Rewind you life to when you were 20.

[Tulipsroses]

If you could press a magical Time Machine switch and rewind your life to when you were 20, what would you have done differently?

Lose weight sooner. Not put it all back on again during covid. Not give up playing my musical instrument (I went back to it after 6 years but would have been so much better if I'd never stopped). Not wasted so much time on the guy I was with then. Not gone to uni, and just started my business sooner.

So, so much.

I'd have put more energy into improving my mental health, and not been such a difficult, needy person to my then bf (now dh) and parents.

I'd have worked a bit harder at uni, I ended up with a 2:2 and while this didn't impact my career (I was planning on teaching) I knew I was capable of more.

Not got married and had kids. I should have stayed single, travelled and got a decent job. I may not have ended up approaching 60 with Jack all pension, not travelled and earn just over NMW.

Me too.

Told my Dad to get to the Drs soon..and stop ignoring his symptoms.

Isn't it depressing how many of these boil down to: "no got with/stayed with that bloke"?

Gone back to college and finished my A-Levels, then gone on to uni. Made myself focus on having a career instead of being desperate to have a child. Probably would have had children later too.

Stayed in Cornwall and not left the bf and bought the house overlooking the sea .

Not fallen out with my uni mates.

Stayed single.

Changed degree course and uni
Persued an ASD assessment (though it wasn't really acknowledged in women at all back then)

Bigcoffeemug both those things are EXACTLY what I came on to say! If only knowledge of autism then was what it was now, I wouldn't have spent decades floundering.

And I so wish I'd done a different degree.

I'd have helped my mum buy her council house.

I would only change anything if I could be 100% guaranteed to still end up with my children.

But I really wish I had pursued my dream career instead of a boring sensible one that pays the bills. I have huge regrets there. And now I have a mortgage to pay.

Not wasted my time pining after someone who wasn’t interested in me!

I should have worked harder at uni and actually attended all my classes. I should not have let ex-bf move to uni town and should have ended the relationship instead.

20 was by far the best year of my life! I’d had a horrendous year at 19 after dropping out of university and made some terrible choices.

20 was when I did Camp Counsellors USA and lived in New York State for the summer. I met friends for life ( we had a reunion 3 years ago ) and had the time of my life.

within 3 months of getting home i had met
2 different men in the same pub within a few weeks who would go on to be the fathers of both of my dc. I find that crazy!

The one thing I would change would be to stick with my driving lessons and to not be so bloody irresponsible with money.

Oh God, everything. I would tell myself the right diagnosis for my mental health issues, would save me years of pain. And travel more.

Fuck.
Broke up with my fiancé. We broke up eventually anyway but the car crash of our break up had massive ramifications for my mental health and what may or may not have been a sexual assault that wouldn't have happened had I not been insanely unhappy in my relationship.

But.

My suicide attempt wasn't successful.
Joining Samaritans is one of the best choices I ever made.
And who knows if I'd have met DH when I was 29.

Maybe something else would have triggered a break point but I'd have succeeded. Maybe I'd have ended up in a worse relationship than with exfiancé.

More light-heartedly, saved more, drank less, looked after myself more, been kinder to me.

I'd have not been too scared to join the band who asked me to join them and then went on to be very famous and financially successful.

I'd have understood you can break off a friendship as well as a love affair and not had 10 years of being saddled with a demanding bullying, needy drama queen with severe MH issues I was ill-equipped to handle.

I'd treat myself with way more self-respect, compassion and care. I had none at all back then. I'd ask for help I needed not just assume I had no right to it.

Drank less, focused more and ditched toxic friends and stood up for myself

Everything but I'd rewind to a little earlier than that!

Stoped being arsed about what other people think

Not put so much onus on settling down and getting married and having kids.

Had more confidence in myself. For everything.

I went into male dominated industries and was labelled as a trouble causer for my trouble at being better than some of the men.

I am ex forces and work in a male dominated industry now. Still battling the same old shit at times.