Can I keep my maiden name but use married name for some stuff.

[tammie49]

I recently got married. We have 2 children together and they have DH's surname with my surname as a middle name. I wasn't massively precious about having the same name as them and think double barrelled is a faff (it would end up quite long). I'm in my 40s now and wanted to be married for all sorts of obvious reasons but I also didn't want to let go of my name. Now we're actually married I do feel a bit of a pull to make the change but my name is really unusual and my first name with DH's surname doesn't sound right to me. I also feel uncomfortable with the idea of abandoning my identity in that way.

Does anyone know if there's any huge issue with just keeping my name but using DH's sometimes? For DC's schools for example. I'm not going to be hugely offended if people call me Mrs. DHsurname. I just like my name better and CBA with the paperwork. I've toyed with adding his name as a middle name but again - paperwork!

You're legally allowed to keep your maiden (or current) name for work or professional reasons, and use your new married name socially or for family-related purposes. Even if you've changed your name by deed poll you're perfectly entitled to use a different one at work.

At work, nothing will change unless you specifically request it (eg asking IT to change your email address or your line manager to use a different surname on all correspondence or work papers).

In the case of being self-employed, legally you'll be [New Name] trading as [Former Name], if you've changed your name.

Depending on the bank, you may also be able to have two bank accounts - one in your maiden name and one in your married name - if you so want, as long as you're not doing so for fraudulent reasons. However, due to concerns over money laundering and tightening regulations, some banks are less obliging and The Guardian recently revealed how Santander had combined one married woman's two accounts into one. Santander has since apologised, but not all banks will let you run two.

Sorry! Pressed reply to soon -

www.madeformums.com/school-and-family/8-things-you-should-know-about-changing-your-name-after-marriage/

Source Site.

I don't want to change it officially on anything. I know I'm allowed to use whichever I like. Was just wondering if anyone used married name for some things without making any official changes to bank accounts/ passports/ driving licences.

I would have thought that for any kind of official documents you’ll have to use your registered name, so maiden name? That would include school records I would have thought but I don’t know that for sure!

There's nothing wrong with using a different name for some things so long as it's not legally binding. There are a tonne of doctors for example who continue to work as "Dr X" while having the married name of "Elizabeth Y" (ok maybe with real names instead of letters). I am quite unbothered if people in a hotel or restaurant refer to me as "Mrs Y" but legally and at work I'm "Elizabeth X". What do you think might be wrong with what you're hoping to do?

The only reason it would be a problem is if you needed to prove your identity with official documents in that name. I think you can get an ‘also known as’ added to your passport to get around this. I use both and have identity docs in both names, and bank accounts/bills in both names to get around this.

The only time it’s ever an issue for me is if I book something online, say, and can’t remember which name it is under! I just make them check both and no one has ever bothered about it.

With the example you have given, I’m pretty sure most schools get parents to sign some official forms so you’d need to use your actual name, surely?

I have never used my married name but some people just assume and call me by that anyway and I don't mind. It is mostly places like DCs school, doctors if I am with DCs although on their system they have my maiden name.

In terms of practicality for things like banks, insurance companies, or anything official where you might have to prove ID in the future it is far more straightforward to have everything the same.

Don't change your name for anything, or do it for everything. It's especially confusing for things like school, where your real name will be on certain documents but you're occasionally cosplaying as Mrs Hisname. Especially when you are emailing from work - in your name. Which is it? Did she change it? Did they split up? Dammit, did they split up? Should I ask? Dc did seem kinda depressed last week.

Sometimes people will call you Mrs Hisname. Sometimes people will call him Mr Yourname. It happens.

Just pick a lane.

I use both and it works very well- maiden name for work and married name for family/social stuff. The only thing to watch out for is that work flights need to be booked in the same name as your passport.

Never had any issue with school etc.

Just don't change your name. We all have different surnames in our house and I'm often called Mrs DHsurname or Mrs DCsurname but as long as all the legal and official stuff is correct you can call yourself whatever you like for informal everyday things. DC's school have never got my name wrong.

Divorce in my case but I did, kept my married name officially and reverted to my maiden name socially and professionally. It’s caught me out once or twice when parcels that need ID to collect have been sent in my maiden name by friends and I’ve had no ID in that name. Just extended my mortgage this morning and the lender was happy to accept the payslips in my maiden name (though tax account is is married name). Just remember what make you’re using for what

Just don’t change - it’s more confusing trying to use a mix. I haven’t changed, can’t face the hassle.

I use both. Problems only occur when I can’t recall which name I gave, and making sure I have identity documents in both names.

I use both my maiden name and my married name. It’s a bit random as to what I use where and over time I’ve tended to use my married name more as I use it wherever the kids are involved (eg for schools, doctors etc). I have my passport in my maiden name and my drivers licence in my married name so have ID for both if needed (ver rarely is but it’s there). Biggest problems I’ve ever had is DH forgot that my passport is in my maiden name and has booked flights incorrectly (only once after he went through the hassle of changing it) and once the bank were a bit arsy about transferring my money between accounts because they were in two different names (resolved when I asked to speak to a manager). Generally it’s been fine though.

Would your husband be up for changing his name? If your kids are small enough (harder if they see it as part of their identity) then the rest of the family could take your name.

I use both. My passport, medical records, driving license & one of my bank accounts is in my maiden name & I am known by that name professionally. However I have a bank account in my married name & use that socially & for anything with the DCs. TBh - I wish I’d kept it all in my maiden name - it would have been far less hassle. I just can’t bear the faff of trying to change it back with HMRC!

Of course you can! As long as you aren't doing it for fraudulent reasons.

PS it's not precious to want to have the same surname as your DC 🙂I bet no one ever thinks that of men!

Me and my husband double barrelled our names. But we still use our maiden names for everything like work, banks, ID. Mostly due to laziness and non of it has expired yet.

I do this too and it's not really an issue apart from as others have said sometimes you forget which you used !
I use my married name more as time goes by but it still Means quite a lot to me to hear see my maiden name in use .
No one at work really knows my married name .

I've asked him and he doesn't want to which is one of the reasons I'm reluctant to change mine because he just doesn't even see it as a possibility so why should I have all the faff? I can see appeal of having the same name as the children. They're at school now so seems daft to change although when I said "we could all have mummy's name instead" they were quite keen! Have toyed with "2 surnames, no hyphen" but that feels like a bit much. At 40 something I'm quite set in my ways.

Thank you. I'm pretty certain I'm the only person with my name (very unusual surname) and I do like that although I guess it makes me easier to find!
I often wish I'd just given them my name. I grew them after all! They have it as a middle name. Bloody patriarchy.

How does that work if you need 2 forms of photo ID?

I’ve never needed 2 forms of photo ID. It’s usually one of either passport/driving license and then one from a list of bills/bank statements etc.