Hi SM
I had a surgical termination when I was 23 (ten years ago) and another by pills in 2004. When comparing the two, I have to say that I personally would go down the 'pills' route. My medical termination for me was not a very nice experience, as I was frightened of going under anaesthetic and although obviously have no recollection of the procedure itself, I felt very poorly coming back out of the anaesthetic, sick etc. and could only have the anaesthetic because somebody else was with me.
There was a room full of ladies and young girls having the same procedure done that day and we all sat around waiting with our partners in a silent, awkward atmosphere until we were called through one by one, which was also a really horrible experience.
Obviously this was 10 years ago and so things could have improved by now.
In 2004 I was 7 weeks pg. I had an appointment with a doctor at my local hospital, he asked me lots of questions about my health, if I had children and a few moral questions as well, but overall he was very matter of fact about it and I was happy to answer as I just wanted out of the situation. He made it clear to me that if I went through a termination I may never be able to conceive again, which I accepted. I was scanned and saw the foetus' heart beat, which was pretty tough, although the doctor said I could look away if I wanted to.
I then went straight through to another room with a nurse and took a pill, this was on the Wednesday and I think I'm right in saying that the foetus's heart stops beating fairly soon after the first pill is taken. I went home but had to go back again if I was sick within two hours, which I wasn't.
I then went into work and carried on with life as usual until the Saturday.
I had to be back on the ward by 10am, my ExP was working and so I went along alone.
The worst thing about the whole experience for me was that I had to stay on the maternity ward. I really wanted to keep my baby but I had no support from my ExP or any of my family and I already had a DS by this time and so I didn't feel that I could manage financially or emotionally on my own with 2 DCs and so I did what I thought was best for my DS.
It was very hard having lots of new mothers and babies and hearing babies crying while I was going through this procedure, but I was shown into a really nice side room and I have to say that all the staff were lovely and not at all judgemental.
I was given the other pill and then it was just a question of waiting. The staff explained exactly what would happen and so I was prepared. I took a couple of good books in with me to take my mind off things, then just sat in bed and paced a bit (was a bit boring actually!) and waited. The pain was bad, but I would say no more than a very bad period pain and to be honest it wasn't constant, it was managable and I have quite a low pain threshold.
I started to feel VERY hot (my body temp. shot up, I felt faint and sick, but wasn't sick) and went to sit on the toilet as the pain was getting worse, but not bad enough that I needed to call anybody. Then I felt a 'rush' of something and immediately my body cooled down and the pain went. (This all happened very quickly), I stood up, saw what was in the kidney dish (they have to catch everything in a cardboard dish thingy so they can check to make sure everything has come out), had a little cry to myself (although it just looked like a red lump, nothing horrible, but I knew what it was IYSWIM), called the nurse and told her that I thought it had passed. She checked the bowl and told me to rest. I got back into bed and slept until 6pm when my ExP came to collect me.
I would say that this was a much better experience as I was 'in control' and aware of what was happening the whole time and this suits the kind of person I am, but maybe this is also because I was much older the second time and so didn't panic so much / was more 'mature' in my feelings for what had happened.
I have to say afterwards I almost felt elated, but think this was because I was so relieved it was all over.
I was home that day and had heavy bleeding, like a bad period and my tummy felt tender, but I was able to go about as usual after a good rest that evening.
Now it seems that it didn't really happen to me as it's such a distant memory, but I would say that the pain was bad, but not incredibly bad physically, but (at the risk of sounding cheesy), the emotional pain of going through that, that feeling that I was too useless to stand up for what I wanted and what was best for my unborn baby and the wondering what would have been, which I still do from time to time, for me personally is a pain that I don't think I will ever get over.
My advice is the same as most of the other posters, seek medical advice as everybody's body is different and reacts in different ways and also be prepared for the emotional side of things as the physical pain for me is long since gone but the 'guilt' stays with me, although I still feel I made the right decision.
Good luck with it all though and I will be keeping everything crossed for you. Also, bear in mind that medicine / medical procedures are improving all the time, so it may be a different experience / easier pain wise for you by now?? x x