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Overbearing in-laws

30 replies

00ri · 07/10/2022 02:05

At the start of my pregnant, it felt good to have a strong support system. I’m expecting my first child at what could be considered a young age and my parents weren’t pleased at all. At a time when I had never felt more alone, they turned their backs on me. My boyfriend has been supportive right from the start, he and his family took me in and his Mother seemed absolutely delighted and although I work and I insisted, she refused to take rent from us.

Honestly, the bliss didn’t last long. Six months into my pregnancy me and my boyfriend were involved in a small car accident. He was fine, I was fine and baby was absolutely fine. She demanded I quit my job, convinced my boyfriend that it was the right thing to do and then I had the two of them tag teaming me. I eventually gave in, my boyfriend makes enough money to support us but that wasn’t the point. I didn’t want to be stuck at home. She’s gotten really overbearing, she tells me I’m sick when I’m not sick, she’s constantly asking me if I’m okay and telling me that I’m exhausted even when I’m not exhausted. One morning a few weeks back she made breakfast but I wasn’t hungry, was feeling quite sick. I politely declined, she threw a right hissy fit and told my boyfriend I was endangering her grandchild and refused to speak to me for four days then started chatting again like nothing had happened. Told my boyfriend we need to move out and I’d go back to work (my uncle owns the restaurant I worked at, so this is always an option). We told his mother our plans and I could tell she wasn’t happy, she kept banging on about how we are being selfish spending money on a place and having nothing left for the baby when baby comes, and suddenly she wanted rent for the last two months we had lived there, said it was just to help a little as she was running short (she wasn’t, her and her husband have a tonne of money). I can’t tell my boyfriend this, don’t want to be accused of stirring but I know she did it because we finally had enough money to pay first two months rent on a small place, and then she took a big chunk of it.

But the worst happened just three nights ago. She said a bottle had gone missing from the wine cabinet then proceeded to make comments all night that I looked drunk.

honestly I feel so helpless, trapped. I’m so close to leaving and going back to my parents, even if I have to beg them to take me back. That would come at a cost, I wouldn’t be able to be with my boyfriend anymore, but I really can’t stay here with his mother any longer. 2 months away from giving birth, boyfriend isn’t doing anything and says she’s just looking out for me, keeps saying that as soon as the baby is born we will leave but I have a feeling she’s going to twist stuff and convince him to stay.

any advice? Any similar situations? Please. I’d love to hear.

OP posts:
00ri · 15/10/2022 20:01

Things are okay. A bit awkward. My Dad wants to go and rough him up, my mum seems happy to have me home. Ive told them the basics, shown them the dozen messages boyfriends mother is sending me (weirdly, he hasn’t called me or even messaged). Feel really lonely, hoping to connect with old friends once baby is born. Right now I’m just sat around with only the dog to talk to. Lol.

the anxiety is the worst. Constantly expecting for someone to come banging on the door saying that I’m not allowed to keep my baby because of accusations she’s made. Or even worse… her to turn up which she probably eventually will do. My mum keeps assuring me there’s nothing she can do, she’s just a nutter.

sorry, I’m rambling lol.

OP posts:
purpleboy · 15/10/2022 20:14

You and the baby are safe and that's the main thing, she will spread lies about you, she planned to do that from the start.
Your bf is no loss, I know you possibly don't see that yet but you will in time.

Herejustforthisone · 15/10/2022 20:42

I’ve not RTFT but it sounds like she is laying the groundwork to drive you to the point that she can ‘legitimately’ take your baby from you to raise herself…

Herejustforthisone · 15/10/2022 20:45

Ok I’ve RTFT now and yes. I stand by what I said. What a crazy bitch. Ignore them. Don’t put the father on the birth certificate.

toucaninjapan · 16/10/2022 10:39

Back in the day, my own mother told my granny in secret she plans to buy a fake medical certificate with "proof" that I have schizophrenia or anything similar so that she can take my children away from me (in the future if I ever decide to have kids). Apparently, she wanted to raise these hypothetical kids herself as I don't deserve them (she didn't like me a lot for looking like her MIL which she hated with passion). My grandmother (her DM) was shocked and tried to justify with her, but it didn't make her give up on her plans. Mother was a doctor with PhD working in a corrupt country, and I am afraid it was totally possible for her to turn her idea into reality. Many years later I learnt that in the past mother's SIL gave exactly same threat to mother when she was pregnant with me.
I ended up moving to another country as soon as I had the opportunity, and it took some years after cutting all the ties with my family to have courage to give birth to DC. I was always scared my baby might be taken away from me, so I know that fear @00ri . It sounds like you have a good family by your side, I'm sure that they will protect you and your precious baby. You're not alone.

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