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Original poster

Will hopefully speak to you all soon(ish)............and sorry.....

103 replies

FAQ · 27/03/2008 02:48

I've realised that I've spent the last few weeks (especially the last week) just moaning. You've all given me lovely, kind, helpful advice and support, but I'm just not ready to act on it.

I need to deal with this on my own so won't be around until I've kicked myself into gear.

I'm sorry for wasting all your time trying to help and encourage me, but, well I'm reading it, understanding and knowing what you're saying is right, but I just can't do anything about it right now.

Hopefully will be back soon once I've given myself a kick up the arse and got myself sorted

OP posts:
padboz · 27/03/2008 12:56

Dont be daft.... you're still looking aren't you??

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 12:57

I got lost trying to find you
even posted on chat looking for you
what have I missed, give me a minute, please pretty please?

padboz · 27/03/2008 12:57

oh thank god dizzy - thought you'd never get here. Smack her will you ?

padboz · 27/03/2008 13:00

sorry - my fault. I said chat didn't I?

my turn to sum up diz. FAQ is leaving cos we're all too nice to her and basically its all down to booze. So we have to crack that problem first.

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 13:02

hi pad sorry I got a bit lost and stupid modem was playing up

FAQ sweetie are you still here? am trying to catch up with the thread before you decide to log off

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 13:06

I think the problem is, and always has been, is that you're too hard on yourself.

You and dh have literally just split up having been living in the same house in strained env for a wee while now and because of the boys you can't throw on your pyjamas and stay in bed for a week or go out and get completely pissed

I think you're coping well. I think you're managing to feed the boys and keep them clean and safe and WHO care if they're nearly late for school and nursery - I can't even manage that and I only have 2

you need to sit down and stop for a minute, stop trying to make everything better instantly as it WILL take time

if you're not ready to speak to you RL friends, who if they are close enough probably already know how down you are but are just waiting on you to say something so as not to upset you further, then at least keep coming on here and speaking to your MN friends

there is not one of us who is not prepared to listen and try to give tips/help/advice/sympathetic ear whenever you need it and by cutting yourself off from your support you'll just find it harder

at least on here you can sit and have a bubble and tell us and it'll be spoken about or forgotten about - whatever you wish

padboz · 27/03/2008 13:09

my lunch hour is up - I have to go, but PLEASE FAQ, when you read this (and I betcher will ) reply and let us know you are alright. If nothing else, try not to drink for that 5 minutes - dont think of a whole day without it, just try to keep putting it off for 5 minutes.

lots of love, pad.

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 13:11

as for not giving our help and advice you've and the others have kept me sane whilst on this bed rest/ feet up bleeding through pregnancy nonsense so you HAVE been a huge help and I for one will certainly miss you if you go

If you have definately decided to log off for a while then at least do it for the right reasons and not because you think we're tired of hearing from you because we're not

there is no shame in coming on here for a moan or a whinge and everyone's problems are as relevant to them as the next person's problems are to them

do you think I shouldn't be posting because I've only had a threatened miscarriage and only those who have lost the baby should post? NO. In that sense you have as much right to post as those who are unfortunately dealing with domestic violence or bereavement as this is the loss of your marriage and right at this moment in time it it the most upsetting thing to you

if you have gone I hope you at least read this even if you don't want to reply

please please PLEASE be kind to yourself

Carmenere · 27/03/2008 13:11

So you are lonely and miserable and drinking too much? Well that is hardly a suprise after what you have been through. and iirc your h hasn't had the boys AT ALL since you split, so you have had to go through all this horribleness withhout any time for you, you must be exhausted and you are obviously not sleeping either.

You need support and I think you should pick up the phone and ring your BF and ask her to come over and talk it through. Asking for help makes you stronger not weaker.
And by the way your ex is a shit, that is why you have split up, certainly not because you were a crap wife. Ha! the idea is laughable.

C'mon girl, I certainly don't have anything better to be doing than chatting to you and I don't care if you ignore my advice, I just want you to know that people on here are there for you. You will be fine, this too will pass.

padboz · 27/03/2008 13:12

See - ^ I knew she'd say the right thing

padboz · 27/03/2008 13:16

if nothing else, why not try chatting about something else on here? something to take your mind off it. We're going to have to rename the bar for you but hey, we can have another kareoke night on lemon fanta, can't we?

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 13:28

cracks out the lemon fanta crate and dusts down the mike...............

Divvy · 27/03/2008 18:48

(((FAQ))) Please feel free to come up here on Saturday...oh...and if you dont post back on here NOW I am coming to your house!

I shall bang on your door...I will!

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 19:09

divvy are you close to FAQ, being in the north of scotland can be such a PITA sometimes

Carmenere · 27/03/2008 19:10

Please come back FAQ.

WallOfSilence · 27/03/2008 19:33

Only just saw this FAQ.

Take care & see you when you're ready xx

Divvy · 27/03/2008 19:37

Yes, she is 5 mins in the car away.

I am stuck in the house myself right now, I will go see her tomoz.

Divvy · 27/03/2008 19:38

She is on facebook now, and have sent her a message to get back on here

padboz · 27/03/2008 19:56

I have no idea why that woman thinks shes not strong - I couldnt hold out for this many hours! I'm in East bloody Kent, but if need be I'll come and bang on the door too!

itsMYmummy · 27/03/2008 19:57

FAQ, I went to playgroup today to see you. Have only sat down now and read this. I want you to know just how much you mean to people. You've allowed yourself to open up on MN and I have read what you've posted, I'am here for you. Please allow me to help, and don't leave MN. You are worth people caring about, you are a good, kind, funny and compassionate lady. You are not 'unworthy', you're hurting, you're lonely, you're grieving you're marriage, and all the future you and dc's will never have with dh. You know you are doing yourself a disservice by drinking so much.
EVERYONE goes through dark times in their lives, this time last year I could'nt get myself together enough to leave the house, i shut myself away and just wanted the whole world to dissapear. I know why you shout at dc's, i used to shout because, they were the only things that stopped me from drifting further, and doing something final. Now I look at them and I know they were my saviours, my little rays of sun in my dark life.
You will look back on this time in your life and see how far you've come, but I won't allow you to beat yourself up any more, agree to meet me or let me know your house number please. x

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 20:00

Divvy am glad you and itsMymummy are near by and looking out for her. I feel like a big useless lump all the way up here - which of course I currently am!

Divvy · 27/03/2008 20:05

Well, I havent been any support to her to be honest. I didnt even know H was going till a week ago, when we bumped into weach other in town.

I can never keep up with her name changes! ...can I faq?

I am here if you ned me though faq xx

padboz · 27/03/2008 20:08

FAQ's a name changer? ha! had no idea! minx!

dizzydixies · 27/03/2008 20:08

that doesn't matter, there is someone close who is there and willing and that is fantastic!!! am not sure I'm in any fit state to start driving about and knocking on doors looking for her esp as I only know she is in England somewhere

itsMYmummy · 27/03/2008 20:11

Hello Divvy, i've only posted on MN for about a week, (lurked for about a year !)
Anyway FAQ was on my first thread and we realised we lived VV close by chance, we then agreed to meet at a playgroup. I guess what i'm trying to say is I don't know FAQ that well, but I really want to help her. I hope to meet you also.