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Original poster

Are you always contactable?

45 replies

prufRockingAroundtheXmasTree · 07/12/2004 14:33

And is your dp/dh?

This is prompted by him going out to lunch yesterday until 8pm and having his mobile switched off. (Lunching is his job btw) I was expecting him home at "the normal time" ie sometime between 6 and 7, but didn't hear anything until 8. By which time I was of course worrying myself sick, although I should know from past experience that he's always OK.

Anyway, he's apologised for not calling to let me know he would be late, and it is absolutely ages since he last did it so I have forgiven him. But is it unreasonable of me to expect to always be able to get in touch with my childrens father in case something happens to them?

OP posts:
mrsflowerpot · 07/12/2004 14:45

Not unreasonable at all. DH does this. His best trick is to go out in the evening, tell me it'll only be until 9ish and then not turn up until 11 or later when he falls out of a taxi. Phone is usually either off or he's somewhere so noisy he doesn't hear it. (it's not often, I'm making him sound like the party animal he definitely isn't!) Or he'll have to drive somewhere across the country and then not ring when he gets there, so I spend the day in morbid imaginings about horrible car accidents (and checking the BBC and AA websites looking for accidents - I am pg and a bit over emotional!).

I don't mind in the day if his phone is off, that's fair enough, he's in and out of meetings etc. And I'm aware that to him this always makes me sound like a total nutter. But I would never go somewhere and not let him know when I'd arrived, or when I'd be back.

MoHoHo2 · 07/12/2004 14:47

No - I'm with you on this completely, and have had similar arguments with DH.. Just to put it in context, DH works from home about 5 mins from both the school and the nursery. Meanwhile I work up to a 30 min drive away,and am frequently elsewhere in meetings etc.

For the last week he has been unable to make any mobile calls simply because he hasn't got aroudn to adding any money onto it. And guess what - both kids have been ill from nursery/school and we've (i've) had calls from staff etc.

Aaargh!

cranberryjampot · 07/12/2004 14:48

I am always contactable by mobile and/or work or home phone. Dh does have his mobile with him generally but has been known to go out with it and switch it off which really aggravates me

KateandtheElves · 07/12/2004 14:54

I don't understand why you would switch your mobile phone off (unless you were in the cinema or something). Although I have been known to let my batteries run all the way down Blush, I wouldn't deliberately switch it off. Surely that destroys the whole point of carrying one?

MissYulie · 07/12/2004 14:54

I am always contactable, sometimes thats a bad thing. My DH is a pain. When he is away I always have to ring him. He switches his phone off when he is playing golf - thats ok but forgets to switch it back on.

MarsselectionboxLady · 07/12/2004 14:57

My dh asked me to get him a new mobile for Christmas. I asked him what point would there be in my doing that as his current mobile(s) are never in range, got a dead battery or just off. He went away for 5 days and didn't take his charger or leave me a number. I won't begin to describe the row that started. Had this conversation with bf. Must tell her that it is obviously a gender disease

SueW · 07/12/2004 15:00

I'm not always contactable and neither is DH. In fact, for the past, erm, 10 years or so I haven't even had a work no for any of DH's jobs although I usually have an email address for him. He doesn't answer his mobile when he's overseas although he will pick up texts during the evening. Frequentl his mobile is flat!

I don't have hands-free in the car so my molbile doesn't get used in the car although I will check it, if I remember, when I finish my journey/stop somewhere appropriate.

It's just the way we are and we both know the position. Perhaps we've just not got into the habit of being constantly able to keep in touch.

In all that time, I can think of two occasions when it's been a nuisance - once when DH was at home and I couldn't get through on the home line and his mobile was flat and I was calling from hospital where DD had had a minor op and once when DD's school called me when I was stuck in traffic and late to pick her up. On the latter occasion, I was at school within minutes of their call anyway and she had been put in after-school care.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 07/12/2004 15:11

I've never not been able to get hold of DP and visa versa.

