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Original poster

my DHs friends baby has just died:(

94 replies

mieow · 04/11/2004 12:45

He has shot out the door, and left me here, I don't know what to do!! I didn't know the little boy but am very shaken by this

OP posts:
Nikkichik · 04/11/2004 14:02

Oh how awful! I can sympathise with you hugely cos this has just happened to us and we didn't know what to do either. DH's best friend/our best man and his partner just lost their baby girl. Admittedly the pregnancy had been bad and the baby had several things amiss ie. lungs not growing properly and something where a part of the intestines grows outside the body (can't remember the name) but usually operable, so things were not looking good. They had had all sorts of conflicting advice from various specialists and hospitals ranging from 50/50 chance of survival to 'no hope' and 'will need a miracle' but very bravely decided to go ahead with the pregnancy anyway. x had to go into hospital for the last 4 weeks and was to have a CS and the hospital kept putting the date back and back.
The final date approached and we were wondering what was happening when we had a call saying the baby had been born but only survived for 9 hours. Although we all knew this could happen it's still such a heartbreak wwhen it does - you keep hoping that miracles do happen. What can you say when yours is a healthy/happy/very much alive toddler. Felt bad enough then and since DH's friend is a very private person we though it best to leave them be and offer support if needed. Then just yesterday they sent us a lovely poem they had had at the funeral and I've just totally lost it - I keep having to go away and have a cry.
All you can do is be there and offer comfort and support to the poor family and your DH and take care of your family.

Uwila · 04/11/2004 14:57

This is sooooooo dreadful. When I was living in Houston many years ago I recieved an e-mail that said "This e-mail is from Amy Rowe, a co-worker of womanx's. It is with great sorrow that I inform you of the death of daughterx". Daughterx was 10 years old. I was at work in Houston when I read that e-mail. I stared at my computer reading and re-reading that e-mail all morning. At lunch, I went home and bought a tickt for the next flight to Chicago. I was the most horrific heart wrenching experience of my life. I can only imagine what it was like for my friend, womanx.

No one should ever have to die after their kids.

This particular child had always been very sickly, but the doctors had also always said that it may alter her quality of life, but it wouldn't shorten it.

So so so sad. It still breaks my heart.

Uwila · 04/11/2004 14:59

Was this baby otherwise healthy? Did they have any warnings? Or did it all happen as a complete surprise?

secur · 04/11/2004 15:01

Message withdrawn

KateandtheGirls · 04/11/2004 15:02

What awful news mieow, but your husband is obviously a very good friend. I agree - don't worry about housework or anything like that.

motherinferior · 04/11/2004 15:07

Oh, I'm so very sorry.

Pagan · 04/11/2004 15:09

So sorry Mieow - big hugs to you and to the family. I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be [cyber hugs]

joanneg · 04/11/2004 15:11

mieow - how awful I think that there isnt a lot you can do other than give your dh a big hug when he gets in. ((hugs)) to you

winnie1 · 04/11/2004 15:11

mieow, what an awful shock and a terrible tragedy take care of yourself as shock can have a physical impact {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Frenchgirl · 04/11/2004 15:22

how horrible
your husband is a very good friend to have
many hugs xxxxxxx

misdee · 04/11/2004 15:32

mieow, have been out al lday, give me a call later if u want.

Original poster
mieow · 04/11/2004 17:03

Dh came home about 20 minutes before I had to pick the kids up, I was wrong about his age, he was just 7 months old. It came as a complete surprise for everyone, DH took them all back to the refuse on tuesday and he wa fine then, a little cold, nothing to suggest he would die from it. The police are involved as its a sudden death. Dh was questioned as he turned up at his mates house and they asked when he saw the baby last. DH said he was fine when he dropped them home on tuesdya. Made me hug my kids tight when they came out of school

OP posts:
secur · 04/11/2004 17:05

Message withdrawn

smellymelly · 04/11/2004 17:10
Sad
cab · 04/11/2004 17:14

mieow - we'll all be hugging our children extra hard tonight.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 04/11/2004 17:19

So sorry to hear this mieow.

sunchowder · 04/11/2004 17:24

My thoughts are with you and your family Miaow. It is so very sad, I cannot imagine it.

Hulababy · 04/11/2004 17:49

So sorry foor you and the family So sad.

Ronniebaby · 04/11/2004 20:53

Oh mieow, again how terrible.

You need to hug your DH tooo, I bet its distressing for him toooo

nightowl · 05/11/2004 01:26

awful. so sorry to hear this. my love to you and to this poor child and his family. dont know what else to say

Tickle · 05/11/2004 08:11

Poor poor family
Let's hope such a tiny little soul is at peace x

Feeling for you mieow, having to go through supporting close friends twice with such a tragedy.

{{hugs}}

SoupDragon · 05/11/2004 08:19
Sad
Stripymouse · 05/11/2004 08:21

It is gut wrenching just thinking about their loss without even knowing them personally, can?t imagine the horror they must be experiencing. No wonder you are feeling shaken. Hope you all find the strength to get through it and I am sure they appreciate your support. Hugs xx

ScummyMummy · 05/11/2004 08:23

So sorry to hear this, misdee.

zephyrcat · 05/11/2004 09:17

How are you and your dh this morning mieow?