First Holy Communion dresses - aka little girls pretending to be brides - can I have your opinions please?

[2sugars]

www.firstholycommunionday.co.uk/communiondresses/4517179846

Anna, April or Beatrix ((boak at names of dresses))

I really like April, but my mum thinks it's too grown up and looks like a ballgown. I think that's why I like it.

Any thoughts?

TIA

As a lapsed and disillusioned catholic I find the whole concept of the first communion attire really very repulsive. Send them by all means but not in a wedding dress....

Bree, how does he define looking like a bride? Communion dresses to me have always been a little bit bride-like, just more like a flower girls dress than a bride's dress. I't not really explaining this very well, am I?

I had my FC in the 1970s when everyone wore short dresses. Was amazed when my niece had hers last year how things had escalated. But Catholic friend here in England went looking for a communion dress for her daughter and was asked if the communion was taking place in Ireland or England - because 'they are much dressier in Ireland'.
My sister in Ireland assures me that not only is the horse and carriage thing happening in Ireland now but some children go to the alter sporting remote control halos. At the moment they receive the host their proud parent presses the button AND THE HALO LIGHTS UP!!!!
Please can someone tell me that this is true!!!

I've never seen it happen yet in County Meath Rosa!
I have to say, we seem to be a fairly restrained bunch around here! I have thought "God, that dress is a bit OTT" but it's only ever OTT in a meringue-type way, no lighting haloes. I have heard of horses and carriages, limos etc but have never seen them locally and would be very disappointed in my neighbours if I did!
Generally, you have the communion, they have a little party in the school afterwards, then people either go out for a meal or head home for a party.
My dsis is in Cork and one year they had a vote for whether little girls should all dress up in robes, kind of like altar boys or whether they should stick to the dresses. The vote was overwhelmingly in favour of the dresses but oddly enough most of those in favour of the dresses were Mums of boys!

I read this thread before I looked at your choice of dresses and was suprised at how normal they were really. Was expected crystalized ruffles and flowing veils from some of the comments.Its so easy to sneer and make assumptions about some child based on his/her love of a bit of communion bling. IME the whole light up halo bit is an urban myth, having attended 5 FHC in the last 4 years the general trend is for tasteful restraint. A friend in the trade says simple dresses are the best sellers with the skirt lenghts changing from year to year. And to my suprise choosing an outfit was as big a deal for my DS and his friends as it had been for his sister(who suprisingly loved a simple and very pretty knee length dress). He wanted a linen suit and a white shirt - had no idea he even knew what a suit, let alone linen, was. Most of the boys wore formal suits( some of them looked like mini grooms with waistcoats and dickie bows)by choice and my DS was one of the few without a tie. There wasn't one dazzling merguine among the girls. I also think its wrong to assume that kids think the whole FHC is just about the dress/bow tie. The schools and community here do a load of work beforehand with services and events , so all the children know that they are special and the day is special for them. Fancy outfits and parties confirm this.

elliphant, i used to think suits for boys were oTT but when my dd made her FHC, i thought the boys wearing suits looked sooo handsome!

Both my ds's looked gorgeous in their suits![preen]
Ellie, I don't care how much preparation they get, money talks!
On his communion day, ds2 walked up to the local shop in his suit along with ds1 and some friends. he came home very upset because some boys had teased him about being in the communion suit. His older cousin, aged 11 told him "They're just jealous cos they know you've gotten all that money!"
And there is a lot of playground discussion afterwards and a lot of competitive bragging about how much money each child got. Personally I hate that aspect of it but it's so ingrained over here that everyone seems to feel compelled to give the child money.

When my ds did his communion all the boys wore school trousers and shirts, with a tie which school had ordered for them - cost less than £10 for that anyway. I was very pleased to not to have to go to the trouble and expense of getting something just for one day.All the girls looked lovely and obviously enjoyed being 'princesses' for the day. (I did have a very secret snigger at one or two of the meringues tho'.) I think simple dresses look best on little girls.
No-one gave my ds any money! Maybe my family are tight!

Actually now I think of it, some of the mums were wearing 'mother of the bride' type outfits themselves. I did think that was quite funny.

I can't believe some people on this thread have been so dismissive of the op's feelings & of her faith.

So you think she should send her dd to her First Holy Communion wearing different stuff from her friends?

I am 30 now, but when I made my First Holy Communion I wore a white dress & a veil. We were poor & my godmother had bought me the dress. My mammy hated it She hated it mainly because it was expensive & she had no say in it

But my younger sister wore it after me.

And anyway, if people are going to get annoyed/opinionated re: a first holy communion dress being bride like... can I ask what's the general consensus on christening robes?

Only on MN would there be such an opinion re: dresses that children have worn for generations.

Though now I can see why last year for confirmation the local school made their pupils wear school uniform!!

