Safeguarding referral from A&E due to partner

[ChubbyChickadee]

I have a six year old son, have been in a relationship with someone with mental health issues for a year now.

On Thursday when DS and I were in our way to a funeral, my partner went for a walk and OD’d. We obviously met her in the hospital, and the A&E nurse stated that there was a safeguarding concern for my son.

Background, we don’t live together, she hasn’t ever been his sole caretaker. Nanny came and collected him from ha and he has stayed with her since. Spoke to other nurses and doctors and they were confused as to the reason but nobody could tell me what to expect.

j was given a lot of ‘it’s extra support for her’ and he shouldn’t be taken away from you etc. I tried googling and all I could find was a call within 24hrs which I haven’t had.

I’m petrified what is going to happen next. Don’t know how to tell my parents (very judgemental) about what is going on, so have literally no support. The hospital have done nothing to help and are literally discharging her whilst she is still having suicidal thoughts and yeah, I’m struggling and just want some reassurance what to expect in regards to my little boy, who is literally my whole world.

Your child doesn’t need this minefield in his life. There is no relationship that is worth more than your child’s stability and care, his parents girlfriend having attempted suicide is not something he should ever be part of and you made him a part of it when you took him to the hospital. You put him at risk by exposing him to someone in a severe MH crisis. That is why the doctor has referred.

Put your child first, OP. Your son is your dependant, not your girlfriend. You don't even live together. Don't be sucked into being her carer or mental support person, especially if it's at the expense of your relationship with your child. It could be she isn't well enough to be in a relationship right now regardless of whether she wants to be. She could also be being manipulative by taking an overdose while you were meant to be attending a funeral, to prevent you from going and possibly also to drive a wedge between you and your family or friends by not attending it.

The bottom line is that your child needs to be a priority and this relationship means he cannot be. The safeguarding team won’t be there to reprimand you but to support you. I’d accept the support to get out of this relationship and find happiness elsewhere. I am sorry your partner is poorly but it’s early days if you’ve only been together a year and your child comes first.

What. Are. You. Thinking.

Getting into a relationship with anyone who has mental health issues and suicidal tendancies when you have a child to consider?

Taking the child to the hospital and exposing them to a situation like this?

Farming them off to a nanny?

Yes of course family are judgemental. Your own judgement is on the blink.

Is it possible the OD happened precisely because your attention was on your child, the funeral, your own grief, instead of securely on them?

Is there an abusive element here?

It's only been a year. Why blow up your child's life for a recent relationship?

Step away. Your girlfriend needs support you can't give, and your child needs you.

Put your child first FFS. You’re supposed to be a parent, act like one.

No wonder SS were called. Your poor son.

There is a very simple way to protect your child in all of this. Your girlfriend should not be a part of your son’s life, not even for a single moment. She is going through a mental health crisis and is not related to your son. He doesn’t need to be involved. He shouldn’t even overhear you discussing her in the phone.

you should be seriously considering your relationship as well. The timing of the overdose is problematic. You also have a child to prioritize and it will be next to impossible to completely compartmentalize the two relationships

The safeguarding referral is not due to your partner. It's due to your actions. You need to realize this and change your behavior.

Hi,
No judgement here, but to answer your question.
They will contact your child’s school to identify any concerns they have and to inform them of the incident. They are likely to have a strategic meeting, bringing together all agencies/services/people of importance to asses any potential risks.
During that meeting they will decide the next course of action.
Your best course of action would be to comply and be honest

I'd be prioritising your child over someone who has mental health crises and who Overdoses when you are attending a Funeral.

It sounds like attention seeking -OD'ing when you are at a Family Funeral, to bring you running back to heel..

Do you really want this pattern of behaviour to continue?- I suspect the Hospital have your GF's medical history and are quite rightly flagging the high drama up to Safeguarding.

It's also not remotely surprising that your family are very concerned.

Your son needs keeping well away from overdosing dramas - it's absolutely not fair on him to witness it.

He's an innocent child. Please consider him over the high drama GF.

Dragging a child to the drama of an overdosing adult that isn't related to him is not a good thing.
Children need stability and calm, not scary stuff..It must have been concerning from a child safety perspective to have triggered the referral.

If your son really is your whole world, as you stated, then you would have thought of him first, not your g/f.
Hospital isn't a good place for young children, let alone visiting someone who OD.
Without a full explanation (and you don't need to give us that) I think you didn't put your son first and that is what they are concerned with. We don't know what triggered the OD but I guess it's likely the person is unstable and not someone you should expose your son to. She is a g/f of a year, not his mother.

You need to massively prioritise your child!

Exactly this. ⬆️

Quite possibly not the first OD, either.

I’ve never heard anyone describe their child as their whole world who has actually acted like it.

Act like it.

It should be OK, but you really need to understand that they will have significant concerns about what your son is being exposed to, and you need to show them that you are cognisant of those concerns and will address them properly.

In simple terms, this means if they say 'jump'; you say: 'how high?'.

If not, then you will be in more hot water than you could ever imagine.

This.

Is the suicide attempt emotional manipulation to keep her partner where she wants them. If so it worked since the partner dropped everything and came running.

Your child isn't your whole world, as you've chosen to have a relationship with.someone with MH problems.
I have MH issues and the knock on effect it's had upon my DC? If I rewind time, I would not have had children (I absolutely adore my DC) as it's a terrible burden for children to have a parent who struggles with chronic MH issues.

If your child were actually your whole world, none of this would have happened.

You are not protecting your child. Listen carefully to the posts on this thread. WAKE UP!!!

Your child comes first. End of.

Your child should come first, end this relationship and next time you get into a relationship make sure the person is stable, so you won't ever put your child at risk.
Why an earth you would want to expose your son to this is beyond me.

Honestly, I can’t believe you took the child to the hospital. Why?

Your do may not live with you but you are allowing your dp to mental health to impact your child.

The purpose of this is information sharing. You’ll get a follow up call to ask you more about the living arrangements and stuff, they will note it all. Sounds like his boy is never in her care alone anyway. They should have explained this to you!

This is just a new relationship and sounds like something you should not be in if you have a young child.

I can see why the referral was made. Your judgement of what was appropriate to expose your child to was off by a wide margin, in the first place by getting involved with someone with serious MH issues, and secondly by bringing him to A&E to witness an adult having a MH crisis.

What would happen if your son had to be brought to A&E and the girlfriend interpreted this as abandonment? I agree with several other posters here that the timing of the OD was not merely coincidental.

You need to start being a lot more sensible. Your child needs you.