RANT ABOUT MIL

[horseshoe]

She drives me mad....

Last year we asked her to just let us know what she was getting DD for xmas so we could make sure there were no doubles....she told us we had a cheek in even asking. Well she did double up and i thought she has learned her lesson....this year she did tell us..only xmas day she produced 3 more expensive presents on top of what she had already brought and all 3 were doubles of what i have brought dd for her birthday which is in a few days. I now dont have any receipts and have had big row with DH about it as he thinks i am picking on his family but truth is my family arn't that stupid......To top it off i just caught her in time giving DD a quality street with a peanut in it last night...DD is 2 in a few days

Thank you...feel better now

Her present for this season was the discussion of the century where she told DH such horrible things about me that DH says he will never forgive and I have no idea what she said but her final retort while I was leaving when she acussed me of separating her from his son, told me I was going to regret it and finally splurting a VoldeMIL menace: We'll meet again!!! We have not spoken since...

Chandri Potter

Horseshoe, I would be tempted to thank your MIL ever so sweetly so she is pleased with herself, then knock her back by telling her that the presents were doubled up as she didn't warn you of the extra three and that you know as she is sooooooo generous hearted that she'll be pleased you are sending HERS to SE Asia relief fund!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must have full description of how you tell her this, your tone of voice, her facial expressions, etc.
You can of course take the toys to a shop that doesn't demand the receipt, ie John Lewis who will refund of exchange.

objects to the references to strange oz culture!!!Lonelymum!!!

I have gone out of my way over the years to include MIL in our lives and to treat her as I treat my own parents. However, this Christmas has shown me that it doesn't matter what effort I make. She will please herself anyway.

She was supposed to come here on DS2's birthday (14th Dec). She called the day before to find out when we would be in and was told all evening from 4.30pm onwards. DS2 knew she was coming. She didn't turn up. We received a phone call at 9.30pm (when she knew DS2 would be in bed) to say that she'd hurt her hand and couldn't drive. So why couldn't she pick up the phone earlier and explain this to DS2 and wish him a happy birthday??

She came round the following evening and we discussed the school show which was taking place the following day. Both DS1 and DS2 were in this, with DS2 having the lead role. She had previously asked if she could come and I'd had to beg an extra ticket (they were like golddust). We discussed times and where we would meet her etc. The following morning (i.e. the day of the show) she called at 8am to say that she'd forgotten she was seeing friends that evening and so wouldn't be coming to the show! This is a retired person whose time is her own for the whole bldy year. She can see these friends whenever she wants. How often will she get to see 2 of her grandchildren perform in their school show??

Despite all this, we invited her for the day on 27th December (she always spends Christmas day with SIL and on Boxing Day we had all my family here, which would have been too much for her). She agreed to come on 27th. She turned up at 10am and during the course of the morning happened to mention that Tony (her man friend) was cooking lunch. DH and I looked at each other, puzzled. When questioned about this, it turned out that as Tony was going to be by himself on that day, MIL had agreed to have lunch with him, rather than spend the day with us. This is someone she sees virtually every day of her life. We see her about 6 times a year - and she lives 3 miles away. She left at about midday, having spent the grand total of 2 hours with her son and grandchildren.

I give up.

Two Christmases ago my MIL followed me into the kitchen and gave me a small bottle of Evian water (the size that fits into a child's lunchbox) saying that this was for her son to drink (i.e my BIL who was at that time 38 years of age). Our water was not good enough apparantly!. Bloody freeloaders the lot of them.

BTW he drank the tap water!.

This particular action (one of many that year) was the catalyst for us (okay, well me!!!) to persuade DH to get away from them (and mis parentes as well but that's another story) at Christmas time. Once again, we were on holiday at Christmas.

MeerkatsUniteForLifeNotJustForChristmas

My MIL does my head in. We all travelled 150 miles to see her, FIL, BIL and girlfriend and very old great granny(who is THE sweetest person!!). It was the only time we would see them over Christmas and it was supposed to be a family day. So, we get there, she opens the door, shrieks that we mustn't come anywhere near her because she has a cold, and disappears somewhere to clean. No welcome, no taking of coats, no offer of a drink or a seat!!! We were left to wander in aimlessly! The family day turned out not to be as FIL dragged DH upstairs to talk business, and MIL had invited complete strangers round so we could meet them, again under the guise of business!! There was a buffet, but absolutely nothing my kids would eat (DS2 very fussy, DS1 egg allergy and everything had egg or mayonnaise!!). By 6pm the boys were climbing the wall so we went out to see the lights on the seafront and nipped into the arcades with BIL and girlfriend. Boys starving so we did McD's (nothing else open) and when we got back to MIL's she picked a fight about them having McD's "THAT'S got no nutrition in!" she shrieked at me. I refused to enter the fight, so about 20 mins later she picked one with DH, so we left!! This is the woman who moans we never see her nad avoids us like the plague when she does have the opportunity! She didn't even see DS2 until he was nearly a year old, even though she had been here to England on business with FIL several times - and near us too!!!! FIL thinks our house is squalid (honestly, just normal - MIL is a compulsive cleaner) so they won't even stay with us now - SO sad! Sorry it's a long rant!!

Freckle, 6 times a year sounds perfect!

"She did us the courtesy of dying before he was born"

Sorry but I think that's terrible thing to say! My MIL died 6 months before I even met DH - that means that not only did I never get to meet her, but my boys will only ever have one grandmother - and she's a disabled one who already has trouble playing with them and she's only 54

i think santagoestothegym was joking gwen!

horseshoe - just wanted to check, you arn't my sil are you? our mils must have been seperated at birth

do you ever get the 'well i did it/used it an all mine were fine' speech?

Well, 6 times a year is fine by me, but the boys miss their gran. Even DS2 said something about granny preferring people she sees all the time to her grandsons, so they notice too.

sorry - lockets hadn't seen you already posted something similar - if it was a joke - it wasn't a very nice one!

Just hope that if any of your mothers are dead that you don't find you DH's 'joking' about it on a forum somewhere

Yes, very insensitive

I think SGTTG has had problems with her MIL in the past from reading her other posts on this thread.

Still quite a callous thing to say, but she's not here to defend herself, so I don't feel comfortable condemning her till I know why she wrote what she did. Am I making any sense?!

Condemn wrong choice of word perhaps - should be in bed

i think she was just joking though and didnt mean to offend anyone. she put a grin emotion on it

but it still makes you think though? i can understand that. i'm sorry you lost your mil, im lucky my great granparents are still going strong so my ds's are the 5th generation.