that I was anorexic.

I agree msdemeanor. I carry a little bit extra weight around my tummy and on my thighs but who doesn't in no way am I overweight all I need is to tone up. People are just sooo worried about weight these days and it's no wonder.

"When I was student someone tried to spread a rumour that I was anorexic." - had that too. Is horrible isn't it. In fact, in my case the rumour starter was my own grandmother.

I'm sure she meant it as a complement (backhanded though it is).

i have the opposite problem (and also only have one child) and always have 'well meaning' people asking how my diet is going (I'm not on one), or 'you look well, have you lost weight?' (not an ounce). As well as people constantly looking at my stomach asking if I have anything to tell them.

I'm sure you're a very nice person but I feel the same way when beautiful people say how hard it is to receive so much male attention............. Oh my heart bleeds!

It's not at all the same as telling someone they should lose weight because they are too fat.

Message withdrawn

I have to say I get really fed up of people friends, family and acquaintances commenting about my weight. I don't comment about theirs and don't expect comments back. Its rude both ways.

I know I am underweight and that I look better when I'm a healthy weight. I get throughly fed up of people (especially one well-meaning friend) trying to feed me up. Especially when its down to stress. The more people try to persuade me to eat the more my stomach clamps down and the less I can eat. If they can just leave me alone I eat well.

At moment the weight is sliding off me and I don't know why - tis frustrating.

"i'm sure she meant it as a compliment"
not necessarily - my mum used to tell me, uite spitefully, that she thought I was anorexic - I was a size 10 but small boobs and narrow hips, quite boyish figure. My mum on the other hand was v.overweight at 14st and 5ft1, so I think she was just being mean because she was jealous.

Yes, thumbwitch, but surely the point is, she wasn't saying it because she thought you looked bad, she was saying it because she thought you looked good - hence the envy. Very rarely - if ever - is that true when someone comments negatively on an overweight person. I've been overweight and slim btw.

I think people do think it is a compliment, but I agree, it feels personal and uncomfortable
when thin I have had "my god you look like Kate moss" - people wouldn't say "you look like X fat celebrity" would they?
and "you look positively skeletal" which is downright nasty

I agree. I am tall and very slim too. I cannot eat a salad in public without people asking me if I never eat anything else than salads to stay so slim. I would never ask someone fat eating something fattening in public if they always ate fatty food to stay fat.

Ah no MsD - my mum just wanted me to feel bad, that was her way.

two fat women told dh he looked liek an aids victim when he lost weight
he is 14 stone

I had my portrait done as the grim reaper once not by choice of course. It didn't make me feel good. Now post three children and with a bit of a belly ( I blame mine on c section) I actually feel better as I don't tend to get comments either way.

I'm not saying your mum didn't want you to feel bad, but she did only say that stuff about your being thin because she was jealous - that means she wanted to be like you and thought you looked good.
The point is, stuff aimed at slim people usually comes from feeling envious. Stuff aimed at big people is not about envy.

You don't sound that skinny to me Jajas! There are 5'9" models who weigh barely more than that - and they are paid to look like that. Obviously you are much more slender than me, but I can promise you that most women envy your shape.

jajas, you don't sound skinny to me either!

I am shorter and lighter than you (I think, I don't weigh myself) Putting weight on (all over) is very difficult

I completely agree, I have always been very slim, verging on skinny, I eat well and excercise but I am just built to be a size 4 (oh no, a size zero, i must be anorexic ) What makes me so unbelieveably apopleptic with barely supressed rage is when DD's teacher (size 10ish so slim herself) calls me in after DD's school trip to 'express her concerns' apparently DD is looking very skinny. um, yes, but DH is anything but fat and I am, and always have been tiny.
She didn't eat much either apprently but she also txt me every day saying how crap the food was and she was not eating peaches filled with anchovies when she is allergic to fish (and wouldn't have eaten them if she wasn't tbh)
It was just in such a judgy tone.
It makes me
then we had 'well i suppose with the example you are setting' !!!!!!

Jasjas bmi is 18 which is def in the underweight category.
Kind of shows how skewed thinking can be about weight.

Not saying though that you are unhealthy jasjas - just demonstrating you are skinny!

lol jasjas!
Generally I am borderline underweight but as I've got teeny wrists I'm sure I'm meant to be that way. gp says its normal for me to be skinny.
With my weight down at 7st 8 and I'm 5' 5" at moment I am a bit concerned about long term impact on bones at the moment. Ideally I'd get back up to 8stone.

I did today lol!! (36 mile bike ride)
in general though I do a lot of walking and a bit of cycling. Some physio exercises too.
Tis my collarbone I notice most.
I suppose swimming would do us both good - though its not weight bearing.