Of course some people go to town to mark the occasion. These probably are the people who have very deep faith & respect for their religion & treat the sacrament of First Holy Communion with the reverence it deserves.

Our mam would have killed us when we were young if we hadn't have walked up the floor to receive communion during mass.

I don't like those miniature brides dresses on little girls.

Dd had a very simple white dress, and some flowers from the garden in her hair. Lots of people commented on how much nicer she looked than all the "brides".

I would say go for the simplest, age appropriate design you can find.

Have just read my second comment over again & it looks like I am saying that only those people who "go to town" have respect for the sacrament... that's so not what I'm trying to say!!

Re fireflyfairy's post, I have the same opinion on christening gowns as I have on communion attire. Ds1 wore a blue outfit from Mand S with a white shawl, my mum silently seethed. Ds2 wore a sailor suit from a 'seconds' shop with the same white shawl. (And when I got married I hired my dress.) I don't see the point in spending lots on something that'll never be worn again. However that's my personal opinion. We can spend our money as we wish. I bought a rara skirt in the 80's so I'm no expert.

My daughter is only one and I started to read this thread all excited to look at the dresses. I can't believe some of the comments! Yes, I will enjoy that side of things when the time comes but that doesn't mean that it will detract from the sacrament.

A huge proportion of very devout people spend a huge amount of time and money on their weddings - well that's their choice.

The only feeling that I got from the OP is that she's really looking forward to a very special day and I'm sure her daughter is fully aware of why it's special.

(Have already bookmarked Children's Salon website in preparation for 7 years hence!!)

Hey cornsilk

Sailorsuit?

Yeah... it's up there with the rara skirt...

I don't think they should be worn by babies.. the clue is in the name sailorsuit

I grew up in Ireland and I am shocked that the money thing is still going on.Such pressure on the givers and the children.

In England, or certainly this little corner of Surrey the children get gifts. Like photo frames, angels, cross and chain, rosaries, nice hard back books etc., Much less pressure all around. IMO

I don't like long dresses for first communions, sorry. Veils are even worse but I assume yours is not wearing one.

I like short dresses, maybe something very special but short (less formal) they are not geting married.

I don't mind the money - I thought it was traditional, but I have always only given a fiver.

Having said that, if everyone is having a long dress I wouldn't like my girl to feel out of place wearing a short dress. However... I wouldn't be happy about it.

DISCLAIMER:
I may have strong feelings about this as a few years ago my now exH and I were asked to be godparents to a girl. We had a good relationship with the girls (they were 2 sisters) and with one of them in particular so it was a bit of a surprise that they asked us to be godparents to the older one and asked another couple they didn't know well to godparent the other.

The buildup for the ceremony was hideous with mother getting so wound up about idiotic things: From the dresses to the cushions the girls were going to kneel on. Passing for the veils, the place of the party afterwards, the thibg to hold the veils, etc.

At some point the mother asked me to do some cards to give to the invitees specifying she wanted a praying, the name of the church, the priest, the city, the country, full double barred names of the 4 goodparents, etc. There was so much info that I ommited the surnames and the city/country details. Mother went ballistic and ordered a new set who she distributed in fron of me, her excuse was that she wanted every one to know that her dds's god parents were well known members of the staff of a prestigious university no matter that our Hs then hardly knew the girls!

We went from one thing to another which included the mother asking me not to bring extra invitees as she didn't want people gatecrashing the party (FGS!can't imagine ANYONE wanting to gatecrash a FC party!). And culminated with her ringing asking what H was going to wear on the day And what is worse all the ridiculous posh parafernalia this woman planned looked totally out of place taking place in a student mass at a classroom in the university.

As you can imagine we are no longer friends with this demented woman, actually, the issue took such importance that we are no longer friends with the other couple either! Our goddaughter let us know that her mother had forbid her to speak to us but I don't care, the only thing I could possibly do to offend this woman is that I decided not to take communion on the day, but then with my head bursting with un christian thoughts, what else could I have done?

Hence, every single sacrament there on, in our family, would enjoy the privilege of being simple, casual, and above all... clandestine

Bree, our family and friends only give gifts like you describe(we do seem to get a lot of rosary beads)and I think most others do the same.

MIL really goes to town. She gives gifts like prayer books and rosary beads but also gives a ton of money! I let it go because it's once in a lifetime and I don't want the ds's to think I am the spoilsport Mammy either. It all goes into their accounts anyway and they're not allowed to take it out so they will end up being those adults who "have their communion money"! But yes, Bree, it is still in full force!

We asked what my neice what she wanted.

Well, I'm sure an England shirt is an excellent reminder of the importance of faith in our lives......

and of hope!

presents ? blimey, we just had rosaries,prayer books and a little medallion...