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Original poster

would you do this?

703 replies

nappyaddict · 04/02/2008 11:34

if you worked nights and your child was always in bed and asleep before you went out and never wakes up, would you give your neighbour who was wellknown to your child the baby monitor to keep an ear out on the offchance that they do wake up and a key to get in on that offchance rather than giving up work? (a babysitter costs more than i earn an hour)

OP posts:
tiredemma · 05/02/2008 13:21

Oh right. I understand......

Lulumama · 05/02/2008 13:21

I think that people don;t like being 'used', nappies

you could have started a thread asking peoples' opinions on this

also, you say

"i am saying no cos of society but when i think about it logically it actually doesn't seem any worse than a whole load of other things people do"

logically, you think that leaving a 17 month old in the house alone, is ok? or not that bad?

you have not read all the what if scenarios that have been posted

e.g baby vomiting/ choking , waking up scared

the other womans' children needing her attention

or some other emergency requires her

gas leak, fire, robbery

etc. etc. etc.

you know what, if you still don;t think it is so bad, then fine.

just don;t act surprised that a lot of people were (rightly in my opinion ) critical of the idea, hypothetical or not

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 05/02/2008 13:32

"ds sleeps and eats when he wants or I can be bothered to remember

I am what I like to call a minimalist mummy. ie i do the least amount of work that i can possibly get away with - especially when it comes to ironing!

oh and they can occupy themselves perfectly without all singing all dancing gadgets whilst mummy spends her every waking hour on here."

All of the above has been pasted from your profile. That, combined with your suggestion that leaving your 1 year old child home alone and at risk meant that I was very worried about your son. What a waste of everyone's time and energy. I don't believe for a minute that this was an experiment, I think you panicked when some of us mentioned the NSPCC and SS.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 13:33

the only thing there that i can think is slightly is the when i can be bothered to remember which i think everyone knows is tongue in cheek.

OP posts:
ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 05/02/2008 13:34

Oh and by the way, yes I accept that much of what is on your profile may be a joke, but I didn't find it funny when matched up with what you were - seemingly- planning to do

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 13:36

all those scenario's i had already thought of that's why. we have alarms for smoke and gas and also a breathing one on his cot so anything "silent" would be heard on the monitor. and again all those things could happen if you were sat outside in the garden at night. i put ds to bed and i don't see him again until he wakes up in the morning. i'm sure i'm not the only parent who doesn't keep going in and checking. sure way to wake him up cos he's a very light sleeper so i do all i can to get him to sleep through.

you can only take my word for anything i've said so i accept that you can or cannot trust that and still think what you want.

OP posts:
ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 05/02/2008 13:39

I can and will think what I want to

I'm not interested in any more of the debate to be honest; I think you've wasted enough of people's time

MotherFunk · 05/02/2008 13:40

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 05/02/2008 13:41

ok, well, IMO, you cannot equate leaving the house to go to work, with being outside the house in the garden for a couple of hours, with the monitor next to you.

it would be absolutely beyond my comfort zone.

i would not be able to relax if that was the case.

i think it is all a question of risk , and what risks you are prepared to take.

what some people are prepared to risk seems preposterous to me

e.g taking children out in the car without a proper car seat and seat belt on a regular basis

and to me, this is a situation that is just not acceptable.

i don;t see how the scenario would work,surel the neighbour would be going to sleep at some point, and would take several minutes to be roused by the sound of baby crying, have to get up, unlock her house, go to yours, open up and go up the stairs. it is just not an acceptable risk to me.

you are right, i can only take your word for it, and it is up to you if you ever do this.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 13:56

why would she be going to sleep before 9:30pm?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2008 13:59

na, I do see some of your logic about some things being the same as popping out to the car / being in the garden etc. I suppose the difference is that this would be a long term thing. Also, I do think that for the neighbour there would be an element of out of sight out of mind, especially if, as you say, your DS usually doesn't wake - first time he does might be after a month or six weeks, I bet she wouldn't be quick off the mark then!
(BTW I do know this is hypothetical, I know it's wrong, just trying to analyse why)

ComeOVeneer · 05/02/2008 14:05

She may not be asleep but quite likeley so at 11/11.30pm which is when you said you finished work.

Look chances are nothing would ever happen and it would be a sucessful solution to you work problem. But we all read such sad stories of awful and truely unexpected/unpredictable accidents that do you really feel you would be 100% comfortable at work thinking of where your lo was at that moment?

MotherFunk · 05/02/2008 14:13

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 05/02/2008 14:14

who's mum gets home at 9.30?

sometimes people drop off to sleep on the sofa?

anyway , i thought this was hypothetical?

MotherFunk · 05/02/2008 14:17

Message withdrawn

georgedontdothat · 05/02/2008 14:21

no

tiredemma · 05/02/2008 14:22

Its not acceptable to leave a baby in a house alone, regardless of how long its for, who lives next door, if it has a barricade around it blah, blah, blah.

Hypothetical or not, its just not acceptable. Im sure Social Services would be able to clarify this.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 14:24

stealth - i'm glad someone can see where i was coming from

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 05/02/2008 14:25

And the point of the OP was what exactly?

themildmanneredjanitor · 05/02/2008 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 14:28

i know it just is wrong. i guess i over analyse too much and should just accept that it is wrong and that's that rather than starting hypothetical threads. i guess it's like the car seat thing. my logic is but i could get run over if i walked and you don't use them on buses or coaches but it just is unacceptable to not use one in a car. why?

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 05/02/2008 14:30
MotherFunk · 05/02/2008 14:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 14:34

you are obviously less likely to crash in a bus or a coach

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 05/02/2008 14:36

Nappyaddict.
What concerns me is that there have been threads from you in the past about your involvement with social services, the police, also considering fostering your DS when you were having problems with your mum.

Despite the rights and wrongs of what you are proposing think very carefully about how this would look if any of these agencies were to find out. And the possible consequences.

If you are working you should be entitled to childcare vouchers, which would surely be a much more responsible option?