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Original poster

would you do this?

703 replies

nappyaddict · 04/02/2008 11:34

if you worked nights and your child was always in bed and asleep before you went out and never wakes up, would you give your neighbour who was wellknown to your child the baby monitor to keep an ear out on the offchance that they do wake up and a key to get in on that offchance rather than giving up work? (a babysitter costs more than i earn an hour)

OP posts:
quiteupset · 05/02/2008 01:56

I am actually very angry and upset by this thread. Whether it was a wind-up, a little survey or just wondering it is not funny.

Playing on people's emotions isn't a nice thing to do. For anyone who has lost a child this is sickening. You asked a question, got answers but insisted on twisting things and arguing "But surely it is ok because xxx"

I realise you wanted to know what people thought but I think this was thoughtless and you were rather dismissive of the energy people invested in this.

I think I must be the only one who is taking your word that you won't do this.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 02:01

it wasn't meant to be funny or a wind up. a survey of answers to a question i suppose would be what it was meant to be.

it was purely a question to find out why people thought it was such a bad thing to do. i wouldn't do it is cos of the reaction from other people, but i wasn't quite sure why this created a different reaction from people than other very similar scenarios.

OP posts:
Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 02:04

there are many threads on here that would upset someone who has lost a child. are you saying people shouldn't post about things that might upset someone else? that's not very realistic! and no one has to take my word. why would anyone trust a complete stranger's word? but then why wouldn't they? it's not like any of you have a reason not to. i assume you have namechanged and i can only assume you have done that cos i know you? if so i am sorry i hurt you. i would never want to hurt any of my friends and if you do know me you should know that.

OP posts:
Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 02:07

and i was arguing but why not cos of xxx because that is exactly why i can't understand why it is so different. not because i was trying to twist it. those arguements were the whole reason of posting this. although it was a complete waste of time cos i am no nearer understanding now than i was before i posted.

OP posts:
dippydeedoo · 05/02/2008 08:38

The woman offering to care for your child albeit in a unusual setting has 5 children of her own.....6 children is a big responsibility for anyone also i have 3 sons early evening is the biggest times for accidents that involve trips to a&e at 7pm how cab she care for 6 children of varying ages lie that ....what if she had an accident? when u are sitting for someone in their home u check on the baby constantly I uite often snuggle up with a book and read in the babys room if im helping my friend out ....(leaving my children at home with their daddy.
Please dont all lynch me but i used to work for the social services and this isnt acceptable parenting .....there are benefit systems in place to support parents (however measly)who are in this category,it is hard to work and parent and i admire you wanting to work but this is why parents pay vast proportions of their salary for childcare gone are the days when we could play in the street whilst our mums were at work all day and this isnt an acceptable option im afraid.
However couldnt your son sleep next door in her room til u came home?no way must you leave a baby alone.
Again dont lynch me but the mcanns havent faced neglect charges(in my opinion)because they are middle clss professionals if that were me and mr dippy im quite sure we would have been arrested at the airport and investigated and tbh i think there would be a strong possibility of intervention with the children i did have left.

dippydeedoo · 05/02/2008 08:40

now i didnt realise this wasnt a true scenario im quite cross ive taken time to help you and offer options and really it was a wind up -bit sick minded whatever your excuse

KerryMum · 05/02/2008 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susiecutiemincepies · 05/02/2008 10:28

MF: I didn't read your post as saying your 'famous' friend was famous therefore ok to do what he/she does. i just read it as an 'aside' comment.

Lost of us know 'famous' people you know, and never mention it you know... you're not the only one who do you then???

titchy · 05/02/2008 10:31

Nappy I think the difference with sitting out in your garden of an evening, or using a baby listening service in a hotel is if you're out in the garden you DO check periodically. And yes your dc might stop breathing the minute after you've checked them and you wouldn't know until you checked again half an hour later, but at least you are able to minimize the risk by checking. Likewise in a hotel, it is a one-off occassion (usually!), and again the likelihood of something happening on that one occassion is minimal. However if you do something like this regularly, like several evenings a week then the chances of something happening when you are not there go up. There are risks with everything and you can't control them all, but you can minimise them, and everyone makes choices between what is an acceptable risk for them(i.e. sitting outside and checking regularly for some people, never sitting outside for others). But I think most people wouold say that the scenario you suggested is not an acceptable risk to take. It's the regularity of the situation that makes it unacceptable, not the situation iteself IYSWIM.

MotherFunk · 05/02/2008 11:40

Message withdrawn

JeremyVile · 05/02/2008 12:05

Whta a bizarre thread.

Dont know why you're all annoyed the op wasn't what you thought, you got the chance to flex your 'Disgusted of Dagenham' muscles - so everyones a winner surely?

Also, Shiny, I think you were reading totally imagined different posts by Motherfunk, your ramblings (including the comment about NA's profile) are odd to say the least.

ComeOVeneer · 05/02/2008 12:05

Please to see you aren't considering this. I do think you shouldn't have let it get so heated/emmotional though, ie come clean sooner.

On a lighter note am I the only one who misread QV's comment and sniggered?

"I can say that now as a person in my thirties and nappies will just have to take my word for it"

For some reason it read as
I can say that now as a person in my thirties and nappies "

Wolfgirl · 05/02/2008 12:07

Not read all responses, but another no from me too

Wolfgirl · 05/02/2008 12:09

bloody hell, wish I had now - oooh la la

ScoobyDoo · 05/02/2008 12:32

What a strange thing to do!

Sorry but i do think you were considering this & your back tracking because you did not get the answer you wanted!

Whatever your motive this situation is not right & i would never leave my children in a house on there own!

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 05/02/2008 12:33

JV- I didn't see the point of comparisons between MF's and NA's situations as we were considering NA's suggestion.

Have you read the entire thread?

NA's profile combined with what she appeared to be suggesting, rang alarm bells and I have every right to comment on that.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 13:04

as i have said i wasn't considering it because people don't think it is an acceptable thing to do but that is the only reason. hence the arguements of saying yes but what if ... cos in my head that is what i was thinking. i am saying no cos of society but when i think about it logically it actually doesn't seem any worse than a whole load of other things people do. if you read my op it actually was written as a hypothetical question. i didn't say i was planning on doing it. several times when people said it looks live you've decided i said i hadn't. all the way through it was kept hypothetical with lots of ifs, woulds and coulds.

still not sure what is so bad on my profile

OP posts:
belcantavinissima · 05/02/2008 13:08

no. definitely not. dont do it.

belcantavinissima · 05/02/2008 13:09

oops sorry only read the OP!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2008 13:12

Glad to see that people are still wasting time of this "hypothetical" social experiment of a thread.

I'm disappointed nappies. And if you dont understand why, then you really dont get the true essence of MN.

LOL COV

tiredemma · 05/02/2008 13:14

Is this not a real dilemma then?

cosima · 05/02/2008 13:17

if your child is in a cot then it is definately illegal

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2008 13:17

No, apparently not according to NA. It was an "experiment" to try and find out why it is unacceptable to do what she was suggesting the whole way through the thread.

And, after all that wasted time and energy, she's still none-the-wiser apparently. Shocker.

posieflump · 05/02/2008 13:19

can't the 15 year old babysit for you?

Original poster
nappyaddict · 05/02/2008 13:21

he could for a bit but he does swimming for 2 hours between 7 and 9.

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