Are taking drugs and being a good parent mutually exclusive then?

[wanderlust]

I don't want to get told off lots or start a fight, its just that I (along with most of my friends - parents or not) will take drugs every now and then, but I am aware that the people I know are not necessarily representative of what's really normal or acceptable - so what does everyone really think?

Urgh! I remember my mum and dad smoking in the car on long journeys. Horrible.

Bah hukbug I'm sorry you seem to have crossed paths with these distressed people. Perhaps I'm lucking I never did. There were one or two people in my scene who were just taking too much but 99% of us just enjoyed the odd sesh. I did Es, weed and psychedelics for years off and on and I never once was offered heroine or crack and never even noticed people doing it. To be honest I wasn't even interested in Coke although there were quite a few people around me who liked it. I didn't like the vibe of it and tended not to hang out with the people who did.

It's the people and not the drugs. It's too easy to blame drugs but someone has to take them and as you point out, they start somewherre and make choices along the way.

I don't mean to be glib and I know some people, who were mentally fragile to begin with, had their problems exacerbated by drugs. I just wanted to give the other side because I feel it is traditionally under represented.

Humbug not hum buk. Grrr. Sorry.

talking of wild risks: i don't always wait for the green man before i cross the road either. and whats the current score? ecstasy 7 deaths? road accidents ???
AND i give my toddler wholemeal against the advice of the Food Standards Agency.
call social services now!
im too timid to eat some barfworthy sausage without seeing what shit is in it, but i'll take the risk on a pill ocassionally, because its worth it, its worth the very little risk of an adverse reaction. thats why thousands of people do it every weekend.
maybe you should try it sometime...

My mum's an alcoholic and growing up with that was obviously a very mixed experience for me and my six siblings. I can't honestly say that I thought she was a 'bad parent' - she just had problems, comparable to many other illnesses or disabilities. I think alcohol addiction is much more complex than 'social use spiralling out of control', there are so many potential contributory factors. With support she's been sober for a little over 19 years now, but I don't think exposure to alcohol made her an addict. In the same way most of us on this thread who have used drugs are not hooked, am I talking a load of shit?

Its a wonder that any kids survived into adulthood. After all these hazzards we were exposed to. Most of our parents smoked their head off in front of us probably when we were bouncing on their knee.

Sorry am way behind read the thread without refreshing.

MaeBee - you need to join me in the Naughty Corner.

Fancy taking considered risks....

the stock answer for addiction seems to be pretty much the same for other conditions from schizophrenia to anorexia - an inherited genetic predisposition plus various other 'stuff' along the way

Vacua. No you are not talking shit at all. Most people have been exposed to drugs and all to drink but it does not make us alcholics or drug addicts. Some people are more prone to addictions than others. The OP mentioned that her recreational drug taking was kept away from her DC. This is possible when they are younger, just as children of heavy drinkers dont realise there is a problem when growing up. However when kids reach their teen you cannot protect them from these things.

Is it even desirable to protect them from it? Of my two teenagers one has been totally honest about her experiences and the other just lied to me, the honesty was so much more weird and unsettling than finding out I'd been lied to!

I really think it's part of normal adolescent life, like drinking vodka under a hedge when you're supposed to be doing homework at your friend's house; it was normal when I was a teenager, when my parents were teenagers and it is now for my teenage children.

Of my children's friends' parents, some have been honest and frank about drugs and own use of them (ME), some have lied and others have taken the 'omg there is dog wormer in ecstacy, you can die from one pill' approach but they've ALL tried it. And good for them, I don't regret a single minute of my experiences and if I went back in time I'd happily do it all again.

What I was trying to say was that its very hard to protect a teen from your own recreational habits than it is when they are little

As for their exposure/temptation to legal or illegal substances, god knows what they will/are being offered. It is normal to experiment but luckily I'm still waiting for that to kick off with my DD. I wont flip when it does as I remember it all too well.

I did flip a bit, internally. It was so much easier to be cool and liberal about these things when it's other people's teenage children doing it!

argh I mean: It IS so much easier to be cool and liberal about these things when it's other people's teenage children doing it!

or: It was so much easier to be cool and liberal about these things when it WAS other people's teenage children doing it!

Dont know how I will react really. I've nothing to worry about yet. DD is so sensible but only 13 so lots of time. How is your DD now? I remember you were worried about one of your DD's a while ago.

My middle daughter is in hospital and has been for AGES - thanks for asking, it's nice that you remembered! She's in a special unit being treated for anorexia, it's a long hard slog in some ways (actual weight gain ) but amazing progress in others (actual eye contact again! and hugs!)

Hopefully having a daughter with anorexia doesn't make me a bad mother

Vacua, Very sorry to hear that she is in hospital. Hope she continues to improve.

yes i think they are - and feel sad that anyone needs to ask this ( or even consider it!)
sorry if i offend

my friends nephew took an "e" that he found laying around and was in a coma for 3 days, noone knows if there will be any long term effects.

leaving pills within a child's reach is just - well, beyond the pale innit. now you mention it, we don't know very much at all about the long term effects of ecstacy generally.

OK, here I go.... and remember it's my opinion, you can agree or disagree...
Taking drugs when you have children is just pathetic. I mean, why would you sit in a friends house off your face??? Keeping drugs in the house is a massive no-no and I believe you are irresponsible if you do so...
you need to get a life, grow up and start living if this is the lifestyle you choose.
For Gods sake... what a ridiculous question to ask...I could go on, but I'll stop...for now.