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Original poster

Will hopefully speak to you all soon(ish)............and sorry.....

103 replies

FAQ · 27/03/2008 02:48

I've realised that I've spent the last few weeks (especially the last week) just moaning. You've all given me lovely, kind, helpful advice and support, but I'm just not ready to act on it.

I need to deal with this on my own so won't be around until I've kicked myself into gear.

I'm sorry for wasting all your time trying to help and encourage me, but, well I'm reading it, understanding and knowing what you're saying is right, but I just can't do anything about it right now.

Hopefully will be back soon once I've given myself a kick up the arse and got myself sorted

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nappyaddict · 27/03/2008 03:18

Sorry I haven't really followed your posts so i'm not sure what the situation is. I know you've split up with H, but don't know the reasons behind it or anything. Just to say MN is here to support you - moan all you like! it's what we are here for

Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 03:23

I know - but I've moaned and haven't felt able to take anyones advice. I don't like messing people around like this. All the time that some people are investing in me giving me advice, and I just can't do anything with it right now.......there are other people on MN who are ready to take their advice and I just want them to stop wasting their time on me and help the people they can help

I just need to sort myself out first..........

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nappyaddict · 27/03/2008 03:32

But even if you can't take our advice, just let us be there for you. Let us try and cheer up up, make you smile and laugh, if only for a few minutes a day?

nappyaddict · 27/03/2008 03:33

in fact look at the youtube thread i just posted. that will definitely make you smile i promise

Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 03:41

What's the good of you being there for me if I can't take your advice??

I've been on threads before where people need help - and most times they they help your help.

But how the hell is someone who's had 5 x 20cl bottles of (neat) brandy, and 2 x 35 bottles of brandy in just 5 days supposed to react - people have told me the drink isn't going to help, and given me advice on how to cope with the boys, but none of that takes into consideration that even while I'll was out having lunch with Shelleylou yesterday (Wednesday) I was drinking neat brandy out of a Diet Iron Bru bottle!!! I've f*cked up big time and I need to sort this out on my own

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Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 03:43

sorry that should read most times if they want help they take you help. Not what I wrote above

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Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 03:46

Anyhow, what are you doing up at this time in the morning??????

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nappyaddict · 27/03/2008 03:54

duno, don't want to go to sleep yet.

Have you got someone who could take the dc for you for a few days to give you a bit of a break?

Califrau · 27/03/2008 05:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityTheProgressingRhino · 27/03/2008 06:59

Big higs FAQ
Hope you sort yourself and get back here soon
xxx

Flamesparrow · 27/03/2008 08:34

Oh FAQ, I was on a thread with you the other night, had no idea you were drinking

Am here to listen if you want it, but can completely see where you are coming from.

I've been thinking about you a lot, I know that doesn't help, but you have people who care

xxx

Lulumama · 27/03/2008 08:37

i hope you will be back soon

the fact you recognise the drinking is a problem is good

you are having a tough time, you are allowed to whinge and moan and wail as much as you want

look after yourself and be kind to yourself

xx

hecate · 27/03/2008 08:46

Don't be daft. It doesn't MATTER if you don't take advice. Don't ask for it, just get your feelings off your chest. I know I'm happy to read your 'moans' without thinking 'oh, WHY isn't she doing what I said' because I know that what you need is just to type what you're feeling and feel like someone is out there, listening to you. We can give you emotional support or just have a natter without trying to get you to change your life before you're ready, you know!!

You need a period to adjust, reflect and come to terms with the end of your marriage. It's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect that you can turn around a week or so after the split and reinvent yourself.

You are being too hard on yourself. And furthermore, you are underestimating your fellow mumsnetter and their desire to be there for you when you need it. MN is not just about pissing around and arguing about P&T spaces.

So do not remove yourself from MN because you need a friendly ear, you nit! When you are feeling better, you will be able to offer that same support to someone else who, sadly, will be going through the same thing. Swings & roundabouts.

SmugColditz · 27/03/2008 08:49

FAQ you are allowed to moan. Really.

You think that hundreds of bored intelligent women gather online to discuss eyeliners and nappy liners? No. We are a support network, and you are part of it.

zippitippitoes · 27/03/2008 08:50

i don't think i give advice so dont expect anyone to take tit

i go through phases of doing all the wrong things despite myself

everyone does

if you feel mn isnt the right place take a break but not because you think you are wasting peoples time

littlelapin · 27/03/2008 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WanderingTrolley · 27/03/2008 08:56

FAQ stick around - I don't think I've 'spoken' to you much, but I'm aware of your situation. A week after your (d)h left is far too soon to be sorted out forever. Maybe you've set your sights too high? You're allowed to moan, grump, let off steam and be miserable. I think I'd be worried if your posts had been about how brilliant everything has been, and how wonderful your life was.

The drink is another issue. I really don't know what to say, other than 'keep talking.'

It doesn't matter whether you take someone's advice or not - anyone who is offering advice and expecting it to be taken to the letter is delusional imo. You have to let off steam before the pressure is off, and only then can you 'get yourself sorted.'

You don't have to take advice.

Really hope you're feeling better soon. Don't go. Lurk, at least

Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 09:35

no I have to go, I've fucked up big time, which I suppose is nothing new for me. DS1 was nearly late for school this morning, and DS2 was late for nursery......because of me.

I don't deserve any help or advice and really, really think you should save it for someone who can actually appreciate what you're trying to do.

I know the drinking is a problem, but I can't stop

Just feel so utterly awful, but I need to get myself sorted, on my own, no-one can help me with this I have to do it myself, without wasting anyone elses time.

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saltire · 27/03/2008 09:38

Don't feel like that FAQ. Even if you don't take out advice, the fact you are actually reading it means you know we are trying to help.
That didn't really make sense did it.
I hope you get yourself sorted soon,a dn come back. Infact don't go.

berolina · 27/03/2008 09:39

Those are very negative self-destructive thoughts FAQ - that way lies depression - try to challenge them in your head. If you isolate yourself you may find getting that alternative perspective on yourself more difficult. Stay around, nobody considers time talking to you to be time wasted.

Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 09:50

they're the only thoughts I have, all the time, even when I'm putting on my "happy face" to people so they don't know what's going on with me, I'm still thinking the same things

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zippitippitoes · 27/03/2008 09:57

faq i'm not doing anything on saturday i'll com eover and say hello

Buda · 27/03/2008 09:57

Oh FAQ. I sort of know what you mean. I am very overweight and quite often go on diets and keep fit regimes etc and more often give up very quickly - I then get people giving me advice on what to do to lose weight and the type of exercise I should do etc. And (although I know they are well-meaning) I just want to scream. Because I am not at the right place in my head.

I think you are at the wanting to scream at people stage because you know WHAT to do. you are just not ready to do it.

Please please don't think you are wasting anyone's time. You are as much worthy of people's time as anyone else. You are a valued member of MN and have helped out loads of people with advice yourself.

zippitippitoes · 27/03/2008 10:05

well that has driven her off lolol

she may have been wavering before but

Original poster
FAQ · 27/03/2008 10:07

ha ha - who have I ever helped out with advice, no-one it's all me, me, me

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