I take it for granted that if i ring and his phone is off he's in atunel on his way home and I'll hear from him or see him in the next half an hour.

Can't remember the last time I wondered where he was and couldn't gethim. never want to go back to those days either.

marialuisa · 07/12/2004 15:19

DH is rarely contactable as he is usually in the lab or lecturing. He doesn't switch on his email either (so he can't get distracted) Doesn't really bother me but I would expect him to find time to call me if he was working late though.

In a dire emergency I would keep ringing the lab office and when someone finally pickedup, demand they found him-even if he has put up "do not disturb" signs. Think DD would have to be in a pretty bad way though.

xoz · 07/12/2004 15:30

Maybe I'm strange, but I don't have a mobile. dh has a work mobile but his moral/ethical standpoint(!) is that he only uses it when he travels for work purposes. This means that at various times both of us are not contactable. This includes times when dd1 is at nursery. and as we have no family in the area we live, we have not provided alternative contact people to dd1's nursery either. Thus far it has never caused a problem, although I had to take dd2 to A&E once and couldn't get hold of dh (one of the extremely rare times he went out for drinks after work) and didn't leave him a note or anything. He doesn't have the car, I do, so letting him know wouldn't have made any difference really. We just think that people managed for a long time before mobile and 24/7 contactability. We don't think it's worth paying all that money for the extremely rare occasions when we do need to talk to each other immediately. More often than not he's at his desk and I'm at home, so we use the regular phones to stay in touch when necessary!

PocketTasha · 07/12/2004 15:33

I'm always available and so is dh. He has msn at work and has it on so often i can just type in a quick question without even having to call him. But that's the other extreem, he's always there. He even tells me if he is likely to be away from his desk for more than an half hour!

Xp was the total opposite, drove me nuts, never told me if he was going to be late, didn't have a mobile, when he did he never answered it. I was forever worried about him, and more often than not i was just cos he decided to stay for a quick beer with his work mate after work and they ended up having a couple.. Thing that used to REALLY wind me up was the fact that if he did call it was always an hour after he was supposed to have been home, to tell me he was just on his way.. Especially before ds was born, cos i could have gone and done sonething myself... Instead of sitting in waiting for him and worryingAngry! (sorry, this always induces a small rant!Grin)

Pidge · 07/12/2004 15:50

Dp doesn't have a mobile - he's a teacher so it would be turned off all day anyway. I can always phone the staff room to get a message to him. He was an hour and a half late home the other night after a footie match and I was beginning to worry and wonder how I would find out what had happened to him. But that is very very rare.

I do have a mob, but only receive calls on it about once a month, so it gives me the fright of my life when it rings! I have it because I commute 1 1/2 hours to work and want to be able to let dp know if the trains are late, or if my bike gets a puncture and I'm stuck somewhere in South London in need of rescue!

wickedwinterwitch · 07/12/2004 15:52

No you're not unreasonable and yes, I am always contactable as the children aren't with me during the day.

SantaFio2 · 07/12/2004 15:56

this is ometyhing that has really started to bother me and i am having a mobile for christmas because of it.

A couple of weeks ago i went on MN meet and my train was delayed by an hour and 15 mnins. i started to fret about not getting back in time for dd. I know hardly anyone here and the one friend i could trust to have dd I didnt have her no. with me. I rang 4 taxi firms and not one was available. i rang dh at work so he could let school know (but he didnt pick the message up until 5.30pm!!!) Luckily i got back just in time for dd's bus and her lovely escort has offered to look after her in any emergency i have and has given me her mobile. But yes prufock it can be worrying :( sorry to waffle on!

deegward · 07/12/2004 15:59

Yes I and dh are always contactable, and must speak on the phone to him at least 5 times a day (he only works 9-5), its just the way I am. If his voicemail is on I would expect him to return my call when he got my message. Often if I am in town, my phone will go and it will be dh, when I get home the home phone tells me that he has tried the house for me before calling mobile

tallulah · 07/12/2004 17:52

It must be a man-thing. My DH has a mobile which is always out of batteries or out of credit or switched off. He managed to leave it at my mums last month so we won't get it back till Xmas.

