Safeguarding referral from A&E due to partner

[ChubbyChickadee]

I have a six year old son, have been in a relationship with someone with mental health issues for a year now.

On Thursday when DS and I were in our way to a funeral, my partner went for a walk and OD’d. We obviously met her in the hospital, and the A&E nurse stated that there was a safeguarding concern for my son.

Background, we don’t live together, she hasn’t ever been his sole caretaker. Nanny came and collected him from ha and he has stayed with her since. Spoke to other nurses and doctors and they were confused as to the reason but nobody could tell me what to expect.

j was given a lot of ‘it’s extra support for her’ and he shouldn’t be taken away from you etc. I tried googling and all I could find was a call within 24hrs which I haven’t had.

I’m petrified what is going to happen next. Don’t know how to tell my parents (very judgemental) about what is going on, so have literally no support. The hospital have done nothing to help and are literally discharging her whilst she is still having suicidal thoughts and yeah, I’m struggling and just want some reassurance what to expect in regards to my little boy, who is literally my whole world.

Maybe because women generally have more sense regarding small children?

Agree with the replies I have read - it was inappropriate for you tot take your son to the hospital, so hope you can reflect on that and take steps to avoid him being exposed to anything like that again. His safety is not just about her having sole care, it’s about what he is exposed to and how that impacts him. This includes the stress you are under. Maybe your parents are not the best to discuss this with but do you have any friends who can give you their perspective on the relationship? Re social work - just work with them on the risks that are there, sounds like a bit of input will be beneficial to you.

'We obviously met her in the hospital'
This sentence is so disturbing. Very much acting against the child's best interests.

Very slightly off topic, but we were referred to children’s services non-consensually after an A&E visit with a young baby who had managed to wriggle off our bed (he was uninjured, but we were scared enough as new parents to go to A&E anyway). Some person in the reception decided my obvious distress and mention of the word ‘rolled’ merited a safeguarding referral.

The social worker who visited us realised immediately that we were a basically functional family, and the subsequent report reflected that. Nothing to see here. It was just utterly terrifying while it was happening.

If your circumstances are such that there is ‘nothing to see here’ then someone will do a visit and there will be ‘nothing to see here’. Social Services have more cases of severe neglect than they have resources to bother functional families who ‘acted a bit strange’ in a stressful situation.

I agree with this. If you have an emotionally unstable and/or personality disordered partner it is likely that your child is nothing more than an impediment to them gaining all of your attention energy and resources.
An obstacle to be removed or at least crushed so that they can't compete with you.

it’s actually bringing because the child was brought to the funeral, taking would be if they were removing (I.e taking away) them from the funeral. Maybe look things up before posting.

… and you might not, which is fine, but don’t berate others for doing it when it is fine to do. What harm do you think that has caused? None. Death is a fact of life and a lot of people are far too scared of acknowledging that.

Hopefully the OP has had the reassurance they wanted and the reality check that they needed.

What harm do you think that has caused? None. Death is a fact of life and a lot of people are far too scared of acknowledging that.

Having lived in a few other places, and having a couple of different family cultures influencing both my DH and I, I can say with confidence that the children here (Britain) are exposed to way too much as a child. It’s not “real life” or “building resilience”, it’s exposing your DC to things they don’t need to see as a child. Our society is pretty screwed up right now, and a lot of that is down to some seriously piss poor parenting.

I was not taken to funerals as a DC. My dad blocked it. I wouldn’t take my DC to a funeral unless it was an immediate family member.

Let children be children. There is a reason why things have age limits. They are not mature enough to deal with them.

It doesn’t sound like the OP took her DS to an immediate family member’s funeral. It is probably a mate, or acquaintance and she is bringing him along.

That poor kid. At 6, his head should be filled with Disney and Lego, not having a child’s role in a Tim Burton movie.