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Original poster

Surrogacy, could you do it?

29 replies

singsong · 17/01/2005 13:23

Only thinking about this because have just been watching home and Away on TV and there is a surrogacy story at present. Just got me thinking about real life surrogacy, I think it is such a wonderful thing to do for someone but I know I wouldn?t do it myself because I?d find it too hard.

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 17/01/2005 13:28

One of my friends was infertile after years and yaears of IVF etc was given a surragote daughter from Mrs X.

She then had 3 miracle children by herself

She then went on to be a suragate mum and give another baby away to a childless couple.

So she was at both ends of the story.

Contact COTS for more info

lowcalCOD · 17/01/2005 13:30

no way
coudlnt stand it if htey made a hash o f parenting

suzywong · 17/01/2005 13:31

No

littlemissbossy · 17/01/2005 13:32

NO

colditzmum · 17/01/2005 13:35

NO. I would scream the place down if anyone withb any intention of taking a baby that I had given birth to actually touched it. IYSWIM

suzywong · 17/01/2005 13:36

well put colditzmum

Beansmum · 17/01/2005 13:38

I couldn't do it, I loved ds even before he was born and there is no way I could have given him away to anyone. I really admire anyone who does it though, it must be so hard.

nutcracker · 17/01/2005 13:38

Nope i couldn't.

dot1 · 17/01/2005 13:40

no - and I couldn't bring myself to donate eggs either, which I know seems really silly. Dp has often said she could and would donate eggs - not sure if she could be a surrogate though - must ask her!

Original poster
singsong · 18/01/2005 14:06

That's a nice story RTKangaMummy . I'm sure it works out nice like that for many who use surrogacy, just know I wouldn't be able to do it. Scared I wouldn't hand baby over in the end.

OP posts:
NameChangingMancMidlander · 18/01/2005 14:08

I don't know for sure, but I'd never say never.

spacedonkey · 18/01/2005 14:08

For years I have wondered about doing this for my sister who has not been able to have children (and she is now in her mid 40s and has given up). I've never actually spoken to her about it because I'm not sure I could do it tbh. But it still plays on my mind as a possibility.

fisil · 18/01/2005 14:09

no - more pregnancy than necessary? no thanks!

lockets · 18/01/2005 14:10

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BadHair · 18/01/2005 14:22

Yes, well probably, but only for a very close friend or relative, not for strangers or for money.

amynnixmum · 18/01/2005 14:41

I would do it for either of my sisters. My BIL's girlfriend had hysterectomy when she was 22. She has a boy from her first marriage and BIL also has a son. They both have shared residency with their ex's so the children only live with them part-time. Would consider doing it for them. Couldn't do it for anyone else though.

aloha · 18/01/2005 14:44

God no. Can't imagine anything worse.

KateandtheGirls · 18/01/2005 14:47

Well I didn't enjoy being pregnant and I hated childbirth, so I would have to say no. On the other hand if either of my sisters (who aren't yet at the stage of thinking about having children) were unable to conceive and wanted me to do it I would probably consider it.

FineFigureFio · 18/01/2005 14:49

Not for a stranger.

Incidentally my sister asked me if she had reached the stage of marrying if I would have a child for her. At the time i said 'no, I dont think so" but tbh I think I would have done if she had been settled etc and dh approved

spacedonkey · 18/01/2005 14:51

If my sister asked me to do it, then I think I would. But she would never dream of asking!

bundle · 18/01/2005 14:51

i was completely in awe of someone i once met who'd donated eggs, that's a tough enough thing to do!

pinkdiamond · 18/01/2005 15:08

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pinkdiamond · 18/01/2005 15:09

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aloha · 18/01/2005 15:10

Don't have a sister but would never donate eggs. they might end up in a 67-year-old Romanian! Anyway my eggs = my child in my view.

Bunglie · 18/01/2005 15:13

The simple answer is no. I have carried a child, felt it move and held it in my arm. Loved and nurtured it only to know that it is now calling someone else Mummy and Daddy. I think if it were a member of your family then possibly, but I do not understand how these women do do it. They must be so generous and unselfish.

I met a girl who donated her eggs to a clinic in Harley St she was only allowed to donate twice and had to squirt stuff up her nose and have injections before the final collection which must have been very uncomfortable. I was in awe of her until I found out that she was paid over £500, for inconvenience as she told me that it is illegal for them to pay you for donating eggs so they do it this way. All seems a bit dodgy to me, but I will not name the clinic and she did go through a lot of discomfort. I know that they only let her do it twice and the second 'harvest' produced 10 eggs, and she is not at all worried about where they go or anything. I do feel that in time a whole can of worms could be opened up here. On the positive side she was unselfish enough to do it and now at least (hopefully) 5 couples have a baby that they would otherwise not have had.