Housing association, overcrowded

[Hailly]

Hi all. I'm looking for some advice.
We have been a housing association tenant for just over 11 years now. The last 5 of these years we have been classed as overcrowded as my children are different genders. When I first approached both the council and my landlord, the only option that they said was available was house swapping. So, I signed myself up to multiple swapping sites and social media groups and really put myself out there. But the rejection was horrid. Even though my property is in good condition and in a sort after area, no one and I mean absolutely no one wants a top floor apartment, even though it's only 3 floors.
Me and my partner have moved into the living room, but it's an open plan living room/kitchen. My partner works nights, which basically means the living room and kitchen is out of bounds as he's sleeping. Having no communal space is creating a real separation in the family. We've looked in separating one of the bedrooms but this isn't practical. One of the rooms would not have a window, and floor space would be tiny for two growing teenagers.
I have recently approached the council again. They told me that I would need to re-apply and sent me a link. Going through the application it dawned on me that I was infact starting the whole process again. I really don't understand why I'm having to do this when I was already successful in securing a lifetime tenancy. So I didn't complete the application.
I'm really worried that during this process, on paper would they think we should be OK and no longer eligible for housing. In this case, what will happen to my current tenancy? We have both worked really hard over the years and are no longer on any kind of benefits (except child benefit). But we still live paycheck to paycheck and not really been able to save. We are constantly cutting bills where we can. In no way could we afford to leave housing and go to private rent, we would be in a worse off position then before joing housing in the first place. This whole thing has made me feel vulnerable. I feel trapped and like I'm massively failing my family and I'm struggling mentally. I don't know where to turn.
I'm hoping someone here has had the same experience and can point me in the right direction.

Thank you everyone for your comments, clarity and advice although it not the best news lol!! I will apply anyway and stay on the swap sites keeping my fingers crossed. I didn't realise how bad the reality is and some of your stories have definitely given me some perspective. Good luck everyone who is still waiting. Thank you x

I live in an area where a few families I know got upgraded to fantastic new builds ( previous neighbours). They had 3 kids and 2 bedrooms which sounds different to your situation. It's just luck of the dice at times now.

If there's any way to modify what you have. The situation I fear won't improve. I would keep looking at the swap options and even research online how to make your home look more appealing.

Some people add thousands to the value of homes they sell with certain techniques.

So for now it looks like a swap is the best hope. Re do the pictures, re write the write up.

If you are sleeping in open plan living area/kitchen…..where’s your boiler?

that’s how I got a bigger house.

I’ve just downsized via mutual exchange. You have to stick at it

We're all electric and the water tank and thermostat are in the hall way. Thanks for trying though lol x

Sounds tough. Have you looked at private renting (even in a less expensive area). Mumsnet seems to be anti private rental but it gives you some control over the destiny of your life. You don't need this current stress. Good luck.

The thing that puts me off private renting is the insecurity. I know a few people where the landlord has had to sell up. One of my friends has had real bad luck and it's happened to them 3 times. Plus repairs ect can be more challenging. I just feel disgruntled that I'm in the position of having to seriously consider giving up my life time contract and be in a worse position.

Don’t underestimate the value of individual space, no matter how small.
I was in a similar position many years ago and did the room divider, As the window was on the short end of the room with the door opposite, we had to put a clear Perspex window along the top of the divider for light in the inner side. The HA rehung the door so that it could accommodate the bed more easily. The dividing door was one of those concertina ones and obviously you had to walk through one room to get to the other. The older child was in the further side with the window. It wasn’t ideal but we made it work.
At the point the elder child left home, I was still on the waiting list.