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Original poster

I NEED you all to help me make a desicion, please :)

103 replies

nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:37

Right, as I may have mentioned a while ago, I am being bridesmaid for my friend in August.

Her hen weekend is in a few weeks (6ish), and it is a 3 day trip to Spain. Originaly, I said I wasn't going, no money etc etc, but now I may have the money, but I need to decide now, because there are only 2 seats left on the flight.

My friend is desperate for me to go but I can't decide if I want to or not.

Oh and before anyone posts that I should pay off some more of my debts or buy carpet, I will have already done that.

I think the thing that is stopping me is that I feel a bit guilty popping off for 3 days in the sun when the kids haven't been on holiday since we went with xp in 06.

My dad said 'you can't go anyway, you are a mother'

It would cost me about £200 for flight and hotel, and thats only so much cos i would be booking so late. Their flights were alot cheaper. I'd have to get pasport too though so have to add that on top.

WWYD ?

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:43

No one have an opinion on this ??

Additional info is, that I am 30 this year and apart from a trip to france with the school when I was 11, I have never been abroad and never been on a plane LOL.

OP posts:
bundle · 13/02/2008 09:45

I'd go girl

swampster · 13/02/2008 09:47

Go!

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:47

Thanks

I just feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, plus I am not sure I'd enjoy it as I amm not really the going out getting smashed type of person, although friend has said that she doesn't really want to do that either so it may not be like that.

OP posts:
thefunkypea · 13/02/2008 09:47

I think it's unfair that some people have huge hen-do's that require a lot of time and money to go on them. It sounds like if you have the money available and you really want to go, then you should just go for it. It will probably do you good to have a bit of time out from the dcs. Just remember to add in the cost of drinks, meals, club entry blah blah, cos that could be another couple of hundred before you're done.

kayzisbroody · 13/02/2008 09:48

If you can get someone to look after the kids if it was me I would go.
Yes you are a mother but everyone needs a break. Then any money you have left over can be saved up to take the kids to butlins or somewhere.
If you do go I hope you have a good time

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:49

I'm going to email friend back and ask her how much money i'd need to take for food, drink, clubs etc. I have no idea about these things.

OP posts:
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 13/02/2008 09:49

Go, go, go.

Sounds like you deserve it

lazarou · 13/02/2008 09:49

Personally, I would not go because of the extra expense and the hassle of having to sort out a passport.
I'm sure you would have a fantastic time though if you went, and it would give you a much deserved break.

bundle · 13/02/2008 09:53

wrt guilt - surely a break will help to relieve the stresses and strains of being the main carer for your children and make you a nicer mother?

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:53

Part of me wants to go because |I know my mum and dad don't think I should, and it will piss xp off LOL.

Have emailed friend about other costs so will see what she says.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:54

Probably would bundle yeah, especially as it is in the easter hols

OP posts:
themoon66 · 13/02/2008 09:54

It's not until August so you have plenty of time to sort out your passport.

Go.

bundle · 13/02/2008 09:54

get passport form this morning. do you have someone who could sign it for you?

rachaelsara · 13/02/2008 09:54

Passport will be £72!

I wonder if you've outgrown that sort of weekend, and might be miserable with guilt?

Or you might have a fantastic break with a chance to rediscover your lost youth?

Sorry!

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:55

No the hen weekend is 28th March

OP posts:
themoon66 · 13/02/2008 09:55

Oops... just seen wedding is August, not hen night.

I'd still go though

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:55

rachelsara, I have never been on that type of weekend, in this country or another.

I had Dd1 at 18 and have practically stayed in since then LOL.

OP posts:
bundle · 13/02/2008 09:56

lol @ staying in since 18

get the form

Freckle · 13/02/2008 09:56

If it's not the sort of thing you'd enjoy and you only have limited funds, I'd save the money and spend on a holiday that you and the children can enjoy. It's silly to go when you think you won't enjoy it just to spite your parents and xp.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/02/2008 09:57

I don't know if i will enjoy it though as i've never been on anything like it.

Apparently the plan is to relax by the pool in the day and go out for a meal and a drink each night (2 nights).

That does sounds nice LOL.

OP posts:
swampster · 13/02/2008 09:59

You will probably come back rejuvenated with a fresh outlook on life and feel able to be a better mother - go! Plus you have till August to save a bit more money for it.

thefunkypea · 13/02/2008 09:59

I think it sounds like you NEED to go away and have a laugh!!!!!! Especially if you haven't had much opportunity to do it in the past. Once you've got an idea of how much it will roughly cost, you can be happy that you've got enough in the piggy bank to cover it, and then let your hair down and go for it!!

Oh, and if it annoys your xp, so much the better (but agree, can't go if that's your only reason)

yomellamoHelly · 13/02/2008 10:00

I wouldn't go tbh. It's not just the cost of the flights and passport. It'd be a lot more on top - food out, drinks, clubs ..... and you'd constantly be worrying about how much it was all adding up to.

Or at least this is how dh came to decide not to do a stag do somewhere in Europe soon. Tempting though it is to throw responsibility to the wind!

We're also going for a week's holiday on the coast near Exeter at the end of April. Admittedly it'll take a tank of petrol to get us there and back, but it's costing £160 - so with food £200 for the 2 of us and our 2 dss.

In the long run we'll cherish the memory of a family holiday more than dh disappearing for a 3-day weekend.

spokette · 13/02/2008 10:02

The weekend will probably end up costing you more than you think plus you have the costs of the passport, getting to and from the airport etc.

Personally, I would save the money and if you want to spend it, treat your DC to a holiday. How about buying a tent for future holidays?

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