Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Verbal Abuse - What would you do?

42 replies

BubblesDeVere · 12/01/2005 15:46

Just thought that I would pick everyones brains.

About 2 years ago I had an argument with a mum at school (out of school hours)We were never friends but had a row over someone else. Since then we have ignored each other completely which is fine by me as I never liked her.

Since that time, whenever a) I am on my own either with or without the children b) she is with friends

I get called names, like today for instance, I had dd2 in my arms and was walking past her when she glared at me and called me Fat Fu*er. A while ago whilst I was walking with dd1 and dd2 she walked past with her kids and grabbed her son who is 6 and said 'Move in move in, keep ahold of your sweets Fat Fu*er passing'.

She never does in when she is on her own or when my dh is with me.

It doesn't bother me, I know I am fat and I'm actively doing something about it, but, what I don't like is the fact that she says it in front of my children and also her own.

She is from a very rough family and she loves causing a scene and being the centre of attention, so me having a go at her is exactly what she wants and I am better than that.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
jangly · 12/01/2005 16:09

Totally ignore her. Don't smile - that might infuriate her. Don't get in any verbal exchange. If it gets threatening definitely try the police, or perhaps speak to a solicitor?

Stilltrue · 12/01/2005 16:14

She definitely seems to be trying to provoke you into something - action? verbal retort? who knows. You are right; you are better than her so, hard as it must be, do NOTHING. That's what she'll want least...

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 12/01/2005 16:38

Poor you, what a witch of a woman she is. I know it's hard and I'd be having massive and sad revenge fantasies but I agree with everyone who says ignore her. Can you find someone you can walk into school with so you're not alone? If it wasn't fat whatever it would be something else she'd call you, you've just got to not let her see she's getting to you. I'm sure her threats are empty but what she wants is a reaction, don't give it to her. I do know how hard it is, I was involved ina contretemps with a vile woman at the school where my son used to go and it really affected my life so I really sympathise. In our case she shouted obscenities at my dp while he had ds in the car on the way home from school and we managed to get the police to have a word with her. They agreed to do that but said there wasn't much else they could do. She intimidated us big time but we were moving out of the area, which is how it ended for us. Her bullying still has repercussions as she reported my car a write off (it wasn't! I drove it for another 2 years) and therefore my trade in value was affected to the tune of £500, nothing I could do. I was furious and had revenge fantasies all over again but the best revenge really is living well, as someone (can't remember who) said.

SoupDragon · 12/01/2005 16:42

Register her name and address on the mailing list for "Fat Face" or some other comically named company. Or better still, her address and a name like "Mrs Cattlehead"

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 12/01/2005 16:45

Soupy

OP posts:
tarantula · 12/01/2005 17:08

I also say ignore her but while doing so thing of all the nasty horrible things youd like to do to her and smirk. That should leave her very confused. Bullies are best ignored if possible.

lowcalCOD · 12/01/2005 17:08

now thta is a good idea
incontience pad st oo?

lowcalCOD · 12/01/2005 17:10

yes smirks or smiles are hard
base it on this smiletastic

TwoIfBySea · 12/01/2005 20:16

Ignoring seems the best thing, walk past thinking of something else, anything else really so you have that lost in thought look. Maybe just repeat to yourself - "if you get down in the mud with the pigs you just get dirty, and they like that." Thinking of her as a pig will cheer you up no end!

Or smile your brightest smile and say really loudly in your cheeriest voice "Hi, how are you?" then walk past. That might flumox (sp?) her as these twats are never that bright when it comes down to it.

I do think all these families, and every town has one or two, should be sent to one selected town to live together. Then us normals could watch the ensuing fun on CCTV!

Hugs Bubbles, you are so much better than her.

joash · 12/01/2005 20:32

TwoIfBySea - I was gonna sugest the same as your "smile your brightest smile and say really loudly in your cheeriest voice "Hi, how are you?" then walk past"

Having made one or two enemies in the past - I always use that ploy, expecially with obvious idiots - it really does totally flumoux them and if their friends are with them, you can often see their friends minds ticking over as if thinking "She's really nice actually".

Dior · 12/01/2005 20:54

Message withdrawn

janeybops · 12/01/2005 21:09

One strategy for dealing with bullies is to agree in a laughing sort of a way with everything they say! It is really hard to keep being offensive when people are smiling and replying 'yes I AM a fat f**ker!!!!'
You are right I am a whore, etc etc.

Bullies find it very un-nerving!

Evesmama · 12/01/2005 21:10

say to your children as you pass her in a very load voice...see thats what happens if you dont go to school and are uneducated

Piffle · 12/01/2005 21:18

crikey what a abhorrent wench, to think she is raising children.
Ideas
If in school grounds and you are convinced head teacher is decent person, complain to them about the foul language within earshot of tender innocent ears.
recite sticks and stones so many times until you believe it.
And thridly pity her kids and her husband cos at least yours have got a decent civil woman coming home to care and parent
Darling the best revenge is a great life, just think on friends reunited in 20 yrs time when your child is successful and hers is possibly not...
Long time coming... but as I recently found out
So sweet

WestCountryLass · 12/01/2005 21:21

I think you should kill her with kindness! When she says things like 'hold on to your sweets' to her friends, say something like 'thanks, you are doing me a favour' and when she just shouts 'f* f' at you the just smile and say' hi, i', fine, how are you?'. She will a) look like a total arse in front of her friends, b) you will maintain the moral high ground and c) you are not inciting the situation.

Good luck! She is a horrible, horrible woman and whether you are overweight or not, your kids do not need to hear that!

lowcalCOD · 12/01/2005 21:22

yes I agree wcl

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 13/01/2005 13:52

Thank you so much all for your ideas.

Piffle, a while ago she was sleeping with her ex hubbys best mate (whilst they were on a break and hubby was living with him), she got back with hubby, has now broken up with him and since the break up has brought numerous men to concerts etc, she was bragging at one one point that she does not know who is the father of her youngest. When she is talking about things that other people would consider private she likes to shout so that she is heard by all and sundry.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page