We also have a wire problem at home which means that either the phone or the internet is plugged in. When people forget to switch the plugs back the phone rings for the person calling but not in the house.

I have had several calls at work from school- 30 minutes drive away- where they can't get in touch with DH who is at home 10 minutes away & had that mad panic of do I try someone else to go round & knock on our door or do I have to leave work & drive all the way home... it is really frustrating..

Equally frustrating is waiting in the cold to be picked up from somewhere & getting "welcome to BT 1571" every time you call home!!!! Angry (getting broadband soon so that may solve part of the problem!)

jingleballs · 07/12/2004 17:54

normally yes unless i'm feelin anti social in which case it doesn't matter what u do, i'll ignore all calls etc... turn off/ unplug all phones and sit in my house!

coppertop · 07/12/2004 18:03

I don't have a mobile phone. If I need to contact dh while he is at work then I e-mail him. If it's urgent then I will phone him at the office. He has a mobile phone that he switches on during his lunch break so I can contact him if there is a problem.

I'm a SAHM. If there is a problem at school then the secretary phones me at home. If for some reason I'm not available (hasn't happened yet - touchwood!) then they also have dh's work & mobile numbers.

If I'm out somewhere I always leave a note or send an e-mail to say where I'm going and when I expect to be back. If I'm going to be late then I use a phone box to let dh know. If he's out and is going to be late then he phones too.

Festivepussy · 07/12/2004 18:07

No never. I forget my mobile everyday and havent updated my old mobile to my new mobile number at school or nursery...and anyway since I never remember to take it with me it wouldnt matterBlush
I come home blissfully unaware that anyone has been trying to contact me to an answerphone full of "where r u" messages!

Hulababy · 07/12/2004 20:37

I am pretty much always easily contactable on my mobile. Only day I have problems is a Thursday. I am not allowed to take my mobile into the prison at all. In an emergency DH would have to go through the switchboard to find me. That's the only thing I don't like about working there.

DH is more of a pian. He is now supposed to have his mobile turned on at all times, as he is closest to DD's nursery when I'm at work. Really I know that he will often just not answer if in with clients or on a business meeting/lunch. In an emergency I'd have to ring a few times constantly to get his attention. Drives me mad at times!

NomDePlumPudding · 07/12/2004 20:40

I'm always contactable via my mobile, DH is generally the same although he has to have it switched off in meetings etc

RonnieTinselBaby · 07/12/2004 20:46

My mobi is on 24/7 between 12am & 7.30am its on silent, but always on, and home phone is there for between those hours. (I also always reply to texts even if its to say OK, so people know I've got it)

DH has 2 phones and I contact both, sometimes I call both several times and leave messages.

I tend to know where he is, so if he's at the pub I can find out the pub number, or if in away I find out all the places. (Altho I am 10 days off dropping no.2) but I have always adopted this as he would hate it if I had to take DS to hosp and he wasnt aware (even if he couldnt do anything)

PickasillyChristmasName · 07/12/2004 20:57

DH and I aren't all that good at always being contactable. I am the sort of person who keeps their phone switched on vibrate if you're lucky and more likely to be off.

I do check it every so often but wouldn't have it on when I'm driving etc.

DH has his on most of the time but does tend to have it running out of battery and/or credit quite often.

But if either of us is going to be late then we let the other one know.

Sometimes wonder how the world coped before mobiles Smile

hollyandlavenderwreath · 07/12/2004 21:03

we have a phone and when dh goes away with work he always takes it with him and he always rings me...and vice versa

when we're at work I ring him and he rings me, we never leave it more than 24 hours without talking to each other...just the way I like it (although I have been known to have it in my handbag and have it turned offBlush).

hollyandlavenderwreath · 07/12/2004 21:05

he rang at 9pm on the meet-up but was turned offBlush

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