Are taking drugs and being a good parent mutually exclusive then?

[wanderlust]

I don't want to get told off lots or start a fight, its just that I (along with most of my friends - parents or not) will take drugs every now and then, but I am aware that the people I know are not necessarily representative of what's really normal or acceptable - so what does everyone really think?

what about prescribed drugs though? you can't keep them in the shed, you'd forget to take them or keep putting the next dose off until it stopped raining or something

Those kind of drugs can be put out of harms reach, every household has those types of drugs in the house... I don't think this person was on about when they talk about sitting in a mates house, do you?

How many spelling mistakes??? hahaha.

I think if someone's careless enough to leave class As lying around they probably won't keep the paracetamol under lock and key either - but do you really think all drug users are inherently irresponsible?

The 'I like a few lines of coke when I'm out and the children are at my parents' for the weekend' people aren't being too naughty are they?

have only scanned the thread-but it has made me laugh

why is it only illegal drugs that are bad?does everybody think that pharmaceutical companies are non profit making organisations run by saintly do-gooders for the sake of the nation/s?that all the drugs they produce are perfectly safe and their clinical trials are all squeaky-clean and totally honest?that their marketing practises aren't in the slightest bit dodgey?

where do you think the now illegal chemical drugs originated ?

i take drugs every day.i am told they are not addictive,yet i will suffer 'discontinuation effects' if i stop taking them abrubtly.they are designed to alter my mental state,and i have found(due to previous experiences before i had children)that their effect is not dissimilar to taking a small amount of speed every day.but as they are precribed by my doctor that makes them ok.

ok

Maybe it's just me...I mean the cost of a few lines of coke could allow my kids a fantastic day out with lots of treats. I'm not judging people who do it, it really is just my view on the whole thing, I just wouldn't do it.
I understand when you're young, free and single, we all experiment, but when you have kids is it really worth the risk? A great night out that costs a fortune, horrible comedown and facing your children with it - or a great night out, slightly sloshed with friends, hangover cured by nurofen and lots of patience for your kids the next day?

snoosnoo - paroxetine? venlafaxine? fluoxetine?

Hmm, well going back to the op..........yes I do think you can still be a decent parent whilst enjoying rec drugs on an occasional basis. Don't do it myself as I would feel guilty - that's a personal thing and I wouldn't impose my opinion on others. I also think it depends on the type, quantity of and frequency that drugs are taken. If you use coke for instance, do you ensure that all the remnants are cleared up at the end of the night so that there is no risk of the kids playing with it. Ditto pills - do you check down the sofa creases/underneath to ensure nothing dropped down there. That kind of thing would worry me about drug use in the home where kids live. However, if you are meticulous about these things (which means knowing your mates are too)then you will have more peace of mind. I have to say, that having to do all that would make me not want to bother having any in the first place.

deathbysnoosnoo...you still taking the drugs from your doctor though I presume, so what's your point?

Really quite baffled and mildly irritated by some of the Daily-Mail-ishness on this thread. The taking of recreational non-legal drugs (which is, by the way, something I don't do: had a few spliffs in the past but never fancied anything else) is not an automatic route to psychosis, selling your kids for your next fix, or sudden death. The mechanisms of addiction are not properly understood but very few people would argue that anyone who ever sips a sherry at Xmas is guaranteed to end up swigging lighter fluid in the gutter.

There does seem to be a viewpoint among some people that parenthood marks the end of your life as a human being, and doing anything at all purely because you enjoy it (no matter how many precautions you have taken with regard to having your DC looked after by someone else, or doing it out of the house) somehow makes you a Bad Parent.

Now, how about another tricky question: has anyone settled down for an engrossing MN session only to hear, some time later, shrieks of anguish from an unsupervised LO who has fallen down the stairs/trapped its head in the catflap?throttled its sibling?

no, obviously my children are all too busy snorting lithium off the playstation

Worse! I nearly throttled mine (3yrs old) when he took the opportunity (as I was on mnet) to post my credit cards through the gap in the floorboards.

Careful with the lithium - it can cause toxicity (confusion and madlike behaviour - possibly hard to spot in children )and alopecia

I think we all agree that this site is addictive

ok. here is my take. HAVE NOT TRAWLED THROUGH THREAD, SORRY BUT TOO DEPRESSING I EXPECT.

addiction is in the main (not always but in the main) about a need to escape from intimacy: relationship.

because the formative relationships have been dangerous emotionally (or otherwise).

addicts are not 'ill' they are using drugs and alcohol to numb pain/escape from a sense of no self etc.

prohibition never ever works in the longterm

drugs are not the problem. emotional wounds are.

that is what i believe take it or leave it.

(much much easier to believe that you become possessed by the heroin devil the moment you passive smoke a spliff obviously)

The op is not an addict - she just likes to have the odd rec drug with friends.

exactly. addiction is a label for a set of behaviours. no more no less.

so of course a (rec drug use) + b (parenthood) don't in and of themselves lead to any c (set result).

having said that, getting to a place where you don't need to escape from being 'straight' (ie mind altering substance free in the main) is probably a good thing in terms of parenthood.

I agree with that - hence why I asked how often she uses. I cut down my alcohol intake for the same reason. Never drank loads - a couple of glasses a night and more at the weekend, but decided it wasn't good to rely on it helping me to unwind. Kept the name as a momento

Or maybe recreational drugs are used because the feel really good. We all know the heroin saying. Why do you do it? Well imagine your best ever orgasm times it etc etc.

Most people need something else!! I have a friend who does not smoke, drink, take drugs, or does casual sex but she's totally loopy.

That might be why people first take heroin, but I bet it doesn't feel that good after a while.

ANY sort of hangover makes me grumpy round the kids next day!

If I (very occasionally) have a wrap of speed in the house - I do like a line now & then - it's kept safely under lock & key. As are otc remedies & dh's prescription drugs.

As others have said, there's a perfectly feasible middle ground between being off your face when you're the only adult in the house, & never touching so much as half a lager shandy.

I choose to interpret that as 'One parent at least is in a fit state to deal with emergencies, including ones that involve driving' & 'No parent gets wasted in front of offspring'.

It's not about tragically fooling myself I'm being cool - if I treat myself to a line I tend to combine it with a few (quite a few) drinks & do something wildly teenage & exciting like, um, cleaning out the kitchen cupboards. I just like the buzzy feeling...

It's something I do less & less the older I get - from having been a bit of a raver in my teens/early 20s - simply because I do have young children & a grown up, responsible, stressful job - I just don't have time to let anything else screw up my sleep patterns!

But no, I can't agree that it's a sign of 'addiction' that once in a blue moon I fancy about £2 worth of speed - I've occasionally substituted 2 cans of Red Bull & the main difference is that the RB tastes nastier!

Now why didn't I think of that before?! My house could be spotless (and I wouldn't feel at all resentful for all the time spent cleaning it)